Washington Bigots Get Enough Signatures for November Ballot

The State of Washington doesn’t have gay marriage. But the state legislature recently expanded the benefits that gay couples are entitled to. The new law is nicknamed “Everything But Marriage.”

This was too much for the knuckle-dragging Biblehumping community. They immediately started a petition drive — known as Referendum 71 — to overturn these special privileges for homosexuals. Most people didn’t think the group would get enough signatures to qualify for a ballot initiative. Even the usual rightwing suspects weren’t too gung ho about this.

But the group has squeaked by with barely enough signatures. Even a liberal state like Washington has a certain percentage of neckdrooling witch-hunters. So the “Everything But Marriage” benefits will be postponed until after the November election when the Spanish Inquisition initiative (presumably) gets defeated.

The one silver lining here is the creation of the popular new online game — Whack-A-Redneck™.

By law, when you sign a petition to put an initiative on the ballot, your name and address become public information if/when the petition gets enough signatures to qualify. So the opponents of Referendum 71 have created this website — WhoSigned.org — sort of a statewide directory of Washington’s most retarded rednecks. Dial-A-Bigot.

The names aren’t there yet, but they should appear any day now. At the moment everything is on hold: There’s a lawsuit to have Referendum 71 blocked, or at least delayed.

And there’s another lawsuit to prevent the petition-signers’ names and addresses from being published online (even though it’s already public information). Some people think bigots have a right to remain hidden under their rocks while they try to take away other people’s rights.