Property Rights vs. Keeping Them Icky Brown People Out

Cognitive Dissonance is that uneasy feeling you get when you have two deeply-held beliefs that conflict with each other.

Tens of millions of Americans will reflexively yell out “Property Rights!” whenever an endangered species needs to be protected or a business owner has to comply with safety regulations. And a lot of these same people also think illegal immigration is the root of all of America’s problems, and the government needs to do whatever it takes to keep THEM out. Mass searches and deportations, building a huge fence along the U.S.-Mexican border — whatever it takes to keep those slimy ethnic creatures out of our country — do it!

Here comes the cognitive dissonance. This could be a wedge that splits conservatives into two bitterly divided camps.

The Homeland Security Department wants to complete 370 miles of border fencing by the end of 2008. A lot of property owners in Texas and Arizona don’t want this fence running through their property. And Homeland Security is threatening to confiscate the property of any landowner who doesn’t cooperate.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff said "vee can do ziss zee easy vay or zee hard vay The door is still open to talk, but it's not open for endless talk.”

Juan Salinas, the county judge of Hidalgo County, Texas, said: "I tell you, on this one issue, the Farm Bureau, the United Farm Workers, Democrats and Republicans, white, black, brown, everybody is against the border fence. It just doesn't make sense. We've been trying to talk to them about using other ways. It's a disappointment that, again, the Department of Homeland Security is not listening to local taxpayers.”

Local people are opposed to the fence for cultural, economic and environmental reasons. The Rio Grande is the only source of fresh water for a lot of ranchers and this fence would cut off their access to it. And the local economies depend on cross-border traffic. It doesn’t just flow one way — many Americans do volunteer work south of the border and lots of extended families live on both sides of the border. Twenty years ago we were urging the Soviet Union to tear down the Berlin Wall; now we’re planning to build one.

OK, Righties — which is it? Which side are you on — the KGB Homeland Security Department, or the “property rights” and “local autonomy” that you’re always screaming about? Well???

cross-posted at Bring It On!

George W. Bush: “Terrorists? What Terrorists??”

It’s so weird, almost scary, when a person just snaps. When you see someone’s entire personality do a Big 180, it really stops you cold.

Imagine the double take you'd be doing if the most uptight, sanctimonious person you ever met was standing there with a big fat joint in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other, and yelling out “Heeyyy, if it feels good, DO IT! Yeeeaahhh!!!!”

Or picture some simpleminded loudmouth who drinks beer by the case and only talks about football and getting parts for his truck. Only here he is, sipping white wine and speaking softly about the differences between Emmanuel Kant and Arthur Schopenhauer.

Well folks, the President of the United States has just snapped. Seriously, he has SNAPPED!!!

For over six years, the sign of our times has been FEAR. Paranoia! The Enemy! Terrorists! Spy on your neighbors and report any suspicious activity. Keep an eye on that swarthy person over there. If we don’t fight them over there they’ll follow us over here!

But now — everything you know is wrong. Left is right and up is down. Our Wartime President isn't worried about terrorists any more. Nevermind.

Oh, don’t misunderstand. We’re still planning to attack Iran (and Syria and Venezuela if they don’t watch out) and we’ll still be in Iraq when our great-grandchildren have died of old age. The Patriot Act is bigger and better than ever. Habeas Corpus is still dead. We still need to torture prisoners because, well, you know the drill — there might be a ticking time bomb and yada yada yada. And we still want to know what books you're reading and every website you’ve ever visited and who that e-mail was from.

But: Bush wants to slash counterterrorism funding for police departments, firefighters and rescue departments across the country. He wants the funding reduced by more than half. Heellllooo!?!?!?!?!!! Earth to Dumbya!!

Homeland Security wants to provide $3.2 billion to states and cities for protection against terrorism. Bush wants to reduce that amount to $1.4 billion. Programs for port security and transit security are being eliminated completely. WTF??? Chimpy’s drinking problem must be getting worse.

Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) said “This budget proposal is dead on arrival. This administration runs around the country scaring people and then when it comes to putting their money where their mouth is, they say ’sorry, the bank is closed.’ California’s ports carry over 47 percent of all goods imported into the United States. A terrorist attack at any of California’s ports could shut down our nation’s port system and result in a mind-boggling loss for our nation’s economy.”

Charles Schumer (D-NY) said: “To zero out essential Homeland Security programs which have more to do with protecting Americans and fighting the war on terror than much of the money spent in Iraq shows how warped and out of touch this administration’s priorities are.”

Peter King (R-NY) said Bush’s plan “goes totally in the wrong direction. This would be a very grave mistake, and I will do all I can to stop it.”

And even Bush’s Bitch said he would “urge the administration to reconsider this wrong-headed strategy.”


cross-posted at Bring It On!