The Free Republic of Oklahoma

Who knows what this new nation will be called — West Taliban, Teabagistan, Aynrandland…

All that matters is, the good people of Oklahoma are going to be Free! Next stop — Liberty! Godfearing self-reliant Americans can only take so much before they rise up in rebellion and break free from their communist oppressors. Socialized medicine, a colored boy in the White House — Enough!

Some Oklahoma teatards and legislators are talking about creating a militia to fend off them mandates from that there federal gummint. Al Gerhart of Oklahoma City, head of the Oklahoma Constitutional Alliance, said:

“Is it scary? It sure is. But when do the states stop rolling over for the federal government?”

Uh, let’s see, maybe when these same bastions of self-reliance and bootstraps no longer need jillions of dollars in handouts from that wicked federal government they hate so much. As we all know — this has been posted on countless blogs and online news sites; Google it — the red states contribute a lot less money to (and siphon a lot more money from) the federal government than the blue states.

Along those same lines, those church-going family-values red states have much higher rates of divorce and teen pregnancy than those devil-worshiping blue states. But I digress…

As noted above, Al Gerhart is from Oklahoma City. And his biggest fear is the federal government??? I seem to remember that Oklahoma City actually had a tragic event awhile ago; something a lot more traumatic than a government mandate. Let’s see, what was it again? Uhh, it was about fifteen years ago, come to think of it the anniversary is coming up in a few days. Oh, now what was it? Oh well, it’ll come to me…

Oklahoma legislators who are in favor of this new teabirther militia include state Sen. Randy Brogdon (who’s also a candidate for governor) and state Rep. Charles Key. Birds of a feather.

With so many red states flaming away, you kinda have to feel sorry for Mississippi. For decades, no matter how low a state might rank in a certain category, it couldn’t be any lower than forty-ninth because Mississippi had fiftieth place locked up solid. Hence the popular expression “thank God for Mississippi.”

But Mississippi’s claim to fame might be in jeopardy. Texas is busy rewriting our history textbooks; future students will learn that Jesus walked across the Atlantic, followed closely by George Washington on the Mayflower, and together they drove the swarthy savages from God’s Country and established Freedom.

And the governor of Virginia is trying to pretend slavery never existed. So, what about poor ol' Mississippi? Is Mississippi going to just take this lying down?

Whoa! Not so fast there, Boy!!!