Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Democrats Crossing Over to Vote for Santorum

Mitt Romney barely squeaked to a victory yesterday in his home state of Michigan.  Michigan’s open primary allowed thousands of Democrats to vote for Rick Santorum.  I don’t know how many — or if any — of the remaining states have an open primary.

Theoretically, the GOP would be toast if Santorum got the nomination.  Obama’s re-election would be a slam dunk.  Rick “Life Begins at Erection” Santorum and his cult following of fetus-worshipers and Biblehumps couldn’t possibly appeal to the general electorate.  Put the boneheaded snake-handler at the top of the Republican ticket, and Obama will coast to victory.


But [shudder] what if this scheme backfired?  It’s unlikely, but what if the unthinkable were to happen?  Could Rick Santorum possibly get elected to the White House?

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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Iran Has Had Nuclear Weapons Since 1984!!!

If you’ve read Stephen King’s book It — remember when they discovered those old photographs of Pennywise the clown?  Here’s a picture of Derry (where the story took place) in the early 1900s, and there’s Pennywise, front and center.  Even old drawings and paintings of the town in the 1700s — there’s Pennywise.

And now, we have our own current version of Pennywise:  the perennial warnings that Iran will have a nuclear bomb any minute now.  According to Media Matters, these warnings go back to 2005.

It gets even better.  According to The Rude Pundit’s post of 2/24/12, these hysterical warnings about Iran’s nuclear arsenal go back as far as 1984.  On April 25, 1984, an AP article warned:

“Iran is likely to have its own nuclear bomb within two years, according to press reports cited by Jane's Defense Weekly. The magazine, part of the authoritative Jane's Publications on weapons systems, said Tuesday that reports from the Persian Gulf region last week indicated the bomb was being produced at a nuclear power plant in Boushahar, southern Iran.”

OK, we’ve been warned.  For the past twenty-eight years, Iran has been just minutes away from having its own nuclear weapons.

In other words, when you hear the next dire warning about Iran being almost ready to nuke America — take it with a grain of salt.  Or maybe a whole shaker full.

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Monday, February 27, 2012

Corporate Front Group Attacks Humane Society

I was one of eight people in the country who didn’t watch the Oscars last night.  But apparently there was a slick 30-second TV commercial during the ceremony, smearing and slandering the Humane Society.

It costs roughly $1.7 million to run a thirty-second ad during the Oscars, so this obviously wasn’t the work of some ragtag grass roots organization.  It turns out the ad was paid for by the Center for Consumer Freedom.

As we’ve all seen by now, the folksier the name, the deeper the corporate funding.  The Center for Consumer Freedom is run by Rick Berman, a PR flack/prostitute for the food industry.

According to the largest food magnates — or maggots, as they’d pronounce it in the south — the Humane Society is a threat to consumer choice, i.e. corporate profits.  The Humane Society’s crimes against the Food Syndicate include:  protecting dolphins against over-aggressive fishing methods, defending laws that prohibit the slaughter of horses, and pushing for laws that mandate more humane treatment of farm animals.

In other words, time to call in the services of Rick “Will Bend Over For Food” Berman.  Previous PR campaigns waged by this spooge-bucket include:

Debunking the “myth” that too much sugar is bad for you;

Trying to brainwash the public into believing that:  a) trans-fats are good for enhancing immunity and fighting cancer; and b) soft drinks will increase athletic performance.

Needless to say, he’s also a major player in the “Come on, Fellow Inbreds, you don’t believe in that ‘global warming’ nonsense, do you?” campaign.

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Sunday, February 26, 2012

Israel to U.S.: “Mind Your Own Business.” “Help Me!!!”

If Israel were to attack Iran, the United States would be pulled into another war.  Just what we need — another quagmire in the Middle East.  And there would suddenly, miraculously be trillions of dollars available for this new Operation Freedom or whatever euphemism they’d come up with.

Whenever the American government tries to restrain Israel — or if you’re still walking on your  knuckles, that’s “apologizing for America” — the Israeli government tells us to stay out of it.  Mind your own business.

Except, it IS our business.  If Israel attacks Iran, America’s warmongering chickenhawks will be champing at the bit to drag us into the middle of it.  You can take that to the bank.

Israel is like that mooching relative that everybody has — defiant, headstrong and needy all at the same time.  “Stay out of my face!  Don’t tell me what to do…Uuhhh, can you help me out with the rent?  I’m a little short this month.  Again.”  “I’m in jail again.  Can you bail me out?”

