Rick Perry vs. Barack Obama: The Culture Wars

Might as well cut to the chase. Rick Perry IS the Republican candidate for the White House. Tim Pawlenty has already thrown in the towel, and the rest of the wannabes will be dropping like flies. Why go through the motions — and millions of dollars — of campaigning in the primaries? It’s a done deal.

The Perry vs. Obama campaign will bring out America’s Culture Wars like you’ve never seen; never even imagined. They’ve been simmering since the 1960s. They’ll be brought to a full boil — a volcano! — when Perry and Obama start slugging it out.

This Daily Beast article by Michael Tomasky hits the nail on the head. In addition to the economy and other issues:

“… an Obama-Perry race would be something else, too: a war between the two Americas, each side represented by its respective cultural standard-bearer, each side’s foot soldiers absolutely smoldering with contempt for everything the other guy stands for and indeed the way he looks.”

In case you still think Romney has a chance:

“Republicans don’t want a posh, well-spoken Yankee who works at a place with a name like Bain Capital. In their deepest souls, they want a Texas governor. They want a shit-kicker. And here, we circle back to culture.”

Since there’ll be inevitable comparisons between George W. Bush and Rick Perry, Bush:

“…represented Southern country clubs and Dodge Durangos and Browning bolt-actions and homes with no books in them.”

And now, get ready for Dumbya on steroids:

“Perry, on this scale, is chillingly Bush-like. I saw a clip the other day of him saluting—an off-screen soldier, perhaps, or a flag. It was a small thing. But he looked exactly like Bush. The chest pumped up with self-regard. The overly aggressive way he thrust his saluting hand out from his forehead. He even, I swear, was smirking. I shuddered all over again.”

And here’s how the red-staters see Obama:

“They look at him and see wine-and-cheese parties where people have jazz playing in the background and where talk turns to the merits and demerits of Jonathan Franzen, who drive Priuses (or is it Prii?) and buy espresso machines and live in homes with far too many books in them. And worse than that: for much of Red America, Dr. Frankenstein himself could not have stitched together a more perfect Other: urban, urbane, sophisticated, intellectual.”

We’re gonna be living in interesting times between now and November 2012.