Exhibit A: JPMorgan Chase

JPMorgan Chase — among others — almost sent the global economy plunging off a cliff in 2008.  Apparently it was so much fun, they want to do it again.  Or to paraphrase Chubby Checker, come on let’s crash and burn again like we did four summers ago.

When a pampered trust-funded fratboy takes the keys to the family Mercedes and crashes it, he doesn’t want to be told he has to give back the keys.  Some of these fratboys grew up (chronologically anyway), became Wall Street CEOs and almost collapsed the world economy.  And they’ve fought tooth and nail against ANY attempts to rein in the reckless behavior that caused the 2008 Meltdown.

And they’ve instructed their prostitutes in Congress to brainwash the public.  The 2008 meltdown was caused by too many government regulations.  This is just an excuse for Obama to take over your friendly neighborhood bank.  Etc.

And now JPMorgan Chase has kindly demonstrated exactly WHY we need to curtail Wall Street’s most reckless behavior.  Junior can have the keys to the family car — with certain stipulations — IF and only if he can clearly demonstrate that he’s learned how to drive.

As we all know by now, JPMorgan Chase lost $2 billion in a “trading blunder” which would have been prevented with the proper regulations.  Dodd-Frank is a start but it doesn’t go far enough.

Senator Carl Levin said JPMorgan Chase’s $2 billion “accident” was:

“…the latest evidence that what banks call 'hedges' are often risky bets that so-called 'too big to fail' banks have no business making.”

One of Wall Street’s favorite soundbites is that banking regulations would be too costly and the banks would have to pass on those extra expenses to the consumer.  Aw, isn’t that just the sweetest thing?  We all know how warm and fuzzy the big banks feel toward their customers.

In response to the above line of shit (and anyone gullible enough to swallow it), Barney Frank pointed out that JPMorgan’s $2 billion spasm cost them “five times the amount they claim financial regulation is costing them.”

He also said:

“The argument that financial institutions do not need the new rules to help them avoid the irresponsible actions that led to the crisis of 2008 is at least $2 billion harder to make today.”

The Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) will be investigating JPMorgan’s $2 billion “oops I crapped my pants” moment.  Don’t hold your breath waiting for JPMorgan executives to start getting mass buttfucked by their fellow inmates at Rikers Island.

But it’s a nice gesture on the part of the SEC.