Who Hijacked Our Country

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Canada: Ruined by Socialism

If you’re one of those gullible drones who believes everything the Republican Party tells you: Make sure you’re sitting down when you read this. Your favorite urban legends are about to go belly up.


“From screaming babies to frail seniors, Canadian-born or recent immigrants, the patients flow continuously through the waiting room of Dr. Kamini Kambli's clinic. Most have made their appointments that day. None will receive a bill.”

But, but — What about all those Canadians who’ve been writhing in agony on the waiting room floor for the last 96 hours? And we all know about that five-year waiting period for a doctor’s appointment. (And that’s for emergency care.) A friend of mine’s roommate has an ex-coworker whose cousin went to Canada, and she said…

Canada’s system is called Medicare. But unlike the American version which only covers people 65 and over, Medicare in Canada covers the entire population.

Dr. Kamini Kambli said: “It’s one of the best systems in the world. Everyone is guaranteed health care and it does not matter if you're rich or poor or what your medical condition is — you will be seen and provided health care. How can you argue with that?”

Nothing’s perfect, and Canadians have their complaints. But right now they’re more pissed off at American insurance barons and their slanderous descriptions of Canadian health care.

Dr. Michael M. Rachlis said:

“We've heard talk in the U.S. that you may die here because of long wait times, you can't choose the doctors or the care you want and that the government makes your health decisions for you, but none of that is really true. I think there's a lot that the U.S. could learn from Canada.”

A recent survey in the U.S. shows that 52% are worried about not being able to afford medical care in the future. And 30% are worried about being driven into bankruptcy by future medical bills.

The insurance industry has spent billions of dollars trying to soothe the public and conjure up fears of a giant collectivist government swallowing up their country. And yet more than half of the population is worried about how they’re going to pay their future medical expenses. So many more people to brainwash, so little time.

FreedomWorks, tell your bots to man their battle stations. Time for a few more of those spontaneous town hall disruptions.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Friday, August 28, 2009

You Voted Republican? That’s a Pre-Existing Condition!

God Damn It, somebody leaked this story to the press. This wasn’t supposed to get out until AFTER Obama’s Socialist Dictatorship was firmly established.

Oh well, now that the cat’s out of the bag — Yes, we ARE going to deny health care to Republicans, Christians and everybody else who doesn’t fit in with Obama’s Master Plan.

Not only will vital medical care be denied to all political opponents, but punitive medical “testing” will be administered to everybody who refuses to conform.

For example — All conservative males will undergo a monthly bladder X-ray, by means of a cystoscope (unofficially known as the Big Blue Donkey). This test will be conducted on the spreadeagled patient with no painkillers, no local anesthesia and no lubricant. The medical technician will make various jarring and wiggling movements with the cystoscope while “re-educating” the patient on his political incorrectness.

“Voted for John McCain, did we?” [jiggle jiggle jiggle]

As we all know, preachers have had an astounding success rate with their conversion therapies. Countless vile homosexuals have been transformed into productive heterosexual citizens. These preachers’ conversion methods — including electric shocks — will be used extensively in Obama’s vast network of political indoctrination camps (formerly known as “hospitals”).

While the conservative nonconformist’s family members are dying excruciating deaths from the medical treatment that Obama is withholding, he/she will be forced to view a series of images. Each image will be accompanied by either a painful shock or a pleasant vibrating sensation.

“In this picture, a cleancut young man is pulling himself up by his bootstraps, going to church and working 18 hours a day to become a pillar of the community.” BZZZZZZZTT!!!!!

“Next, we have a drug-addled welfare recipient, simultaneously smoking pot, setting fire to the American flag and pissing on the Bible.” mmmmmmmmmmmmm

And this is only the beginning. Yes, Socialized Medicine is the perfect carrot and stick approach, for converting America’s hardworking productive citizens into a bunch of passive welfare drones. And then America will be OURS.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Rightwing Shouters Condemn Town Hall Protesters

Yes, the rightwing talking heads are basically full of shit. But when you least expect it, they up and say something sensible. WTF???

