Electrodes Gonzales Worried About “Image Problem”

This probably sounds like a skit from Saturday Night Live or The Daily Show, but it’s an actual news item. Abu Gonzales is concerned about his “image problem.” OOPS, hope you didn’t just spew your drink all over your keyboard.

Image problem?!?!?!?!?!? WTF? This is the drooling idiot who said the Geneva Convention is “quaint and outdated.” It’s also the same twisted sickfuck who said an interrogation technique is not torture as long as it doesn’t result in “organ failure.” Then there's the firing of those U.S. attorneys who weren’t quite gung ho enough about the Bush agenda, and his perjured testimony before Congress… (If his memory is one tenth as bad as he's pretending, he needs to be transported to an assisted living facility ASAP.)

And the solution to all these scandals is to fix his image problem??? Trying to fix Torquemada Gonzales’ “image problem” is like trying to clean the world's filthiest outhouse by spraying it with an air freshener.

Alberto Gonzales is probably the only person in the world who could make us long for the good old days when John Ashcroft was attorney general. Gonzales’ response to all the uproar over his scandals: “These allegations have been troubling to hear.”

Sen. Charles E. Schumer, D-N.Y., cut through all the bullshit by saying: “There are probably only two people on Earth who think the attorney general ought to stay: Alberto Gonzales and President Bush. As long as he’s in charge, the Justice Department, the rule of law and America will suffer.”

We need to remove this malignant polyp from the Justice Department.