Republican Image Makeover, Part XVIII

No matter how much lipstick the GOP keeps putting on its pug-ugly face, it’s still too hideous for public viewing.  What’s the answer?  Why, more lipstick of course.  If Humpty Dumpty had another great fall, Republicans would yell “More Horses!  More Men!”

Behind the scenes, Republican legislators are more determined than ever to ban abortion, eliminate the safety net, break the backs of those commie labor unions and block everything President Obama tries to do.  But you’re not supposed to be looking at that.  Look over there at that big neon billboard, where Republican strategists are publicly asking “How can we reach out to more people?”  “Why do voters think we only care about rich people?” “How can we modernize our image?”

Nice try.  This newest installment of the Republican Image Makeover is brought to us by a spokesman for the American Enterprise Institute.  He says:

“Today, the top marginal tax rate is 40 percent, and inflation is 2 percent. Health-care spending and the debt have both risen by nearly 80 percent as a share of output. The average American is 37 years old.  Economics and demography require a reworking of the conservative policy portfolio. But center-right politicians in Washington keep offering same-old, same-old stale solutions.”

An article in the National Review said:

“They slavishly adhere to the economic program that Reagan developed to meet the challenges of the late 1970s and early 1980s, ignoring the fact that he largely overcame those challenges, and now we have new ones.”

These are all good points.  Try selling them to the teabaggers and corporate prostitutes who want to take “their” country back to 1850.

An editorial in Commentary Magazine proposed a five-step recovery program for the GOP:

“Focus on the economic concerns of working-and middle-class Americans;”
“Welcome rising immigrant groups;”
“Express and demonstrate a commitment to the common good;”
“Engage vital social issues forthrightly but in a manner that is aspirational rather than alienating;” and
“Harness their policy views to the findings of science.”

ROTFLMAO!!!  If they actually gave a flying fuck about the middle class, the common good, and science, they wouldn’t be Republicans.