Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, April 15, 2006

"Da Vinci Code" is EVIL!

The Da Vinci Code was a popular Satanic book that corrupted millions of readers. And now the movie version will soon be tempting us. The Devil is upon us. We must turn to God.

The Da Vinci Code is an attack upon the very foundation of Christianity, especially those of us who handle snakes, speak in tongues and hate homasexials. Tolerance and open-mindedness are a threat to everything we believe in!

The Da Vinci Code is just the latest battle in the leftwing War on Christianity, and Goddamnit we're gonna win this one. Socialist Revisionists have been trying to rewrite the Bible, telling us that Jesus helped the poor and didn't persecute sinners. Blasphemy!

Fortunately, the American Family Association is here to save us. The Reverend Donald Wildmon has created a DVD: The Da Vinci Delusion. It’s sixty minutes long, and it needs to be viewed by every God-fearing decent American.

We need to return to the Truth. God hates homos, and anybody else who's different. And He never said nothin' about helpin' no poor people!

This DVD is only $25. Click here to order. NOW!

WELL, what are you waiting for??? Get out your God-damn checkbook RIGHT NOW you godless child-killing Pagan!!!

Thank you. Praise the Lord!


Blogger Diana Crabtree said...


April 15, 2006 at 10:40 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Diana: Thanks.

April 15, 2006 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger The GTL™ said...

Yes, praise the Lord! It is because of His Righteous (note the word "right" is clearly contained within the word "Righteous" now!) Hand, the author of the Divinci Code has been placed upon the No-Fly List. That'll show that unamerican athiest who he's dealing with! This here is a Christ-ee-in nayshun, bro... and we damn well shall act like it round these here parts...

April 15, 2006 at 3:21 PM  
Blogger Watch 'n Wait said...

As I did. That was hilarious and right on! Thanks. :)

April 15, 2006 at 3:29 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Gun-Toting Liberal: I didn't know about the Da Vinci Code author being on the No-Fly list. Well, I guess that's what you get for snubbing the Lord and hating America.

Watch 'N Wait: Thanks.

April 15, 2006 at 5:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, I'm a Christian and I found that post absolutely hilarious!

I read the "Da Vinci Code" along with every installment of "Harry Potter" and I find all this "sent from the devil" malarkey to be utterly embarassing. Last I checked, Christians were supposed to be adults who were capable of discerning right from wrong on our OWN without help from groups like the AFA. Those fools make my frickin TEETH hurt!

Anyway, I'm off my soap box now. Thanks for listening and good night. ;)

April 15, 2006 at 5:14 PM  
Blogger The GTL™ said...

Check it out, bro...

Google Search: Dan Brown No-Fly List

Heard it on the Randi Rhodes Show the other day...

April 15, 2006 at 8:00 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Nicole: Yeah, it's hard to believe anyone getting so uptight over a novel or a movie. I read Da Vinci Code and saw the first Harry Potter movie; I can't imagine what the problem could be. The AFA couldn't possibly speak for very many people.

GTL: Right you are. Not only Dan Brown, but also a soldier returning from Iraq whose name was Dan Brown. I guess it's either keep your mouth shut or don't plan on any traveling (and don't have the same name as a famous troublemaker).

April 15, 2006 at 9:42 PM  
Blogger Wally Banners said...

Happy Easter man!

April 16, 2006 at 2:32 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Thanks Wally. Happy Easter to you too.

April 16, 2006 at 10:26 AM  
Blogger Argent said...

The entire hypothesis of the Da Vinci Code is completely plausible, that's what frightens fundamentalists. Why is it so hard for them to believe that ancient Christians were just as unethical, dishonest and agenda-driven as they are now???

Because they'd have to face themselves and the fairy tale their little minds are clinging to.

Happy Easter!

April 16, 2006 at 1:26 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Argent: I just thought The Da Vinci Code was a good read, regardless of whether it's true or not. But the author's premise makes more sense than what the Fundamentalists are saying, so undoubtedly they're scared shitless and lashing out.

April 16, 2006 at 3:29 PM  
Blogger Kitchen Window Woman said...

Tom...I read it some time back and agree with you that it was a real good read. It doesn't matter whether it is accurate or not...what matters is that people are questioning the mytholoy that they have been submerged in. The Church doesn't like thinking and questions. I don't doubt it is a control the masses issue.

April 16, 2006 at 4:52 PM  
Blogger Mike V. said...

I loved reading the stuff on the AFA site about the book.
As if he was writing a text book or something that was supposed to debunk the Bible rather than a FICTION NOVEL!

Ugh, people need to get a clue..

April 16, 2006 at 5:23 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Kitchen Window Woman: Yeah, I really enjoyed the book. It was entertaining and thought-provoking. And for too many people, "thought-provoking" equals "sinful." Thinking people are harder to manipulate and manage.

Mike V.: Yup, it's funny to see people getting so hysterical about a novel. It's clearly labeled as "Fiction," whether or not the author is trying to push a certain viewpoint. Those people definitely need to get a clue. Or a life.

April 16, 2006 at 5:56 PM  
Blogger frstlymil said...

