The Ultra-Cool Hip New Heritage Foundation

When somebody mentions the Heritage Foundation, you probably picture a bunch of simple-minded dunderheads standing around wearing tri-corner hats and holding up misspelled signs – and the billionaires who are pulling their strings.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Somebody at the Heritage Foundation has finally figured out that a bunch of old white bigots preaching to each other is not the path to a larger audience.  So they've come up with an online news site, the Daily Signal, which they hope will reach out to America's women, young people, lower-income and minority groups.  Millions of these people have never had a chance to understand and appreciate the sleek elegance of the Invisible Hand of the Marketplace.

And when these same people – who have been brainwashed by the liberal media – look inward and examine their own beliefs and values, they'll realize:  They shouldn't vote.  More than that – they don't WANT to vote until they're pulling in a 6-figure salary and have bought some property; and the more expensive, the better.  It's simply not right – in fact it's immoral – for a productive property owner to have his vote canceled out by some swarthy low-income renter who contributes absolutely NOTHING to this great nation.

When the Heritage Foundation succeeds in tapping into the psyches of these previously brainwashed youth, minorities and womenfolk, there will be millions of new converts to the Conservative Cause.

Once again, it's cool to be conservative.  Racism rocks, Man.

Health Care Rollout is a Total DISASTER

What did they expect?!?!?!  When one sixth of the economy gets taken over by the government — by a single website! — it’s going to FAIL.  Why couldn’t those socialist bureaucrats see this coming?  How long do we have to wait before this lurching careening monster can be stopped???

And no, it can’t be “fixed.”  Tweaking the law, tweaking the website — forget it!  Repeal it NOW.  Repeal and replace!

After several weeks of being “up and running,” a whopping 123 people have signed up for this boondoggle.  Repeal and replace!

Yes, when Mitt Romney’s socialist Romneycare first rolled out in Massachusetts in January 2007, it was a nightmare.  An unmitigated disaster.

And who came up with this Communist idea in the first place?  The government can force its citizens to purchase health insurance?  What country is this, the Soviet Union???

But you can’t blame Mitt Romney for this.  He was only following orders from his fellow Communists at the Heritage Foundation.

Obamacare = Economic Freedom

Several weeks ago the Heritage Foundation released their annual Economic Freedom Index.  This report includes a list of the ten countries with the greatest degree of economic freedom.

America was Number Ten.

The Heritage Foundation didn’t mention this in their report, but in every one of those nine countries with more economic freedom than the United States — government bureaucrats are meddling in that country’s health care system.

Socialized medicine!  Comminism!  In Jim DeMint’s own words, this “is fundamentally inconsistent with liberty.”

Hong Kong (number one) has a universally run public health care system.

Australia (#3) and Canada (#6) both have that dreaded single-payer system that we’ve heard so many horror stories about.  Thousands of people have died on the emergency room floor because no doctor or nurse was available to help them.  You have to wait six months to get a doctor’s appointment, and that’s for emergencies.  Etc.  And yet these countries have two of the freest economies in the world.  Hmmm…

Singapore (#2) and Chile (#7) both have health care systems similar to Obamacare.  Citizens in both countries are required to pay into a health savings account.  If somebody’s medical expenses exceed what that person has in his/her account, government funding will make up the difference.

Needless to say, Chile and Singapore are both on the slippery slope to Socialism and the Death of Freedom; they just haven’t slid all the way down yet.

Six Years Ago Today, Freedom Died

April 12th, 2006 was the beginning of the end for America.  On that date, Mitt Romney —  the socialist governor of Massachusetts — staged a Government Takeover of the health care industry in Massachusetts.  For these past six years, meddling socialist bureaucrats have been barging in and inserting themselves between Massachusetts residents and their doctors.

Government Death Panels have been looming over our heads for the past several years, but we all need to remember:  These Death Panels got their start in Massachusetts six years ago today.

This is what we would expect from a simpering pinko like Mitt Romney.  But America’s betrayal runs much deeper.  We’ve found out that the Heritage Foundation — America’s last bastion of Freedom and Personal Responsibility — has stabbed us in the back.  The Heritage Foundation was actually in FAVOR of Mitt Romney’s coup d’état against the People of Massachusetts.

