CIA: “I’ve Stopped Beating My Wife,” and Other News

For years the CIA has refused to admit that they were “rendering” terrorist suspects to foreign prisons so they could be tortured. They still haven’t admitted to this practice. “Moi???” “America Does Not Torture!”

But now they promise not to do it any more.

And speaking of rendering and torturing — slight change of direction here; warning: harsh and lewd language — some people really do deserve the most gruesome tortures imaginable. The following news item involves a tragedy (the result of a heinous crime), a hero and several villains. Sometimes life really does imitate the most over-the-top action movies where everything is good versus evil, black and white.

Marcus Luttrell is a highly decorated Navy SEAL — the lone survivor of a Taliban attack — now back home in Texas. On the night of April 1st he heard a gunshot, looked outside and saw his Yellow Labrador dead in his yard. He said: “I could tell she tried to get away because there was a blood trail. When I saw she was dead, the only thing that popped into my head was, 'I’ve got to take these guys out.’”

If only.

Luttrell saw a suspicious car parked nearby, crawled under a fence and snuck up behind the occupants with his gun drawn. They never did see him, or didn’t let on anyway; and a few minutes later they drove away. Luttrell got into his pickup and took after them. He couldn’t keep up with them, but he was on the phone with 911 and the police caught up with them. He says he told the 911 operator: “I told them, 'You need to get somebody out here because if I catch them I'm going to kill them.’”

Two of the suspects were charged with animal cruelty; the driver was charged with driving without a license. (And not speeding??? Or fleeing to evade capture???)

Michael John Edmonds II, 21, and Alfonzo Hernandez, 24, both of New Waverly, TX, are facing felony charges that could result in up to six months in jail. That’s nowhere near enough, but it’s still plenty of time for their fellow inmates to take corrective action. While their buttholes are getting reamed out to a size eleventy-seven, they still need to be grateful that Luttrell didn’t kill them slo-o-o-o-owly when he had the chance.

If those two sickfucks don’t get jail time, hopefully some other residents of New Waverly, TX will know who they are and where they live, and proceed accordingly. The douchebags’ names again are Michael John Edmonds II and Alfonzo Hernandez. Calling all New Waverly vigilantes — Do The Right Thing.

cross-posted at Bring It On!