Someday, maybe, the United States will cut the umbilical cord and free Israel from the tyranny of America’s constant babysitting.  Imagine the pride and self-determination Israel will feel when she can stand on her own, no longer dependent on handouts from the American government.

In the meantime, if there’s ever a war between Israel and Iran:  Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich, Tucker Carlson and Rudy Giuliani — among other shit-spewing chickenhawks — should be immediately apprehended and sent to the front lines.

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Friday, February 24, 2012

Obama Chastises Republican Oil Company Prostitutes

Or maybe that’s a redundancy — “Republican” and “oil company prostitute.”

During a speech in Florida last night, President Obama lashed out at the oil industry’s harem (i.e. Republicans) and their retarded “Drill Here Drill Now” “solution” to high gas prices.  Defending his energy policy, Obama said:

“Only in politics do people root for bad news and they greet bad news so enthusiastically.  You pay more, and they're licking their chops.”

He also ridiculed the Republicans’ three-point plan for lower gas prices:

“I'll save you the suspense:  Step one is drill, and step two is drill, and then step three is keep drilling.  Well the American people aren't stupid.  They know that's not a plan — especially since we're already drilling.  That's a bumper sticker.  It's not a strategy to solve our energy challenge.  It's a strategy to get politicians through an election…Anyone who tells you we can drill our way out of this problem doesn't know what they're talking about — or just isn't telling you the truth.”

People who are informed — this excludes the gene pool rejects who get their “news” from Fox and talk radio — are aware that oil usage is at a fifteen year low, AND that there’s been MORE drilling under the Obama Administration.  They’re also aware that oil speculators are a major reason for skyrocketing oil prices.

In addition to speculators, oil exports are also inflating the price.  Oil companies can make more money by exporting oil than by selling it domestically.

I have no idea whether the government can — or should — force the oil industry to sell its products here instead of overseas.  But the public needs to clearly understand the cause and effect:  oil prices are sky high because of exports and speculators; NOT because those sissy treehuggers won’t let us drill.

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Thursday, February 23, 2012

Factory Farms Linked to Antibiotic-Resistant Diseases in Humans

There’s been speculation about this for years — a link between factory farms and the spread of infectious diseases that no antibiotic will touch.  Sounds like a no-brainer to me.  Hundreds of millions of livestock animals being routinely injected with antibiotics…more and more people being infected with antibiotic-resistant MRSA and Staphylococcus aureus — Connect the God Damn Dots!!!

In any case, the results are conclusive now.  No more guessing.  The American Society of Microbiology’s newsletter mBio has an article confirming your worst fears.  A particularly deadly strain of Staphylococcus aureus — CC398 — started out as a relatively harmless human bacteria.  It evolved into its present deadly mutation after colonizing the systems of pigs and chickens.

When this bacteria — inside the animals’ systems — was being bombarded with antibiotics, it not only became resistant to all antibiotics.  It also became bi-directional — able to be transmitted between humans and livestock.

The fun is just beginning.

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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Joe Arpaio to Announce Findings on Obama’s Birth Certificate...drumroll...

On March 1st, Americans will finally get The Answer to the most burning issue on everyone’s mind:  Was President Barack Hussein Obama born in the United States?

That date again is March 1st — next Thursday — so check your TV listings.  On that date, Arizona’s favorite inbred, “Sheriff” Joe Arpaio, will be holding a  press conference to let us know whether or not that Kenyan Muslim Communist occupying the White House was actually born here.

Arpaio has had a team of five specialists working on this Earth-shaking issue for the past year.  (YOUR tax dollars at work.)  And in just eight days, we’ll finally know.  Eight whole days!  Isn’t the nail-biting suspense just killing you?!?!?!?

Republicans can’t campaign on Obama’s “failed” economy since things are gradually improving.  (The improvement is too slow, but the trends are upward.)  Poll after poll shows the public disagreeing with the Republican agenda of gutting the safety net and reducing taxes for millionaires.  Republicans have trotted out their favorite Culture War icons — birth control, screaming fetuses, the Homosexual Agenda — and they’ve all gone over like a lead balloon.

What to do?  Eureka!  Let’s dust off the old “He wasn’t even born in this country” “Show us your birth certificate!” soundbites, in one last-ditch frantic effort to get the base all riled up.  (See lead balloon from the previous paragraph.)

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Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Canada Desperately Trying to Unload Tar Sands Oil

Imagine being a car dealer and you’re stuck with a huge lot full of 2-ton gas guzzlers that get 4.2 miles per gallon.  Or:  you’ve wasted an entire night hanging out in a singles bar, it’s 1:45 a.m. and nobody you’ve talked to likes the cut of your jib.