Wow - ya know our collective intelligence is shot to hell when people are threatened and afraid of a fictional novel that uses some interesting Gnostic research to interweve the plot. Last I checked, Aslan the fluffy Jesus Lion in Narnia wasn't actually all that accurate either - 'cuz good ole CS Lewis was writing a work of FICTION - with some fine biblical allegory to ahem, interweve the plot. Where was the AFA then? "Jesus was NOT a talking zoo animal!!!!! Blaspheme!" And the crap about Harry Potter is just mind boggling. If ever there were morality tales for kids, those books are fine reads . . . albeit fictional. People afraid of fiction. Threatened by books. Ooooooh. Idiots. The Da Vinci Code was a great read - somewhat akin to Katherine Neville's "The Eight" in terms of weaving historical fact with fiction to create a terrific adventure novel. Perhaps if these people didn't ascribe to "literal interpretation of the bible" they would actually know how to read with some semblance of critical thinking skills. Did I say, IDIOTS? I'll bet these same people have a Christmas tree every year and celebrate Easter with egg hunts and chocolate consumption - both of which are commercialized paganism that has nothing to do with Christianity. I'd love to hear someone from the AFA explain how the easter basket they gave their kid has anything to do with an empty tomb.

April 16, 2006 at 7:03 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Frstlymil: Yeah, it's pretty ironic, all the uproar over the Da Vinci Code. Americans have been making fun of Islamic Fundamentalists who rioted over those Danish cartoons, but I don't think the American Family Association is much different. Being threatened by books, or new ideas -- that's pretty sad.

And it's so obvious that Christmas and Easter were "borrowed" from Pagan holidays. I can't believe all the Fundamentalists who tell their kids "look what the Easter Bunny brought" without seeing the slightest irony.

I really enjoyed the Da Vinci Code. Even if the author only intended it as fiction, it reminded me in some ways of a history book called "Lies My Teacher Told Me" by James Loewen.

April 16, 2006 at 7:37 PM  
Blogger spaceneedl said...

tom, it sounds like ron howard is not, after all, opie dei.

April 16, 2006 at 10:34 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Spaceneedl: LOL. Good one.

April 17, 2006 at 1:36 AM  
Blogger Praguetwin said...


You Heretic you. Keep it up.

April 17, 2006 at 2:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO! Very good!
The Da Vinci Code was a great book. I really enjoyed it. It's my brother's favorite book (and he's Catholic). How absurd that the church has to come out with something to disprove every single thing that comes out and lifts an eyebrow at Christianity - fiction (like The Da Vinci Code) and non-fiction (like the Gospel of Judas).

April 17, 2006 at 7:02 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Praguetwin: Thanks. This Heretic will keep on.

Cassandra: Yeah, I really liked the Da Vinci Code. Interesting and thought-provoking. These Fundamentalist leaders have some serious problems if they get that worked up over a book that's labeled Fiction.

April 17, 2006 at 9:13 AM  
Blogger nicholas said...

the main problem is that the church as a whole has never bothered to tell its members that the divinity of Jesus would in no way be challenged or compromised by a holy marriage. the church has been afraid to let its people think and realize through personal study that there are certain aspects of doctrine that simply are not that important. nowhere in the bible does it say that marriage is a sin. i, personally, do not believe that jesus was married simply because in the expensive library of early christian literature (both cannonized and not) it is never mentioned that Jesus had a wife...it seems to me that if it were fact, it would have found its way into someone's work in unsubtle term. but if it were to be discovered beyond a doubt that Jesus had a wife it would not alter this christian's view of His divinity in any shape or form.

the church needs to start teaching people to examine what they believe rather than telling them that certain things are sinful to consider.

April 17, 2006 at 2:26 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

The Stereotype: Those are good points. The teachings of the Bible shouldn't be affected at all by whether Jesus was married or single, rich or poor, whether he was crucified or whether he died peacefully of old age as a rich old married man. Too many people have their beliefs centered around the trappings and rituals, rather than the essence of what the Bible says.

No religion or belief system can be jeopardized just because people examine it closely.

April 17, 2006 at 5:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...


your too much dude :P

Praise jesus and pass me the remote :)

April 17, 2006 at 7:18 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Dusty: Thanks. Glad you liked it. Praise the Lord :)

April 17, 2006 at 8:32 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't they realize, by suppressing the book they are supporting the same conspirisy the DiVinci code talks about?


April 18, 2006 at 7:51 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: No, I don't think they realize it.

April 18, 2006 at 8:00 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

I'm not a Christian, and I've read all of Dan Brown's books, all the Harry Potter books, and "Holy Blood, Holy Grail" plus plenty of other books that might freak out the fundamentalists. I thoroughly enjoyed all those books.

I like Nicole's comment toward the beginning of the thread: "Last I checked, Christians were supposed to be adults who were capable of discerning right from wrong on our OWN without help from groups like the AFA." Nicole, those people make my teeth hurt too. I was a regular churchgoer for years, and involved myself in numerous Bible study groups... I don't see a lot in the current marriage of religion and politics that would suggest those people are really concerned about what Jesus taught. The right-wing politicization of Christianity in America is one of our greatest tragedies of the last 20-or-so years, in my opinion. I gave the drummer from our band a bumper sticker that reads "Pat Roberston is proof that intelligent design is a myth." As an agnostic, I don't claim to have any knowledge about whether or not ID exists, but I got a huge laugh out of that one.

April 18, 2006 at 8:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It occurs to me how unsteady the Christian faith of some who feel so threatened by a novel must be.

One would think their faith would be solid no matter what novel or movie is popular these days. And if a movie is all it takes for someone’s faith to tailspin then perhaps that person’s faith isn’t grounded on much to start with.

As for “DiVinci” itself, I thought it was an inventive story. But it soon felt like a scavenger hunt, with Dan Brown hopscotching his readers from one clue to another. After a while, this formula grew tiresome for me.

I’m looking forward to the movie, though.

Beta Ray Billy-Bob

May 3, 2006 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Beta Ray Billy Bob: I agree, I can't imagine why their faith isn't strong enough for them to put up with a movie that questions their religion. I thought the book was great. I'm looking forward to the movie too.

May 3, 2006 at 4:14 PM  

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