America’s Two Most Powerful Special Interest Groups: Postal Workers and Indians

Overpaid teachers and firefighters aren’t the only drain on the U.S. Treasury. Congress is finally getting ready to crack down on another huge burden on taxpayers: those overpaid underworked pampered postal workers.

What do they do anyway, to earn those gigantic paychecks? Most of them live in gated communities with a pool in every backyard and two or three Ferraris in every driveway. And on top of all this luxury, postal workers just got a 3.5% pay raise.

Finally, Darrell Issa, America’s number one private dick (the operative word is dick) is going to do what he does best. He tore into those overpaid bureaucrats with:

“The Postal Service must show Congress and the American people that it can pay its own way, because the numbers do not seem to add up.”

And now on to the other special interest group. You probably don’t know this — especially if you’ve been to an Indian Reservation lately — but American Indians are the most protected pampered special interest group in the country. Hmmm, come to think of it, every time they scream “Waaaahhh, they took our land” — they get another handout. OK, we’re onto your little scam. Enough already!

Finally, Fox News correspondent John Stossel has brought this outrageous scandal to our attention:

“Why is there a Bureau of Indian Affairs? There is no Bureau of Puerto Rican Affairs or Black Affairs or Irish Affairs. And no group in America has been more helped by the government than the American Indians, because we have the treaties, we stole their land. But 200 years later, no group does worse.”

It sounds sort of like Jerry Seinfeld’s “Why do they call it Ovaltine?” monologue. And that’s the thing. With so many simpleminded rightwing dickwads running loose, it’s getting harder and harder to tell whether it’s a Daily Show/SNL skit or the real thing.