Canada is desperate.  “Please buy what I’m selling.”  “Please go home with me.”

Canada can’t even get the U.S. to ship Alberta’s tar sands oil to Texas refineries.  And now the European Union might designate Alberta’s tar sands oil as “highly polluting.”  Canada doesn’t currently export oil to Europe, but the Canadian oil industry is worried that the “highly polluting” label will jeopardize future sales to other markets besides Europe.

Canada might file a complaint with the World Trade Organization against the European Union if the EU goes ahead with the “highly polluting” designation.  The EU will be voting on this issue later in the week.

Canada is even threatening a trade war with the European Union over this issue.

Then again, the Canadian oil industry could always go back and relearn what they (supposedly) learned in Business 101:  In order to make a sale, you have to be selling something that somebody somewhere might want to buy.

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Monday, February 20, 2012

Newest Threat to Marriage: Obamacare

Gay marriage and birth control aren’t the only threats facing the American Family.   Rick Santorum has warned us that the sanctity of marriage is also under attack from:   Obamacare.

I knew it!  What’s this sneaky president of ours gonna come up with next?   He was born in Kenya, he’s a Muslim and he’s channeling his ancestral tribal hatred of white people.  Of course he’s been plotting to undermine the sacred institution of marriage, using the Trojan Horse of “health care reform.”  It’s all so clear now.

Santorum said that Obama’s Affordable Care Act hurts families by discouraging marriage:

“Do you realize that if you are married under Obamacare, you pay a lot more than if you are living together under Obamacare? A lot more.  Thousands of dollars more for the average American family you paid if you are married.”

OK, we’ve been warned.  Thank you Frothy.

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Sunday, February 19, 2012

President Obama: “Republicans Out of Step with American Values”

At a fundraiser near Seattle two days ago, President Obama took aim at the corrupt oligarchs who have been sucking the life out of the economy, and the millions of bone-stupid inbreds who keep enabling them.  (That wasn’t his exact wording.)

He made it clear that he wasn’t knocking the Republican Party per se; just the crooked sleazy “take the money and run” parasites that make up today’s GOP.  He went out of his way to praise Abraham Lincoln for launching the transcontinental railroad; Theodore Roosevelt (who called for a progressive income tax) and Ike Eisenhower (the Interstate Highway System).  From there he segued to a pitch for the Internet and infrastructure improvements we need today.

His speech included:

“The Republican philosophy is simple:  ‘We are better off when everybody else is left to fend for themselves, and the most powerful can write their own rules.’  And they're wrong.  That's not how America was built.  In the United States of America, we're greater together than we are on our own.  And we're going to keep that basic promise that if you work hard, you can raise a family, and send your kids to college, and put a little away for retirement.  That's what we're fighting for.  That's the choice in this election.”


“Yes, we are rugged individualists and we expect everybody to carry their weight and work hard and take responsibility for yourself and your family.  But we also recognize that for all of us to succeed, we have to have an investment in each other's success.  We won't win the competition for new jobs and new businesses and middle class security if we just respond to the same economic challenges with the same, old you're-on-your-own economics.  It doesn't work.  We've tried it.  It didn't work in the Depression. It didn't work in the last decade.  It won't work now…The recovery is accelerating. America is coming back — which means the last thing we can do is go back to the same failed policies, the very same policies that got us into this mess in the first place.”



Saturday, February 18, 2012

Oil Demand Lowest in Fifteen Years — Oil Prices Are Rising

So much for supply and demand.  Oil demand is at its lowest level since April 1997, and yet gas prices are higher than they’ve ever been at this time of year.

Speculators are the main culprit.  The chief oil analyst for the Oil Price Information Service  said:

“People are properly puzzled by the fact that we’re using less gas than we have in years, yet we’re paying more.  We’ve seen about $11 billion of speculative money come in on the long side of gas futures.  Each of the last three weeks we’ve seen a record net long position being taken.”

This is a Win Win Win for the Far Right.  First, a few oil speculators will earn a huge fortune (maybe “earn” isn’t the right word).  Second, higher gas prices could jeopardize the fragile economic recovery.  This is bad news for Americans; Republicans on the other hand will be jumping for joy at the idea of making Obama look bad.

Best of all, the “Dril Heer Dril Now” inbreds will get all fired up.  Them treehuggers won’t let us drill for oil.  Hurry up and build that Keystone Oil Pipeline so we‘ll have billions of new jobs and we’ll never ever have to buy another drop of oil from the Middle East.

