This Is Our Chance: Bring America Home to Jesus!

Well, that damn Rapture keeps on postponing itself, but keep the faith. We haven’t been whisked up to Heaven yet, but this here is the next best thing. There'll be a gathering of us righteous, sanctimonious Godfearing folk in Tualatin, Oregon on February 23rd and 24th. We got us a Culture War to fight.

The entire Left Coast is nothing but a hellhole of pagans, homasexials and liberals. To the rescue! Godless Liberalism is the disease and we’re the cure. We gonna bring these sinners to Jesus! Praise The Lord!

We’ll have two glorious days away from the secular wickedness that’s destroying America. If you're the laughingstock of your neighborhood because you're the only one who handles snakes and burns books — don’t despair. There are millions of self-righteous little pricks just like you, and this will be your chance to mingle with some of them.

Discussion topics will include: Godlessness in America; the Homosexual Agenda; the frightening ulterior motives behind so-called “Hate Crimes” legislation; and how to mobilize the Christian vote.

Remember: America is a Christian Nation. This was the intention of God, and of our Founding Fathers who spoke through Him. God is demanding that we win the Culture War. (And you know what happens when He is displeased!) You MUST attend this important conference and learn God’s plan for YOU. Onward Christian Soldiers!