What?!?!?!?  If you love Freedom and hate Communism, you’ve just had the rug pulled out from under you.  Everything you know is wrong.

In a speech exactly six years ago, Mitt Romney said:

“Special thanks as well to the Heritage Foundation.  Two of its leading scholars are the ones who helped design and craft what we now call the Connector, which is the centerpiece of the insurance reform portion.”

NOOO!!!  Oh America, we hardly knew ye.

And those Communist vermin at the Heritage Foundation didn’t even have the balls to admit they were establishing Death Panels to control the people’s health care.  They had to hide behind flowery euphemisms like “patient-centered” and “consumer-based market.”

It’s COMMUNISM, you flag-burning bunch of pinkos!

And now, Heaven Forbid, Mitt “I Hate Freedom” Romney is running for President of the United States.  If you don’t want the rest of the country to turn into a giant festering Massachusetts, please vote for his opponent.

Newest Target for Job Layoffs: State Legislators

Who needs ‘em? None of them have been downsized or outsourced yet. But it’s just a matter of time. They serve no purpose whatsoever.

Passing “legislation?” Once upon a time, maybe. Lately our “legislators” have turned into secretaries taking dictation from their corporate donors. There’s nothing new about this, but the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) is the most blatant example yet. (Here’s another link.)

ALEC has been around since the 1970s. It was founded by the same oligarchs who brought us the Heritage Foundation. In the organization’s own words, ALEC is “a policy making program that unites members of the public and private sectors in a dynamic partnership.”

Moving past the bland corporate-speak, what these thugs are actually doing is writing boilerplate legislation on behalf of the country’s most powerful industries. And then they, uh, “suggest” to state legislators that it would be really nice if these laws could be passed and nobody gets hurt.

In the past few months, red states have been simultaneously cranking out jillions of new cookie-cutter laws cracking down on unions, immigrants, “voter fraud,” and attempting to privatize education (as well as every other public service that actually benefits real people). The same assembly line is also spitting out legislative end runs around “Obamacare,” renewable energy and environmental protections.

As the two linked articles indicate, the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) is the source of most (if not all) of these laws. So again, what do we need these cardboard cutout “legislators” for? Why don’t we just cut to the chase, eliminate all of these overpaid, over-perked and taxpayer-financed typists and file clerks, and ALEC could simply announce their newest edicts.

Like every other powerful and secretive organization, the American Legislative Exchange Council can get a little, uh, testy when members of the lowly public start coming around and asking questions.

Wisconsin state rep. Mark Pocan was kicked out of an ALEC conference in New Orleans, even though he’s a dues-paying member of ALEC and had received an invitation.

And two Think Progress reporters were forcibly removed from the same ALEC conference by ALEC security guards.

“The Pentagon’s Worst Nightmare”

That’s the title of this article.

Yesterday’s signing of the debt ceiling deal raises the possibility of budget cuts to the Pentagon. You can only squeeze so much blood out of those whiny Social Security recipients and those lazy parasites (9.2% of the population!) who refuse to work.

Fewer tax dollars for the Pentagon’s multi-trillion-dollar budget? As they said at the Heritage Foundation, “It’s chaos!”

A spokesman for the Center for a New American Security said:

“This is the Pentagon’s worst nightmare.”

It’s gonna be scary all right. No more $800,000 toilet seats or $70,000 hammers? But we’ll still be able to invade any tinpot third world cesspool any time we want, for any reason.

Won’t We??!?!?!?

What will happen to American Exceptionalism??? We can never ever allow the sun to set on the American Empire. There are American military bases in dozens of countries all over the world. Those people NEED us.

If you’re scared shitless of a weakened America being invaded by hordes of brown savages, you’re not alone. Thomas Donnelly of the American Enterprise Institute feels your pain. He says cutting the defense budget is a terrible idea:

“…unless you can promise that there will be nothing but peace, love, and tie-dye for the next 12 years…Do you want to share the world with the Chinese or with nuclear-armed Iran? The only thing worse than Americans running the world is someone else running the world.”

Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson: “Thank God We Rigged the State Supreme Court Election”

Ron Johnson (R—Befuddled) is Wisconsin’s newest senator. Wisconsin voters actually chose this pathetic excuse for a retard over Russ Feingold last November?!?!?!?!?!