Bill O’Reilly had this to say about these rowdy protesters who keep disrupting these town hall meetings:

“He wanted to disrupt the forum. And to me, I think he should be prosecuted...Look, the guy goes in there. He's totally inappropriate in every way…There isn't one appropriate thing the man did. He wants to disrupt the forum. Security has an obligation not to allow the forum to be disrupted.”

You Go Bill.

Sean Hannity said: “This guy disrupted the event. He disturbed the peace.”

You tell ‘em Sean.

Glenn Beck also had some choice words for those loudmouth troublemakers — I don’t have an exact quote.

Maybe it’s just the “broken clock is right twice a day” syndrome. But let’s give these guys credit for being impartial, for once, and calling things as they see them. Maybe there really is some common ground, and someday we can —

OOPS!!! My bad. Upon closer examination, the Three Stooges WEREN'T criticizing the recent town hall protesters. They were condemning that lone demonstrator who interrupted a John Kerry speech in September 2007. You remember — “Don’t Taze Me Bro.”

Nevermind. Well, that’s totally different, isn’t it.

So let me get this straight now. If a large group is shouting and drowning out a speech and yelling out threats, it’s just hunky dory. Remember, democracy is messy and disorderly. But when a person is by himself and his only “crime” is continuing to talk after security guards have told him to stop talking — Taze that motherfucker!

OK, I’ve got it now.

(H/T to The Rude Pundit’s post of 8/24/09.)

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Sunday, August 23, 2009

Still More Rightwing Talking Points

It’s not enough to keep fending off “Death Panels!” and “People Dying in the Emergency Room!” As soon as the media has been saturated with the Far Right’s current soundbites, new ones come oozing up. And each new Big Lie is even more absurd than the last.

There were two anti-health-reform letters to the editor in our local paper last week. They both used the same bizarre “reasoning,” which I haven’t seen before. We’ll see if this becomes a new talking point that gets recited to death.

Basically, there’s only X amount of “health care” out there — a fixed amount, like so many apples in a barrel, or so much water in a reservoir. Now, if millions of uninsured people suddenly get access to health care, there’ll be less of it for everybody. After all, if a bunch of new people come sauntering up to a huge table loaded with food, there’s less food for each person.

Personally, this seems so oversimplified, it’s like explaining advanced calculus in terms of “if Billy has three apples, and Andrea brings him two more apples…” Not only is this “logic” simple-minded beyond words — if there actually is any truth to it, it shows an incredibly cutthroat mentality. “If millions of people are suddenly able to have those life-saving medical procedures they need, I might have to pay more for my Botox injections and my next tummy tuck.”

And the “slippery slope” arguments keep getting more hilarious all the time. It’s so passé to compare ObamaCare to Socialism, Communism, Russia, Nazi Germany. That’s been done to death already. Let’s really dig deep. Deeper. Let’s compare Obama’s evil agenda to — Iran! The Hostage Crisis! The Axis of Evil! NOOO!!!!!

South Carolina’s Favorite Son-of-a-Bitch strikes again. Senator Jim DeMint actually said:

“And we’ve seen a lot of countries over the years collapse when they’ve gone down the road that we’re going down. Probably the most heart-wrenching experiences I’ve had over the last several days is when naturalized American citizens who have immigrated here from Germany, Iran and other countries, they come up to me and they say why are we doing what so many have fled from? Why don’t Americans see what we’re doing? And I’ve realized that these people who’ve lived under socialist type economies, and totalitarianism, they know where we’re headed if we don’t turn things around.”

Remember, this is the same shitwipe that bragged about “breaking” Obama by defeating health care reform. Can’t wait to hear what the Bastard out of Carolina will be spewing out next.

