Our New Improved Health Insurance Industry

Just imagine that throughout your life, you’ve been known as the most ruthless cutthroat sleazy backstabbing gouging son of a bitch in town. Every time your name gets mentioned, it’s followed by “watch your back!” and “that F#!$%# $%!#&$#!!!” And now, after all these decades, you’re tired of being known as the town sleazebag (and other less printable names).

But the only way to change your terrible reputation is to change your behavior. Right?

Hell No! All you need is an image makeover.

Our HMOs provide the best medical coverage in the world, and yet for some unfathomable reason, they have an image problem. It’s all just a big misunderstanding. They haven’t been able to get their message across.

HMOs probably arouse more fury and resentment than anything this side of an AIG welfare recipient. If you saw the movie “As Good As It Gets,” you probably remember when Helen Hunt yelled out “those fuckin’ HMO bastards pieces of shit!” I saw the movie on our VCR, but I’ve heard that in theaters the audiences erupted into thundering applause when she said that. That was twelve years ago, and the health insurance industry’s reputation has gone steadily downhill since then.

What could possibly have caused such an image problem?

Aside from tailoring their soundbites, the HMOs’ biggest “change” has been to channel more of their bribe money to Democrats. Now that’s getting to the root of the problem.

cross-posted at Bring It On!