Johnson spoke to a Heritage Foundation audience yesterday (talk about birds of a feather). He told them that when he thought JoAnne Kloppenburg had defeated David Prosser — i.e. before they found those 14,000 “missing” Republican votes:

“I was pretty depressed. That was depressing. The signal that that would have sent, the amount of energy that would have provided to public sector unions, the bosses and just to the electorate in general I think would have been terrible for the nation, truthfully.”

The vote count hasn’t been completed yet, and there’s an investigation underway (supposedly). But that didn’t stop Johnson from spewing out:

“It was a squeaker but we won and the polling results I'd seen didn't indicate that we were going to win. So from my standpoint that was a huge victory and it has far greater implications beyond the state of Wisconsin.”

He also talked about the “new class warfare” of “public sector vs. private sector.”

And he wins this year’s Unclear on the Concept Award for pointing out that government employees outnumber manufacturing employees by almost two to one.

[sigh]

Earth to Stupid: Maybe that’s because YOUR party sabotaged the economy and destroyed millions of jobs. DUUUHHH!!!

He also trotted out the Right’s favorite urban legends about death threats against Wisconsin Republicans, and pro-union demonstrations being full of SEIU thugs who intimidated everybody. And — of course! — these threats and assaults are not being reported by the liberal media.

Riiight. Union thugs are wreaking havoc in Wisconsin and the corporate-owned media isn’t reporting it.

Asshole!

Mitt Romney: COMMUNIST

Fellow Freedom-Loving Americans, we can no longer blame Barack Hussein Obama for the death of our great nation. You won’t believe where the Kenyan Muslim got most of his ideas for socialized medicine.

Would you believe, Mitt Romney. That’s right, Mitt Mao Stalin Romney is the real culprit here.

In the early 1990s, the Heritage Foundation came up with the idea of requiring everybody to purchase health insurance. They liked this “market based” idea much better than the Nanny State approach of requiring employers to provide health coverage or — the worst possibility of all — having those dreaded government bureaucrats provide health insurance.

This “market oriented” individual mandate was the cornerstone of Republican counter-proposals to “Clinton Care” in 1993-94.

In 2004 the Governor of Massachusetts — that would be Mitt Romney — followed through with the Heritage Foundation’s advice. And in 2006 Governor Romney signed the law requiring Massachusetts residents to have health insurance.

The author of this article — Brad DeLong — says:

“Having conquered Massachusetts, RomneyCare is now the law of the land. But how did Republican RomneyCare become Democratic ObamaCare?”

Don’t hold your breath waiting for the rightwing talking heads to start asking these questions. That would require too much (“ugh!”) thinking for their dimwitted listeners.

And now for today’s Bible passage: “Death to all Democrats who voted for health care reform!!!”

Yes, the Far Right’s favorite minister is spewing again. These Holy words of wisdom came from Orange Country Pastor Wiley Drake. Wiley Drake has previously prayed for The Lord to kill President Obama.

Hallelujah! Feel the Love!!!

Heritage Foundation: “Rape is Good”

If you visit liberal/”alternative” news sites or blogs, you probably know about the Halliburton/KBR employee who was gang raped in Iraq by some of her coworkers. (You didn’t find out about it from the mainstream “media” since they’ve been too busy with the Balloon Boy and the usual celebutante drivel.)

This rape victim’s employment contract had a clause which prohibited her from taking any legal action against her employer in the event she was raped. Senator Al Franken proposed an amendment that would prohibit the Pentagon from doing business with any company that requires female employees to sign one of these “I promise not to squeal or sue my employer if I get raped by my coworkers” agreements.

Thirty (30) senators voted AGAINST this amendment. Yes of course they were all Republicans. You had to ask?

Here is a list of the Thirty Pieces of Shit — those pathetic pitiful little dickwads who think rape in the defense of Halliburton is no vice. (Sorry, Barry G.)

And the ultra-rightwing Heritage Foundation thinks Al Franken’s amendment is just the usual liberal whining; just a payoff to trial lawyers and those unscrupulous employees who file frivolous lawsuits against their employers.

In a related story, the Republican leadership is trying to attract some normal people — i.e. people who walk upright, breathe through their noses and have IQs above freezing — into the GOP. But they aren’t sure how to accomplish this, what with all the bookburning knuckledragging sickfucks who dominate the party (see above).