U.S. Senate In Session during Memorial Day Weekend

Whoa! Is this dedication, or what? So much for all those stereotypes about lazy sleazy politicians.

Unlike most Americans who spend Memorial Day lolling around on the beach or in the backyard, the hardworking members of the U.S. Senate will be working all through this three-day weekend.

Well, actually, they won’t be working. In fact most senators won’t even be in the Senate during this long weekend. But make no mistake, the Senate is In Session.

The Senate will be in pro forma session. No work will be conducted, but this technicality allows Wall Street’s prostitutes to prevent Elizabeth Warren from being appointed as head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. President Obama was planning to use the recess appointment to appoint Warren. But now he can’t, since the Senate isn’t in recess. You know, since the Senate is in session. Well, they’re not really in session, but they’re [wink] “in session.” Or something.

I think the Senate Majority Leader should tell the Senate “Hey, we’re either in session or we’re not. Either we’re all here, conducting business all weekend, or the Senate is Not In Session. Pick one.”

But what do I know?

And now, get ready for Citizens United on steroids. Corporations are people — the Sequel.

A federal judge has expanded the scope of the Citizens United decision. (I didn’t know it had any room to expand even further.) The Citizens United ruling only applies to independent “third party” political organizations, not political candidates themselves.

U.S. District Judge James Cacheris, who made the Son of Citizens United ruling, said:

“For better or worse, Citizens United held that there is no distinction between an individual and a corporation with respect to political speech. Thus, if an individual can make direct contributions within the law's limits, a corporation cannot be banned from doing the same thing.”

All righty then — open the floodgates. And you thought they were already open.

Senator Charles Grassley: “We Don’t Have None of Them Chineese People Here in Iowa”

Senate Republicans are gearing up to do the only thing they’re capable of doing: blocking, obstructing, standing there holding their breath with their arms crossed and their lower lips thrust out.

They’re planning to filibuster Obama’s nomination of Goodwin Liu to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit. Six years ago Liu wrote in an editorial that conservative interest groups use the terms “free enterprise,” “private ownership of property,” and “limited government” as code words for getting rid of environmental and worker safety regulations. Nooo!!!

That blasphemous statement caused Sen. Charles Grasssley (R—Redneck) to get his panties in a twist:

“Does Liu think we’re the communist-run China? That the government runs everything? That’s how out of place this guy is when he talks about “free enterprise,” “private ownership of property,” and “limited government” being something somehow bad, but if you get government more involved, like they do in China, it’s somehow a better place.” [re-adjusts panties]

In 2005, one of Grassley’s other personalities said it’s unconstitutional to filibuster a judicial nominee. That particular Grassley personality has not been seen since 2008.

Not that it’ll make any difference, but Goodwin Liu — a University of California law professor — can probably think circles and figure eights around the entire gang of corporate prostitutes who are filibustering his appointment.

Oh well, when there’s a giant slab of shit blocking the road, you might have to take a detour around it. For President Obama, this probably means more and more executive orders and recess appointments.

Elizabeth Warren, for example, will probably have to be put in charge of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau via recess appointment. Wall Street’s Republican prostitutes have been instructed by their johns to filibuster every nominee to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

House Democrats have urged Obama to appoint Warren via recess appointment, saying in a letter: “Regretfully, Republicans in the Senate have now made it clear that they oppose reform.”