Biblehumpers Don’t Let Biblehumpers go to Starbucks

The Far Right has always hated Starbucks anyway.  Providing good pay and benefits to their employees, purchasing Fair Trade coffee from a bunch of swarthy peasants in third world countries — Starbucks is Wrong For America.

And now that same-sex marriage has been legalized by the Washington legislature, the inbreds are crawling out of the woodwork.  Starbucks — based in Seattle, and a longtime proponent of gay rights — is their newest scapegoat.

Pastor Steven Andrew, president of USA Christian Ministries, is urging all Christians to boycott Starbucks until that godless company sees the light, yells “Uncle!” and starts doing its fair share of gay bashing, as God intended.

Steven Andrew’s “reasoning” — not easy when you think the Earth is 6,000 years old — is that since 80% of Americans identify themselves as Christians, Starbucks’ business will fall by 80% if the company is boycotted by Christians.  oooookay.  Anyone who could be convinced by this dickwad to boycott Starbucks probably doesn’t drink coffee anyway.  Who needs coffee when you have snake venom?!?

Steven Andrew said:

“Starbucks is no longer fashionable. If your church still uses Starbucks, then your pastor is a friend of the world.  God calls those who oppose Him ‘haters of God.’  Starbucks can follow Satan if they want to…This boycott is important because God blesses those who obey Him and judges those who don’t obey Him.”

He refers to Starbucks coffee as “Satan Juice.”

Here’s a link to the USA Christian Ministries website.  You’ll laugh.  You’ll scream.  You’ll kick the computer.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go grab me another Cup o’ Sate.