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Friday, August 21, 2009

America Finally Snaps Out of Its Mass Coma

For the past eight years — up until a few months ago — America seemed to be drowning in a sea of apathy and oblivion. It was scary, seeing an entire country just sitting there in a giant stupor. No matter how shocking the news was, no matter what our government was doing — no reaction.

Invading and occupying another country, killing hundreds of thousands of their citizens and more than 4,000 of our own soldiers — “Huh. Got any more beer?”

Massive spying and surveillance of American citizens — “So what. They can spy on me; I don’t have anything to hide.”

What was happening to us? The country that was founded by a revolution was sinking into quagmire of “DUUUHHH.”

But then last April, something snapped. Finally! I don't know what happened, but millions of couch potatoes suddenly came alive with populist fury. “Let’s see what’s on the tube” quickly gave way to “What??? Raise taxes on the wealthiest one percent of the population? Oh no you don’t!” And they took to the streets with a vengeance.

And the same thing happened again this summer. In early August, millions of jaded TV viewers were jolted out of their stupor, boiling over with furious thoughts of “Government bureaucrats meddling in the insurance industry??? Not on my watch!”

Who’da thunk that inside millions of couch potatoes, a fiery protester was struggling to break free?

And now the cat’s out of the bag. Millions of concerned American citizens are on watch, ready to stop Evil in its tracks. They’re taking their country back. And who do you think their next target will be?

You guessed it: Those ponytailed potsmoking treehuggers with their conservation and solar energy. They’re a threat to the oil and coal industries, and the American citizenry will not stand for this!

Concerned Americans: Grab your sign, a bullhorn and your Talking Points, and hit the streets! Big Oil needs you — Now More Than Ever.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Republican Insider Reveals Winning Strategy

A high-ranking Republican strategist — who insisted on remaining anonymous — has given an exclusive interview explaining why they’re so successful in derailing Obama’s agenda, even though the Republicans got trounced in the last election:

For one thing, we fight dirty. Principles are for pussies. The Democrats are like somebody who’s a martial arts expert. One of those highly ritualized martial arts, you know the kind I mean, spectacular to watch in a tournament but useless in a real fight. So there’s the Democrat standing there making all these fancy stylistic arm movements, making weird noises, making his hands look like an eagle claw or whatever, waiting for some sort of signal that the fight’s about to begin. And while he’s waiting, the Republican kicks him in the balls, stomps on his instep, punches him in the Adams Apple and jams a thumbnail in his eye. Works every time. Everyone keeps saying the Democrats should retaliate, fight fire with fire, fight dirty. But they never will, because they’re suckers.

And we keep improving and fine-tuning our use of the Big Lie technique. We never get tired of watching Americans go into a mass panic attack every time we yell out “Death Panel” or “Rationed Care.” It’s just too fuckin’ hilarious — yell out this phrase and then watch the terrified stampede of millions of gullible people. But this isn’t for entertainment; don’t get me wrong. There’s a purpose. These Big Lies put the Democrats on the defensive. They’re so busy denying our wacky, totally groundless accusations, they don’t have time to do anything else. Some Democrat has a smooth, well-thought-out speech all prepared, and before he can even read it, he’s frantically yelling and flailing about “No, no, I swear, there are no death panels that will execute your parents when they get sick.” “No, people in Canada are not dying in the emergency room because they’ve been waiting there for three weeks and there’s still no doctor available.” “I categorically deny that I am a socialist who wants to destroy America.” It shouldn’t be funny, but God, these Democrats are so easy, such pushovers. Just yell out the zaniest, most absurd accusations you can think of, and watch them flail and sputter and get all spasmodic.