Fortunately for rightwing demagogues, you can fool ALL of the dunces ALL of the time.

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Friday, February 17, 2012

Thirty-Two Senators Champing at the Bit to Attack Iran

Thirty-two senators have co-sponsored a resolution promising to take military action against a “nuclear capable” Iran.  None of them were able to clearly define what they meant by “nuclear capable.”

In answer to that question, Joe LIEberman said:

“I guess everybody will determine for themselves what that means.”

He also said:

“Iran has only two choices: peacefully negotiate to end your nuclear weapons program or expect a military strike to disable that program. Distraction by negotiation while you become a nuclear power is not an option for you, and containment of a nuclear Iran is not an option for us.”

Lindsay Graham said:

“The purpose is to tell the Iranians that no matter what you think, America is not divided when it comes to dealing with you.”

If this asshole thinks the rest of America is like his own redneck state, he needs to get out more.

The only response from Senator Richard Blumenthal (D—Connecticut) was “We’re for real,” thereby putting an end to the rumor that Richard Blumenthal is only a figment of somebody’s imagination.

Q.:  Out of these thirty-two warmongering senators, how many of them are planning to enlist, or to personally contribute something — ANYTHING — to their orgasmic war fantasy?

A.:  Zero.  Nada.  Zilch.

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Florida Holds Off on Private Prisons — For Now

Yesterday, Florida’s state senate defeated a bill which would have privatized twenty-six state-run prisons.  Nine Republican senators voted with the Democrats.  The vote was a victory for prison guards and other unionized prison employees, as well as for the prisoners themselves.  For that matter, the vote was a huge victory for everyone who’s properly horrified by the prospect of a private corporation being able to imprison people for profit.

It was a defeat for the state’s largest private prison companies — the GEO Group, Corrections Corporation of America, and Management and Training Corp. — and their favorite boy toy, Rick Scott, who had pushed for the bill.

If this bill had passed, 3,500 state prison employees would have lost their jobs and one fifth of the state’s prison inmates would have been turned over to a private prison company.  Imagine having your life become just a number on a prison corporation’s balance sheet.

There’s one political casualty from yesterday’s vote:  Republican state senator Mike Fasano spoke out against this bill before the vote.  Senate president Mike Haridopolos retaliated by taking away Fasano’s chairmanship of the committee overseeing prison issues.  Fasano said:

“I’ve been in the legislature for 18 years and I always have stood up for my conscience, and if it means me having to lose my chairmanship, I wear that as a badge of honor.”

And Florida senate president Mike Haridopolos is hereby anointed Cocksucker of the Week.  In addition, let’s hope Haridopolos gets framed for something and does some hard time in one of these private prisons he’s so gung ho about.

Anyway, a crucial battle was won in yesterday’s Florida vote, but the war is still looming.  The Corrections Corporation of America is on a huge lobbying bender in 48 states.  For any state that’s facing a budget crisis — and what state isn’t? — Corrections Corporation of America is making a seductive offer.  They want to purchase each state’s prison facilities in return for a twenty-year management contract.  Pretty tempting, no?  Invest YOUR sons and daughters in the lucrative Prison-Industrial Complex NOW.

In case you’re not creeped out enough already, the Corrections Corporation of America is also guaranteeing that their private prisons will be at least ninety percent full.  Is it just me, or does that sound like a self-fulfilling prophecy?

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Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Wealth Gap: A Serious Threat to the Country

This isn’t exactly a news flash.  Liberals and some economists have been warning us about this for years.  But somehow it has more Gravitas coming from this article in the Christian Science Monitor.

President Obama has been stressing this issue a lot lately, but I think he’s going about it the wrong way.  He puts too much emphasis on “fairness;” the rich “paying their fair share.”  Unfortunately I don’t think the concept of “fair” resonates with the public.  Most people are motivated by “what’s in it for ME?”  “How does this affect ME?”

And America’s lopsided wealth distribution is most definitely a ME issue.  This neo-feudal wealth gap is NOT working.  And this is what President Obama and other politicians need to be stressing.  Forget “fair.”  Communicate with the voters where they live:  their wallets.

This also has nothing to do with hating or resenting “the rich.”  Ultimately this huge wealth gap will derail everybody, including the one-percenters.

A World Bank economist said:

“The view that income inequality harms growth — or that improved equality can help sustain growth — has become more widely held in recent years.”

That’s putting it mildly.

