PSSSSTT!!! X-Rated!! Naked Pictures of Mitt and Ann Romney!!!

Gotcha!  This was just an experiment to demonstrate what Internet traffic experts are saying:  Mitt Romney is sooo BOOOORRING that if “Mitt Romney” appears in a title, the surfing public will NOT click on the link.

Or to use the current vernacular among people who study this sort of thing — Mitt Romney is Traffic Poison.  In another article, the author talks about the Romney reader curse.

This is something subliminal in the public consciousness.  It has nothing to do with whether a person likes or dislikes Mitt Romney, or whether or not they like Obama better.

Buzzfeed conducted an expirement:  They ran two almost-identical articles about the early lives — childhood and young adulthood — of Barack Obama and Mitt Romney.  More than 130,000 people clicked on the Obama article.  Fewer than 20,000 clicked on the Romney article.

According to one theory, Mitt Romney is purposely staying under the radar.  You would too if you were more bland than a warm glass of day-old Pepsi and more slippery than a street covered with wet leaves.  He’s more boring than a 500-page insurance policy.  He’s taken every possible position on every issue.  Of course he doesn’t want you to notice him.  Look away.  Move along.  Nothing to see here.

If you’ve ever read Stephen King’s The Talisman, Mitt Romney is a real life Morgan Sloat.  Morgan Sloat was as evil, sleazy and underhanded as any of Stephen King’s villains.  And part of his success came from the fact that nobody could stand looking at him.  If you looked at him, you could tell by his body language, wicked facial expressions and twitches that you wanted absolutely NOTHING to do with this sleazebucket.

Morgan Sloat conned people left and right because they just sort of pretended to look at him while he was talking.  If they actually caught a glimpse of his face, they quickly looked away.  And they got taken.

Morgan Sloat is Mitt Romney.  When you see Mitt Romney on TV or on the Internet — LOOK at him!!!  Yes, it’s unpleasant, but force yourself.  LOOK at that robotic face.  LOOK into those soulless eyes.  LOOK at that fake smile and those mechanical movements.

If you LOOK at him — and listen to his meaningless soundbites that all contradict each other — then you WON’T vote for him.