When the Democrats won the 2008 election, the Party let its guard down. Big Mistake. “Whew! We won! Oh, thank God, now we can relax!” Suckers! For us, it was “OK, Plan A didn’t work — activate Plan B.” The health insurance industry has hundreds of billions of dollars to fight this thing. There are a lot of fake “grass roots” organizations which receive an unlimited supply of money from the HMOs. The Democrats know all about this; they just can’t do anything about it. Each of these groups has an army of fake “protesters” who go out and recite the slogans and talking points they’ve been given. The FreedomWorks Rent-A-Drones™ and Patients United Now Robo-Shouters™ are two examples; just two out of many. Now, when these rent-a-stooges, or whatever you want to call ‘em, go out and yell and shriek and wave signs, the media dutifully reports it, and millions of vapid TV viewers will see it and go “death panels?!?!?!?” They’ll tell their friends about it, and they’ll all trade stories. “Yeah, I heard people in England have to wait three years just to get a doctor’s appointment.” “I heard the northern United States is jam packed with Canadians coming here to get emergency medical care.”

And the rumors keep spreading, the panic grows, and the snowball keeps rolling downhill. You people don’t stand a chance.


cross-posted at Bring It On!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Valerie Plame 1, Robert Novak 0

Only a sleazy mean spirited lowlife would say something nasty about a person who’s just died. OK, with that said:

Burn in Hell you cocksuckin’ slippery little sack of pus.

Ahem — [breathe deeply, visualize a calm blue lake...]

Sorry but it needed to be said.

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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Stunning Victory For Dimwitted Shrieking Minority

Yaaay! Let’s hear it for the brilliant teamwork that derailed the majority. Thanks to a few wealthy shadowy PR groups and their reliable gangs of Robo-Thugs — Socialized Medicine will not be darkening America’s doorway.

Insurance lobbyists have thrown hundreds of billions of dollars — and thousands of Rent-A-Drones — into the battle against a government-paid health insurance option. And it looks like they’ve won.

Never mind that the vast majority of Americans WANTS government-paid health coverage.

When did the Democratic majority become so paralyzed? Didn’t they win a few elections in 2006 and 2008? A lot of good that did.

You’ll remember that when George W. Bush took over the White House in 2001, he had barely squeaked in. It was probably the closest presidential race ever. Al Gore won the popular vote. And the electoral vote count was so close, the Supreme Court finally had to install Dumbya in the White House. (Something about Dumbya’s father having appointed a few of those Supreme Court justices…) The Senate was something like 51-49 in favor of the Republicans. And yet, with this razor-thin margin, the Bush juggernaut immediately started steamrolling over the entire country as if they had the biggest, most sweeping mandate in history. Coming Through!

Eight years later, Obama wins the White House by a landslide, both houses of Congress are heavily Democratic — and what have we got to show for it? All we’ve seen so far is the Democratic majority cowering in fear of the party they just defeated.

Now remember, these Democratic “leaders” already have Socialized Medicine for themselves; they just don’t want the rest of us to have it. Let’s see if their own government-paid insurance coverage would pay for a spine transplant.

Friday, August 14, 2009

A Tale of Two Town Hall Meetings

At least two of Washington’s Democratic Congressmen were scheduled to hold town hall meetings over the past few days. They each had their own method for dealing with large, possibly loud and unruly crowds of protesters.

Rep. Rick Larson had a town hall meeting scheduled at a fire hall. Anticipating large crowds, he changed his plans and held the meeting at a baseball stadium instead. That’s the spirit. He showed that good old American ingenuity, and he got out there and faced the music. (H/T to Demeur.)

Rep. Norm Dicks, whose district includes Washington’s Olympic Peninsula, had a somewhat, uh, “different” approach. With so many news reports about town hall meetings gone wild, he transformed his town hall meeting into a small invitation-only “listening session” at the Red Lion in Port Angeles, WA.

There was a demonstration outside the Red Lion while Dicks was huddling inside with his “listening session.” Funny story: a local Republican leader has been endlessly repeating the Party Line. You know the drill — these protesters are all acting on their own. There isn’t some sort of [sigh] big corporation or Astroturf group that’s [sheesh] “masterminding” [roll of the eyes] these demonstrations. Etc.

