2012 Republican Party Platform: Even Worse Than You Thought

It’s bad enough to have Todd Akin’s retarded blubberings engraved in the Republican Party Platform of 2012.  Yes it’s 2012 and the Republican Party is still trying to turn the clock back to the 1950s.  Or is it the 1850s?

It’s even funnier to watch Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan trying to distance themselves from Todd Akin by pretending to be shocked and offended by his “legitimate rape” comment.  Other than having a better grasp of that birds and bees thingy, Ryan and Romney agree wholeheartedly with Todd Akin on what to do about them uppity womenfolk.  When they express outrage at Todd Akin’s outburst, what they’re really saying is “SSSHHHHH!!!  You weren’t supposed to say that ‘til AFTER the election, Dummy!!!”

But the Republican Party Platform gets even worse.  The ridiculous paranoia and hysteria over U.N. Agenda 21, black helicopters and globalist thugs — it’s not just for bone-stupid inbreds any more.  It’s right there in the 2012 Republican Party Platform.

Mass transit, environmental protection, sustainable growth:  They’re all part of a sinister United Nations plot to take over America and herd all of us into UN-approved housing centers.

The following resolution was added (quietly!) to the Republican Party Platform last January:

“The United Nations Agenda 21 is being covertly pushed into local communities throughout the United States of America through the International Council of Local Environmental Initiatives (ICLEI) through local ‘sustainable development’ policies such as Smart Growth, Wildlands Project, Resilient Cities, Regional Visioning Projects, and other ‘Green’ or ‘Alternative’ projects.

The Republican National Committee recognizes the destructive and insidious nature of United Nations Agenda 21 and hereby exposes to the public and public policy makers the dangerous intent of the plan.”

What the Hail is that there Smart Growth and Resilient Cities mumbo jumbo???  That does it, Ahm gittin’ mah gun.

Mitt Romney Sucks Up to the “Black Helicopter!” Inbreds

Mitt Romney has been cozying up to one rightwing fringe group after another.  Biblehumpers, chickenhawks, people who want to turn the United States into an oligarchy — Check.  And now he’s finally connecting with the “Agenda 21” “Black Helicopters” crowd.

Rightwing demagogues have spent years manufacturing paranoia about the U.N.  Black helicopters will land in YOUR yard, and U.N. thugs will get out and force YOU, at gunpoint, to leave your home and be transferred to a new assigned location (Agenda 21).  The U.N. Arms Trade Treaty will confiscate every gun in America.  (I thought that was Obama’s plan, not the UN’s.  Can’t they get it straight?)  And under the U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child, international goons will barge into YOUR home (your new U.N.-assigned one) and tell you how to raise your children.

Unfortunately, for every shameless demagogue fanning the flames, there are legions of dumber-than-dirt bone-stupid dildos who fall for this manufactured hysteria.

At a town hall meeting in Ohio earlier today, an audience member asked Romney about the usual U.N. conspiracy theories.  Romney, undoubtedly thinking “OK, I’ve got a live one here,” responded:

“Turning to the United Nations to tell us how to raise our kids, or whether we can have the Second Amendment rights that our Constitution gave us, I mean, that is the wrong way to go, right? Do not cede sovereignty.”

So now the “Agenda 21” wackjobs are in Romney’s pocket.  They probably were anyway.