Harlem Would Be a Nice Place If It Weren’t For Those…

We've all heard about these self-absorbed assholes who move next door to a school and then complain about all those screaming kids. Or they move from the city out to the country and then complain about farm smells, wild animals invading their yards, etc.

Here's the newest variation: millionaires buying luxury condominiums in Harlem and then complaining because — well, because they're in Harlem. Hellooo!!!!

Did these spoiled trustfunders think they were moving into another sterile suburb that’s just begging for more Yuppies to move in??? Harlem has been the center of America’s Black culture since the early 1900s. It’s nice that the neighborhood is upgrading, but things are going too far when millionaires move in, start calling all the shots and generally steamroll their way over local traditions and residents.

The biggest controversy concerns the longtime ritual of African drumming that’s been taking place in a local park every Saturday for decades. Now that a luxury condo has gone up next to the park, some of the new residents are complaining about the noise.

“African drumming is wonderful for the first four hours, but after that, it’s pure, unadulterated noise. We couldn’t see straight anymore. It was like a huge boom box in the living room, the bedroom, the kitchen. You had no way to escape except to leave the apartment,” said new resident Beth Ross. So what are you waiting for Bitch? Leave already!!

James David Manning, a local pastor, said “They call this the new Harlem Renaissance — bringing in people who are able to pay for these properties, who push out people who can't, like schoolteachers and municipal workers. The community has been taken over by big business and banks, and deep-pocketed entrepreneurs. If we lose Harlem, we lose the flagship of African-American people worldwide.”

Is this just another variation on the theme of rich newcomers trampling on the rest of the community, or is this a kinder gentler version of ethnic cleansing?