And yet, two days before Norm Dicks’ appearance in Port Angeles, this Republican leader predicted that there would be “about fifty” demonstrators near the Red Lion while Dicks was speaking inside. This is Amazing! This guy is wasting his incredible talent just being some sort of mid-level Republican operative. He could be making a fortune as one of those TV psychics. Apparently, he had a precognitive vision of fifty Port Angeles residents getting up on the morning of Friday, August 14th, boiling with anger at the thought of government bureaucrats regulating the insurance industry. Simultaneously each one of them would pick up an empty placard (since we all have a few of them lying around the house), quickly scrawl a slogan on it, and make a beeline for the Red Lion Inn.

I went to check out the demonstration. As far as I knew, there weren’t any counter-demonstrations planned. I was tempted to make my own sign with a few misspelled words and blend in with the anti-Obama crowd. Something like “ObamaCare is Socalism” or “Obama Wheres You’re Birth Certificit.”

Anyway, it turned out there WAS a counter-protest. Without any publicity — the local paper didn’t mention anything about it and most of the people there said they didn’t know about it — about thirty to thirty-five of us were there. The anti-Obama crowd didn’t have quite the “fifty” people that appeared in that guy’s Vision — I’d guess about forty people.

The demonstration was at a busy intersection along a one-way street. The traffic came to the “Anti” crowd first; we were across the street. After passing through the intersection, the traffic passed us. Even though we were slightly outnumbered by the “Anti” group, our group got a lot more honks and waves and thumbs-ups. I didn’t see any hostility toward either group during the time I was there — no middle fingers, cusswords, shouting matches, etc. But an awful lot of cars drove silently past the Anti-reform crowd, came through the intersection, and then when they saw our signs they honked and waved and cheered.

My “favorite” scene from the “Anti” crowd: a kid no more than ten or eleven held up a sign saying “I love my Grandpa. Don’t you dare put him to sleep.”

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Rightwing “Logic”

How’s that for an Oxymoron. For some sick reason, I sometimes surf a few of the wingnut blogs. It’s entertaining in some twisted sort of way; it’s probably that same sickfuck gene that makes people stare at car accidents.

Some people just shouldn’t try to think. It’s too much of a strain, and the results are a catastrophe. Take this example (please!):

Obama was referring to the Post Office, FedEx and UPS to illustrate why a government-paid health insurance option would NOT drive private health insurers out of business. Here’s how a certain unnamed unlinked dimwit interpreted Obama’s statement:

“Dude…you just friggin’ proved our point! Private enterprise, when left unmolested by Big Government, will innovate every time. Whereas a government entity trying to do what businesses do (in this example, the Postal Service) will be bastions of inefficiency and waste…which is exactly what the USPS is! His ham-handed analogy is accurate, though: private insurance is like FedEx and UPS, and ObamaCare will be like the USPS.”

For anybody whose IQ is higher than their shoe size (the above-mentioned blogger is clearly not in that category), Obama’s speech clearly shows that government-paid health care is NOT a threat to the insurance industry; i.e. millions of people use FedEx and UPS because it’s more efficient.

Another wingtard blogger was trying to ridicule that paranoid leftwing conspiracy theory that [picture him sighing and rolling his eyes] some big mysterious corporation is masterminding [smirk] these town hall riots.

“I don’t know about you, but I sure would like to know specifically which insurance companies and ‘special interests’ — specific lobbying groups and companies — are organizing and paying for these demonstrations? After all, if you’re going to smear the thousands and thousands of people who are opposed to a public policy initiative like health care reform and show up at these congressional town halls, it should be snap to identify those companies who are paying for these protestors to come out and demonstrate, right?”

DUUUHHH!!! First of all, FreedomWorks and Americans For Prosperity (among others) are household names among millions of Americans who don’t rely on the mainstream “media” for their information.

Second — and this is too obvious to even bother spelling out — insurance lobbies are probably not advertising the fact that they’ve “motivated” a bunch of Rent-A-Drones to do their dirty work for them. And the drones themselves are probably not saying “huh, uh, I just came here because my puppetmaster told me to.”