Nick Hanauer, founder of the venture capital firm Second Avenue Partners — and co-author of “Gardens of Democracy” — said:

“If you have a society where the people at the very tippy top accumulate all of the resources, you choke the economy to death.  Steve Jobs didn't launch the iPhone in Bangladesh or the Congo. The iPhone is nothing without millions of people who can afford to buy it.”

Nigel Gault, chief US economist with IHS Global Insight, said that if the share of earnings that goes to pay for labor — rather than corporate profits — had held steady in the last few years, overall economic activity “would be a bit higher than it is now.”

He also said when the playing field is too tilted and un-level, people lose faith in the old adage about hard work paying off.  This lopsided playing field is also cutting off access to education for millions of people.

(And unlike John Galt, Nigel Gault actually exists.)

Bruce Judson of the Yale Entrepreneurial Institute said the U.S. is on a path of economic polarization which — based on patterns throughout history — could lead America to dissolution and revolution.

British scholar Richard Wilkinson pointed out the strong correlation — in other advanced countries — between income inequality and higher rates of illness, a general distrust and hostility, and a higher prison population.

The list goes on and on.  This problem needs to be dealt with.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

CPAC Attendees Served and Pampered by Union Employees

Among other burning issues, CPAC speakers railed against labor unions and those lowly blue-collar peons who work with their hands.  While the speakers ranted about labor unions — and birth control, socialized medicine, Muslims, you name it — their audiences were waited on by…drum roll…union members.

Can’t help wondering whether any CPAC attendees even noticed the “Hotel and Restaurant Employees Local 25” buttons the wait staff were wearing and, if so, whether any irony was noted.

We’ll never know, but:  Did the employees put Ex-Lax (or worse) in anybody’s drinks?  Did they overlook the “five second rule” for food that was “accidentally” dropped on the kitchen floor?  (See Waiting…)

If you were waiting on Scott Walker, Sarah Palin and their ilk, what would you serve them?

“Sir, would you care for a soupcon of Santorum?  A twist of Romney perhaps?”

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Monday, February 13, 2012

State Governments Pocketing Money Intended for Foreclosure Victims

Almost every state has received tens of millions of dollars from a federal mortgage settlement with the country’s largest banks.  This money was EARMARKED for beleaguered homeowners desperate to keep their homes.  But the governors of Wisconsin and Missouri have diverted this money for their own pet causes.

Scott Walker has yanked away $25.6 million from frantic homeowners and will use the money to help balance the state budget instead.  Missouri Governor Jay Nixon has taken $40 million away from desperate mortgage holders and will use the money for higher education instead.  Missouri Attorney General Chris Koster has publicly agreed with the governor.  And they’re both Democrats.

You’d expect this kind of shit from Scott Walker, the Koch Brothers’ favorite boy toy.   Missouri’s governor and attorney general have shown us once again that you don’t have to be a Republican to be an asshole.

Is this even legal?  It’s like that cliché about a panhandler who needs $300 so he can get to Chicago for a job interview, and you’re almost certain he’s just gonna spend the money on booze and drugs.  And now we have two governors who are sleazier than the most pitiful street beggar.

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Saturday, February 11, 2012

“Access to Safe Contraceptives is One Way to Curb Abortion”

That’s the title of this article by Cynthia Tucker.

“Access to Safe Contraceptives is One Way to Curb Abortion.”  This is the kind of sentence that would have most people going “Gee, ya think?”  “No shit Sherlock.”

But there’s a certain other type, a certain subculture, for whom that sentence is either blasphemy, or too difficult to comprehend, or something.

Could the economy — “It’s the Economy, Stupid!” — actually be pushed aside in this election, and replaced by the Culture Wars?

The Culture Wars — the war between Americans who would react to the above sentence with “of course, what’d you think?” and the Other Americans who would react with incomprehension and/or fire and brimstone.

Wars are supposed to be lost by the side that’s dumber; more primitive.  And yet these sperm-cell-worshiping imbeciles keep coming back and back and back.  Reminds me of a bumpersticker I once saw:  “You!  Out of the Gene Pool!”


Friday, February 10, 2012

Cal Thomas, Rachel Maddow and Birth Control

Cal Thomas used to be virtually the only rightwing pundit who didn’t stoop to personal attacks.  His column appears one day a week in our local paper.  Amy Goodman’s column is right below his.  How’s that for contrast?

Cal Thomas recycles all of the standard rightwing talking points, but he sugarcoats them with his gentlemanly folksy writing style.  But he must have gotten swept up in the frenzy of hatred and bigotry during his speech at CPAC.

