Will the Republican Party Get a Divorce? (Say Yes!!!)

Colin Powell, Arlen Specter and other moderate Republicans — lose the Albatross! And get rid of your “I’m With Stupid” T-shirt while you’re at it. Stupid is holding you back, dragging you down.

Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney — get those limpwristed RINO pansies out of God’s Own Party! If you’re a Real Man who hates queers and furriners and wants Jesus to rule the world, you want NOTHING to do with those whiny moderates.

Yesterday Dickwad said: “If I had to choose in terms of being a Republican, I'd go with Rush Limbaugh. My take on it was Colin had already left the party. I didn't know he was still a Republican.”

Damn right! Come on, Colin, how many anti-abortion rallies have you been to in the past week? How many gay bashings? How many bookburnings? Didn’t think so! Pussy!

Shotgun Dick also dismissed the idea that the Republican Party has moved too far to the right. “Well, I don't buy that. We win elections when we have good solid conservative principles to run upon.” Right. How’d these last two elections work out for you?

And speaking of wacky news: the other day Mexico’s most vicious drug lord was complaining that there’s too much crime and violence.

No wait, that wasn’t it. Let’s see, it was…Oh, right. Here it is. Ready now? Pope Benedict warned that religion should not be misused for political manipulation.

[dropping jaw] [double take] [shocked silence] [speechlessness]