Elsewhere — there’s some terrific news for Birthers, Fetus-Worshippers, dickless rightwing militia scum and other misfits: Scientists have discovered the long-lost place of your origins. Don’t you see what this means? You finally have a Home! Please go there. Now.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Alberto Gonzales Slandered by Liberal Media

Alberto Gonzales, Dumbya’s ex-Attorney General, says his legacy and his image have been ruined. Gonzales was best known for his frequent memory blackouts and his pants-creaming fantasies involving spreadeagled Iraqi prisoners.

An interviewer asked Gonzales: “Would you agree that your reputation was damaged by your service as attorney general?”

Struggling through his crippling amnesia, Gonzales rambled:

“It has had a, uhhh…an effect, a positive…no, I mean, uh, what’s the opposite of, of, uhh — Negative, that’s it. A negative effect, no question about it, and at times it makes me, uhh…happy, no, that’s not the right word, uhh, what do you call it when you, when you, uummm — Angry, that’s it. Angry because it is, uhhh, what’s that word when you don’t think you — undeserved, that’s it. But I don’t want to sound like I am whining. At the end of the day, uh, what did I do today? Oh, I meant that figuratively. At the end of the day I’ve been the, the, what was that job title again? OK, I remember now. Attorney general of the United States. It’s a remarkable privilege, and I stand behind my service.”

Last December, Gonzales actually asked: “What is it that I did that is so fundamentally wrong, that deserves this kind of response to my service?”

Here’s a little hint.

Gonzales starts a new job next month, teaching political science at Texas Tech University. That is, if he doesn't forget.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Saturday, August 08, 2009

“Reformed” Rightwing Rabble-Rouser Tells All

Straight from the horse’s mouth, as it were. Francis Schaeffer is a veteran of a militant Fetus-Worshipping cult — oh, sorry, they use the term “Pro Life” — that started in the 1970s. He’s been closely allied with Dick Armey, among others.

It’s hard to tell how much he’s “changed” or “reformed,” but he gives an insider’s view of the Republican scorched earth policy against Obama’s health reform plans.

He says: “The Republican Old Guard are in the fix an atheist would be in if Jesus showed up and raised his mother from the dead: Their world view has just been shattered. Obama's election has driven them over the edge.”

As we already know by now, there’s been a team effort between the multi-billion dollar health insurance industry and gangs of rightwing rent-a-thugs. Their sole purpose is to intimidate people who speak publicly in favor of health care reform. As he puts it, this operation is “a well-financed, top-down orchestrated fake grass roots campaign by corporate interests to try and protect the profits of the insurance business.”

Comparing today’s Neanderthals to his own checkered past as an anti-abortion activist, Schaeffer says: “What we did to clinics they are now doing to congressmen and others speaking out for health care reform.”

You probably don’t like this guy, but he sounds credible. Think of him as a criminal who rolled over on some larger criminals in return for a lighter sentence.

FreedomWorks (closely tied to Dick Armey) is one of these infamous Astroturf groups using the orchestrated top-down approach that, as Schaeffer says, has “been the norm for conservative organizations for years. How do I know this is the norm? Because I used to have strategy meetings with the late Jack Kemp and Dick Army and the rest of the Republican gang about using their business ties to help finance the pro-life movement to defeat Democrats. I know this script. I helped write it.”

Schaeffer says Dick Armey used to be a decent guy, and asks rhetorically what happened to him:

“How could he stoop so low as to be organizing what amounts to America's Brown Shirts today? I think I know what happened to him, Gingrich and the rest: They can't compute that their white man-led conservative revolution is dead. They can't reconcile their idea of themselves with the fact that white men like them don't run the country any more — and never will again. To them the black president is leading a column of the "other" into their promised land. Gays, immigrants, blacks, progressives, even a female Hispanic appointed to the Supreme Court... for them this is the Apocalypse.”