Before Cal Thomas’ speech, a video had been playing where Rachel Maddow said Republicans were waging a war on contraception.  Cal Thomas chimed in with:

“I’m glad that you played the Rachel Maddow clip because I think she is the best argument in favor of her parents using contraception.  I would be all for that. And all of the rest of the crowd at MSNBC, too, for that matter.”

OOOOOHHH!!!  Well, now that the door has been opened:

A year or two ago The Rude Pundit wrote that Cal Thomas always looks like he’s watching somebody masturbate.  (This is the picture that appears next to Cal Thomas’ column.)

Pretty good description, no?

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Thursday, February 09, 2012

CPAC: “Mardi Gras for the Right”

Only instead of beads, boobs and Hurricanes, we’ll be getting high on Jesus.  And not just any “Jesus,” nosireebob.  It has to be the Supply Side Jesus — the Real Jesus, the Jesus who embraced the moneylenders and drove the beggars from the temple.

(H/T to TomCat at PoliticsPlus, where I first saw the term Supply Side Jesus.)

CPAC — the Conservative Political Action Conference — is the 40th annual gathering of Real Americans.  And if you have to ask, you’re a Real American if you think America used to be a great country but started  deteriorating around 1900.  That’s when Theodore Communist Roosevelt started whining about corporations being too powerful.  And on top of that, Flagburner Roosevelt had this wacky concept of “public” lands.  Public lands???  God created that land so that productive Americans could OWN it.  He put it there for mining, cattle grazing, chopping down trees.  And some of His land was also intended for the luxurious private estates of hardworking billionaires; that was fine with Him.  He DIDN’T create that land so that a bunch of faceless bureaucrats could cordon it off, call it a “national park,” and allow the riffraff to come in and gawk.

Just a minute, I’m getting all riled up.  I need to go thump the Bible for a minute…

OK:  In addition to hearing speeches by Mitt Romney (who invited that moderate jellyfish?), Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum, you can also listen to Paul Ryan telling it like it is:  Social Security and Medicare have created a nation of helpless dependent parasites.

And there’s good news for those of you who hate queers:  That group of Republican homosexuals that calls themselves GOProud will NOT be darkening CPAC’s doorway this year.  As every fetus-worshiping Biblehump knows, you CANNOT be a Republican, a Christian AND a homosexual at the same time.  And because GOProud won’t be here, the Family Research Council — who refuses to be in the same zip code as those simpering GOProud homos — WILL be joining us this year.  Hallelujah!!!

Sarah Palin will also be speaking.  It’ll be her first appearance at a CPAC gathering.  And saving the best for last:  the final night of CPAC will culminate in the annual Reaganpalooza party.  (If you have to ask, you ain’t a Real American.)  The Reaganpalooza will be held at the Teatro Goldoni on K Street.

See ya there.

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Wednesday, February 08, 2012

Obama’s Birth Control Mandate: the Center of the Universe

Every time another Bible-humping inbred makes the headlines yelling about fetuses and stem cells being sacred, the “experts” tell us that elections aren’t decided by social/culture-war issues.  Republicans can flame all they want with their personhood amendments and attempts to outlaw birth control — let alone abortion — and supposedly they won’t lose any votes.

But as soon as President Obama requires employers to include coverage for contraception as part of their insurance plans — BOOM!!!  This contraception mandate is the center of the universe.  For both sides.

“Don’t you DARE reverse your decision and start caving in to Catholics!”

WTF???  Didn’t we have, uhh, something about a debt crisis?  A high unemployment rate?  Where’d they go?

It’s true that millions of Catholics are Democrats, and Obama can’t afford to alienate them.  Would they actually vote Republican over this contraception mandate?

Would millions of liberals and feminists stay home on Election Day if Obama eases up on this mandate?

What say you?

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Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Monsanto running the Food and Drug Administration

In a world full of megalomaniac corporations, Monsanto stands head and shoulders above the rest.  Monsanto is poisoning the world’s food supply with their genetically modified  Frankenfoods.  And the company doesn’t even want the public to know whether or not they’re buying Frankenfood (officially known as genetically modified organisms, GMO).

Monsanto’s cutthroat business practices have driven thousands of small farmers to suicide (mostly in India).  The list goes on and on.

