Global Warming and National Security

For conservatives, everything has to be Simple. Loud and Clear. They don’t want none of that there ambiguity or shades of gray; and none of that fuzzy liberal whimpering about “two sides to every issue.” Everything needs to fit neatly and snugly into a box with a label on it: Good. Bad. Black. White. Up. Down.

Unfortunately for the Wingtard Community, two of their favorite mantras — “National Security!” and “global warming is a myth” — have just had a fiery head-on collision.

That background noise you hear is the sound of millions of knuckledraggers simultaneously wailing “ooooohhhhh, my head hurts.”

According to this report, global warming is expected to make these problems even worse: humanitarian disasters, illegal immigration, and precarious governments being destabilized and overthrown. And all of these problems will affect America’s national security.

In answer to the thundering rightwing question “who’s the F#!$%&#!$# moonbat?” — this report was prepared by Tom Fingar, Deputy Director of National Intelligence for Analysis. He said:

“We judge that the most significant impact for the United States will be indirect and result from climate-driven effects on many other countries and their potential to seriously affect U.S. national security interests.”

This is part of a series of reports, which have been prepared by the top analysts of all sixteen American spy agencies.

Sorry Rightwads, back to the drawing board.

cross-posted at Bring It On!