“Dick Army and company have been driven mad by their reversal, not just of political fortunes but of seeing that they've wasted their lives. They now know they were wrong: about the country, the free market, war for fun and profit, and what the American people really want. They made their best case and were rejected by the American people…So now all the Republican gurus have left is what the defeated Germans of World War Two had: a scorched earth policy. If they can't win then everyone must go down. Obama must fail! The country must fail!”

Schaeffer sums up his article with:

“It's time that this whole shabby (and insane) business be exposed, vilified and run out of town on a rail by whatever responsible Republicans — if any — that are still in the party and who want to see the fortunes of their party revived. Republican leaders taking insurance industry money via lobbying firms and using it to organize what amounts to roving bands of thugs not only need to be exposed but thrown out of the public debate forever. They should become absolute pariahs. It's time to give this garbage a name: insurance industry funded fascism.”

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Thursday, August 06, 2009

“Republican” equals “Birther”

Might as well cut to the chase; call a spade a spade. Stop pretending the Birthers are just some wacko fringe group that “doesn’t represent” mainstream Republicans. I mean, they ARE a bunch of wackoid sickfucks, of course. But they DO represent the Republican Party.

Our local newspaper has a daily online poll question (they’re not claiming it’s scientific). Several days before these survey results started hitting the news, our paper’s daily question was “Do you think President Obama was born outside of the U.S.?” About 35% answered Yes.

This county is fairly conservative by Washington standards, but Obama carried the county in the 2008 election.

Most of the polls I’ve seen since then seem to show about half of Republicans saying Obama is NOT an American citizen. Some “fringe” group. “Oh [ahem] [squirm] we have nothing to do with Them.” “I’m NOT with Stupid.”

Nice try. There’s an article about Republican strategists instructing politicians on how to deal with Birthers if they’re confronted in public. Basically — “distance yourself from them as quickly as possible, but be polite and don’t offend or alienate them.”

Sort of like those road rage warnings we’re always hearing on the TV news. No matter how pissed off you get at another driver, don’t honk at him or flip him off because “you don’t know who you’re dealing with. Too many crazy unglued people out there.”

The Republicans are already being dragged down by a few of their own Frankensteins: “Christian” fanatics who want to turn America into a theocracy; the growing White Supremacist movement; Grover Norquist clones who want to “shrink government down to the size of a bathtub and then drown it.” And now they’ve got the Birthers.

The Birthers need to be brought into the spotlight. Front and Center. Make Republican politicians squirm and try to look away. Make them choose between alienating their “Base” or alienating the other Republicans whose IQs are ABOVE freezing.

The Birthers — and the racists and warmongers and abortion-clinic bombers — are not some sort of accident or a fluke. Republicans can act all surprised and shocked and go “Huh, where’d these people come from?”

Here’s where they came from.

And here.

For over twenty years, Republicans have gotten more skillful at pushing the public’s Hate and Fear buttons; and less skillful at actually discussing and debating an issue on its own merits. It must have seemed like a gold mine in 1988 when George H.W. Bush discovered Willie Horton and the Pledge of Allegiance. “Michael Dukakis vetoed a bill that would require the Pledge of Allegiance to be recited in public schools!” “Willie Horton!” “Hey, this is kinda fun. I didn’t have a plan or any sort of solution to anything, and now it turns out I didn’t even need one. Hee hee hee.”

Willie Horton begat Karl Rove and the Swiftboat Veterans and the morphing of a Vietnam War hero into “Hanoi John.” It was all so easy; until it didn’t work any more.

Like they say, “use it or lose it.” Since the Republican Party hasn’t used any sort of intellect or logic for so long now, they’ve lost it. But look at what they’ve gained: millions of braindead Neanderthals who only respond to “Ugh!” “Hate!” “Fear!” “Homo!” “Brown People!”

And now the Neanderthals have come home to roost. They brought the Republicans to the dance, and now they're going to dance with them.