And now, in the most grotesque example EVER of hiring the fox to guard the henhouse, President Obama has appointed a former Monsanto executive to be the senior advisor to the FDA Commissioner.  Michael Taylor was a vice president — and after that a lobbyist — for Monsanto.  His resumé includes pushing Monsanto’s GM bovine growth hormone (rBGH) onto the public.  Monsanto not only wanted the public to be kept in the dark about whether the milk they purchased contained rBGH.  Monsanto also threatened legal action against any milk company that advertised that their milk DIDN’T contain rBGH.

And now this murderer is in charge of protecting our food and drug safety?!?!?!

If you would like President Obama to appoint somebody NOT connected with Monsanto to be in charge of our food and drug safety, please sign this petition.

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Monday, February 06, 2012

“U.N. Thugs! One World Government!” is the new “Socialized Medicine!”

Ever since the 1950s, the Far Right has thwarted government-paid health care by yelling “Socialized Medicine!”  They couldn’t very well come out and say “there’s lots of money to be made from sick people.”  It’s a much better sales pitch if you can scare the gullible with sinister visions of Soviet tanks rolling down Main Street.

More recently, large developers and the fossil fuels industry are using the same tactics to derail everything from bike lanes and mass transit to anti-sprawl “Smart Growth” projects — i.e. new housing being built in urban areas and close to a transportation hub.

Again, they can’t very well come right out say “our profits are more important than conserving energy and reducing traffic gridlock.”  It’s so much easier to get the inbreds all riled up with scary visions of a smothering One World Government engulfing America and destroying her freedom.

Maine’s teatard governor canceled a project which would have eased traffic congestion along the Route 1 corridor.  Too many “grass roots” protesters thought this transportation project was part of a sinister U.N. plot.  Ditto for a high speed rail project in Florida.

Undoubtedly the wicked Globalist schemers are telling each other “OK, we’ll get America all softened up with mass transit projects, and then we’ll move in for the kill.  BWAAAHAAHAAHAA!!!

The Communist under the bed has morphed into the Black Helicopter hovering near YOU.

UN Agenda 21 is the root of all this rightwing paranoia.  It’s a non-binding resolution passed by the U.N. in 1992.  The resolution is meant to encourage conservation of open space and natural resources.  You know, because of the human species exploding exponentially and devouring and polluting everything in its path.

Again, the key word in the above paragraph is NON-BINDING.  Sorry, wingtards — big word with three syllables.

Needless to say, the Republican Party has adopted a resolution condemning the “destructive and insidious nature of Agenda 21.”

The American Policy Center, a rightwing think tank, has been speaking out against Agenda 21 since the resolution was passed 20 years ago.  The group’s founder, Tom DeWeese, says he used to have small audiences whenever he railed against Agenda 21, but now the group’s membership is increasing and his audiences are larger.  Translation:  these inbred neckdroolers are getting more gullible every day.

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Sunday, February 05, 2012

Arizona’s Newest Holiday: White People’s Day

Republican state representative Cecil Ash has suggested that Arizona create a holiday to celebrate white people.  It’s about time!  Finally, this neglected unsung ethnic group will get the recognition it deserves.

Let’s hope the rest of the country follows Arizona’s lead.  We should all be celebrating National White People’s Day.  It would be a chance for other ethnic groups to dress like white people and imitate their stiff wooden movements.  And everyone could talk in those measured cadences and that careful enunciation that gives the white dialect its unique sound.

But seriously, there are so many things we take for granted which would simply not exist had it not been for the White Race.  You’ve spent countless hours in sterile shopping malls with one faceless store blending into another, and you’ve probably never stopped to think:  a white person made this possible.

And there are many other contributions from the white race which we take for granted.  For example:  the Dewey Decimal System was invented by a white person.

Same thing with our beloved American cuisine — it was brought to us by white folks.  Sandwiches with mayonnaise on white bread; macaroni and cheese; mashed potatoes; Twinkies, cube steak — what other ethnic group could possibly come up with such delicacies?

And think of the TV programs we all grew up with.  Westerns, sterile comedies with canned laughter — think back to your favorite TV shows and thank a white person.

And most important of all:  Music.  God only knows what we’d all be listening to if it weren’t for the Caucasian race.  White people invented both kinds of music:  country AND western.

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Saturday, February 04, 2012

The Politicization of Super Bowl Commercials

Is nothing sacred???

I don’t care about football.  I just watch the Super Bowl for the ads and the halftime entertainment.

But tomorrow, there will be at least two political ads to interrupt the escapism.  The mayors of New York City and Boston will be talking about gun control.  And some “pro-life” group will deliver a somber message about screaming fetuses or something.

