Tar Sands, Copper Mining vs. The Environment

Isn’t this great, having so many millions of unemployed Americans? No, not for us, of course. But for the Oligarchy, the one percent of the population that owns and controls virtually everything, unemployed desperate people are a gold mine.

If you’re a one-percenter and you have a new profit-making venture that threatens public safety or the environment, all you have to do is yell out “This Will Create Jobs! JOBS!!!”

Immediately, millions of frantic out-of-work people will be clamoring to get those commie treehugging safety regulations out of your way, so you can get right out there and start wrecking the environment and “creating jobs.”

One current example is the tar sands project in Utah. There’s a sticky tar-like substance under the soil of eastern Utah, in the Uinta Basin. This tar could provide a huge new source of petroleum. And we just happen to be in the middle of an energy crisis (as usual) and a shitty economy. How conveeenient.

Unfortunately a bunch of bears, elk and bison have the nerve to be living above this tar, and they’re in the way. In case there’s any question of priorities, the answer is in the Bible. Who could ever forget that stirring passage where Jesus said “Get those fuckin’ filthy animals out of there and start digging for tar. NOW, Asshole!”

In Minnesota, increased copper mining is a threat to the local water quality, and this could jeopardize the state’s famous wild rice farms. The threatened land — and wild rice too, for that matter — is sacred to local Indian tribes. The water projects coordinator for the Fond du Lac Band of Lake Superior Chippewa said:

“It is sacred. It is a gift from the Creator. It is central to Ojibwe cultural identity. The cultural significance can't be overstated.”

Now now, before you start getting all warm and fuzzy about Indians and rice paddies, remember: “JOBS!”

Someday, we might actually learn something from the people of Bolivia and Ecuador about protecting nature.

Nah. It can’t happen here.