Jan Brewer: “___________________________”

In the early ‘70s there was a book titled “The Wit and Wisdom of Spiro Agnew.” Every page was blank.

For the updated version, check out the first YouTube video at this link. It’s about a minute long. It sounds more like a Cheech and Chong skit. While Jan Brewer is bragging about her accomplishments, she makes several long excruciating pauses. I was half expecting to hear Tommy Chong’s voice saying “uhh, wow man, I forgot where I was, uhh…”

Jeez, if you can’t remember your talking points, just write them on your hand. Other people have already done it.

In the other video, she refuses to confirm or deny her earlier statements that illegal immigrants are beheading people out in the desert. Uh oh! But at least they aren’t homosexual immigrants with pre-existing conditions.

In that same video, she’s debating with her opponent for governor. He’s explaining to her that if tourists are staying away from Arizona, it’s because of the scary rumors she’s spreading, and not because of the boycott.

Whatever she was smoking right before her speech — I want some of that!

Arizona Immigration Law: A Gold Mine for Private Prisons

Whatever Arizona Governor Jan Brewer says, she likes the new immigration law for other reasons besides safety and border security. She’s closely allied with the Prison Industrial Complex.

Two of her top advisers have close ties to Corrections Corporation of America (CCA). And CCA holds the federal contract for housing detainees in Arizona. When they start rounding up all them swarthy Meskins — the new law takes effect this Thursday — Corrections Corporation of America will get even wealthier.

Hey, as long as America locks up more people than any other country in the world, we might as well make a profit from it, right? Or to paraphrase a popular poster from the late ‘60s: Prison is good business; invest your son.

Now who says Republicans don’t have any original ideas, any solutions? Al Franken comes to their defense. They do too have an agenda: They’re trying to bring the economy to a standstill because they don’t want people to get jobs before the election.

See??? The Republicans really DO stand for something.

Arizona Governor: “How Many Meskins Does It Take To…”

On Friday, Arizona Governor Jan Brewer said most illegal immigrants in Arizona are transporting drugs over the border.

She forgot to mention that they all have quick tempers, and each and every one of them is carrying a switch-blade. And lazy! Hell, lazy doesn’t even begin to describe them. All they do is lie around all day with that stupid sombrero pulled down over their faces. And if you ask any of them to get up and do some work, he’ll just peek out from under his sombrero and say “Mañana” and go back to sleep.

T.J. Bonner, president of the union that represents border patrol agents, refuted her, saying most illegal immigrants coming over the border are not carrying drugs. “The majority of people continue to come across in search of work, not to smuggle drugs.”

A history professor at the University of Arizona, Oscar Martinez, said:

“Unless Gov. Brewer can provide hard data to substantiate her claim that most undocumented people crossing into Arizona are 'drug mules,' she must retract such an outrageous statement. If she has no data and is just mouthing off for political reasons, as I believe she is doing, then she must apologize to the people of Arizona for lying to them so blatantly.”

The state attorney general, Terry Goddard, said Jan Brewer “does not understand the difference between illegal immigration and the organized criminals who are members of the violent drug cartels who pose a very a real danger.”

Jan Brewer is up for re-election this November. But don’t worry, she’ll be fine. If she loses, she has another job offer.