WTF???  You’re supposed to spend this sacred holiday sprawled on the couch, wasted and bloated.  The ads are supposed to make you laugh and/or go “Wow!!!” at the special effects — not sit bolt upright and go “Yeah!  That’s Right!” or “Those Fuckin’ Assholes!”

Oh well, another American tradition down the tubes.

Friday, February 03, 2012

Florida Rep. Rachel Burgin: “Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain!!!”

The American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) is basically a “bill mill” that grinds out jillions of boilerplate “suggestions” for state legislators to pass into law.  ALEC is funded by some of America’s largest corporations, and the laws they dictate to their stenographers, er, state legislators, are pushing the Corporate/Rightwing agenda.  Voter suppression laws, union busting, gutting the safety net — if you like these laws that are being passed in lockstep throughout the red states, thank ALEC.

When state legislators receive their ALEC instructions for a new bill to pass, they’re usually discreet enough to change the wording just slightly.  They don’t want it to be too blatant that they’re nothing more than a secretary taking dictation, or a prostitute following her john’s instructions right down to the kinkiest detail.

But now Florida Rep. Rachel Burgin has let the cat out of the bag.  Yer Busted!

Last November she introduced a resolution calling for lower corporate taxes.  It was another written command from ALEC (needless to say).  The “resolution” she introduced was nothing more than a copy of the written ALEC instruction, and her Xeroxed “resolution” even included ALEC’s mission statement at the top of the page.  DUUUHHH!!!

Open cookie jar, insert hand.

She realized her error and quickly withdrew the bill; and then reintroduced it with a new bill number (HM 717) and without that pesky ALEC mission statement.

Her little coverup-of-the-coverup managed to stay covered up until a week ago.  Nice try.

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Thursday, February 02, 2012

Biblehumpers Don’t Let Biblehumpers go to Starbucks

The Far Right has always hated Starbucks anyway.  Providing good pay and benefits to their employees, purchasing Fair Trade coffee from a bunch of swarthy peasants in third world countries — Starbucks is Wrong For America.

And now that same-sex marriage has been legalized by the Washington legislature, the inbreds are crawling out of the woodwork.  Starbucks — based in Seattle, and a longtime proponent of gay rights — is their newest scapegoat.

Pastor Steven Andrew, president of USA Christian Ministries, is urging all Christians to boycott Starbucks until that godless company sees the light, yells “Uncle!” and starts doing its fair share of gay bashing, as God intended.

Steven Andrew’s “reasoning” — not easy when you think the Earth is 6,000 years old — is that since 80% of Americans identify themselves as Christians, Starbucks’ business will fall by 80% if the company is boycotted by Christians.  oooookay.  Anyone who could be convinced by this dickwad to boycott Starbucks probably doesn’t drink coffee anyway.  Who needs coffee when you have snake venom?!?

Steven Andrew said:

“Starbucks is no longer fashionable. If your church still uses Starbucks, then your pastor is a friend of the world.  God calls those who oppose Him ‘haters of God.’  Starbucks can follow Satan if they want to…This boycott is important because God blesses those who obey Him and judges those who don’t obey Him.”

He refers to Starbucks coffee as “Satan Juice.”

Here’s a link to the USA Christian Ministries website.  You’ll laugh.  You’ll scream.  You’ll kick the computer.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go grab me another Cup o’ Sate.

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Wednesday, February 01, 2012


The Stop Trading On Congressional Knowledge (STOCK) Act is getting closer to reality.  The original purpose of the bill was to stop insider trading among members of Congress.  But more restrictions keep getting proposed.

Rand Paul has proposed an amendment that would prevent lawmakers from becoming lobbyists after they retire or get voted out.  A former senator or congressman will be able to either become a lobbyist OR keep his retirement benefits.

Susan Collins, alarmed at this “harsh” amendment, said:

“As I read the language, the former member of Congress who writes a book would be in danger of forfeiting his or her pension.”


Senators Michael Bennet and Jon Tester — both junior senators — have added a lifetime ban on members of Congress becoming lobbyists.  And staff members would be prohibited from lobbying their former bosses for six years.

Two other senators, Sherrod Brown and Jeff Merkley, have proposed an amendment that would require lawmakers and their senior staff members to either divest of all stocks, or transfer all of their stock holdings into a blind trust.

Senators Claire McCaskill and Pat Toomey have proposed a Senate ban on earmarks.  And Jim DeMint is pushing for an amendment requiring term limits for Congress.

No matter how restrictive this law becomes, it won’t be easy to vote No on it.  Congress has a 9% public approval rating, and this is an election year.

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