What a lovely couple.

Squirm, bastards.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Tuesday, August 04, 2009

North Korea Needs to be DISCIPLINED, Not CODDLED!

It’s bad enough we have the wimpiest president in our nation’s history. Now we have the wimpiest (and most loose-moraled) ex-president visiting our Enemy and getting all touchy-feely with them. That’s appeasement!

When one of those primitive Third World countries steps out of line, you don’t REWARD them for their bad behavior. You need to be FIRM. “That’s bad. Bad! Put your nose in it! Smell that?? That’s bad! Bad boy!!!”

Now see how simple that was? Damn, this commie Kenyan-born president of ours is just ruining everything. If only John Bolton were still running things — he’d show these pansies how it’s done.

Bill Clinton has traveled to North Korea to win the release of two American journalists, Laura Ling and Euna Lee. Last March they were arrested by the North Korean government. In June they were sentenced to twelve years in prison.

Bolton snorted: “What were they doing there in the first place? What were they wearing??? Mmmnff sffnpf bfpsmmf fmmnnbp Shit, that’s right, I have to lift my mustache before I talk. It comes perilously close to negotiating with terrorists. I think this is a very bad signal because it does exactly what we always try and avoid doing with terrorists, or with rogue states in general, and that's encouraging their bad behavior.”

The world needs to have a strong leader — a father figure, if you will, who will tell all those other countries what’s what, and make everybody toe the line. Everything was so much simpler when John Bolton was running the United Nations.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Sunday, August 02, 2009

“Spontaneous” Demonstrations: The Attack of the Rent-A-Drones

During the next few weeks, hundreds of spontaneous rallies and demonstrations will be breaking out all over America. Millions of hardworking everyday Americans are perfectly happy with their health insurance carrier. And they’re just boiling mad that Obama wants to come barging in and ruin this beautiful relationship.

They’re in such an uncontrollable rage, they’ll be demonstrating and calling names and shouting out threats and insults when Democratic congressmen are home for the August recess. Again now, these protests will all be spontaneous — the heartfelt outpourings of these people’s love for private insurance companies and their hatred of government bureaucrats.

Ready now, on the count of three — Be Spontaneous.

A few shadowy propaganda organizations have been orchestrating anti-reform demonstrations all over the country. They’re targeting Democratic congressmen when they appear at local town hall meetings. These puppets are instructed to be as loud and aggressive as possible. The sole purpose of these protests is to “rattle” and “shake up” the speaker and drown out the proceedings. Constructive dialogue and debate are NOT part of the plan.

Most of the town hall protests that I wrote about in my previous post were organized by these same slippery Astroturf groups. I still think — as I was saying in that post — that our representatives need to get out there and attend these meetings, whatever happens. If they can’t stand to get yelled at and have signs waved at them, they’re in the wrong line of work.

These phony “grassroots” organizations include FreedomWorks and Americans For Prosperity. Another corporate front group — Patients United — is busing people all over the country for the sole purpose of protesting and rallying against Democratic congressmen.

Here’s part of a leaked memo from FreedomWorks, giving instructions to their mules:

“— Artificially Inflate Your Numbers: Spread out in the hall and try to be in the front half. The objective is to put the Rep on the defensive with your questions and follow-up. The Rep should be made to feel that a majority, and if not, a significant portion of at least the audience, opposes the socialist agenda of Washington.

— Be Disruptive Early And Often: You need to rock-the-boat early in the Rep’s presentation, Watch for an opportunity to yell out and challenge the Rep’s statements early.

— Try To “Rattle Him,” Not Have An Intelligent Debate: The goal is to rattle him, get him off his prepared script and agenda. If he says something outrageous, stand up and shout out and sit right back down. Look for these opportunities before he even takes questions.”

There you have it. Be on the lookout for gangs of simple-minded mouthbreathing drones carrying out their marching orders. Coming soon to a town near you.

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