Republicans to 9/11 First Responders: “Go Fuck Yourselves!”

If you risked your life saving people during the tragedy and chaos of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the GOP has a message for you: “You’ve outlived your usefulness. You’re a burden. We don’t need you any more. Die!”

The September 11 Health and Compensation Act — which would guarantee health care to ailing 9/11 first responders — has met the wrath of the Party of Duuhh.

Representatives Mike Rogers (R—Marie Antoinette), John Shimkus (R—Dildo), Ed Whitfield (R—Inbred) and Phil Gingrey (R—Redneck) all pretty much told 9/11 first responders to get up off their dead asses and quit whining about imaginary ailments.

Among other things, these assholes want first responders — in order to qualify for their health coverage — to be required to appear before Congress every year and grovel for their benefits. Sing for your supper, kind of.

William Romaka, Sergeant-At-Arms of the Uniformed Firefighters Association, said this would punish the people who are ill or disabled because of their heroic acts on September 11th. “Coming back and forth every year is not easy for people who are ill.”

Jim Slevin, the organization’s Vice President, said: “They always say they support us, but it's all about cost.”

Republicans are also determined that no abortions will be covered under this bill. [sigh] Of course.

And speaking of emergencies and first responders, let’s congratulate British Petroleum on their incredibly rapid response to a situation. No no, not their response to the oil spill. [smirk] [pshaw]

But when the call goes out — “Fire in the Public Relations Department!” — BP’s lobbyists and PR hacks are on it like stink on shit. British Petroleum’s PR first responders have already placed full-page ads in the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal and USA Today.

“Mistakes Were Made.” “We Care.”

Go fuck yourselves.