Fred Thompson Hates America

Sorry Righties, your knight in shining armor has let you down. You've been had. The Right Wing has been so infatuated with Fred Thompson, he's become a walking talking Rorschach test. Millions of swooning wingnuts have just assumed that he shares their belief that human life is sacred from the point of conception to the moment of birth.

BWAAHAAHAAHAAHAA!

Thompson has always been personally opposed to abortion, but he believes this is a moral issue and not a legal matter. He stated this clearly several times in the mid-1990s. OUCH! And that’s not all. Thompson not only voted in favor of the McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform bill — he helped to write it. Take that, Wingers — your hero wants a bunch of big bloated government bureaucrats meddling in the free marketplace of ideas, REGULATING political speech.

Now, of course, Thompson is trying to backpedal and “restate” and “clarify” everything. He’ll use his Hollywood persona and Southern demeanor to smooth those ruffled feathers. But the truth is out. That swashbuckling hero was just an illusion. Rightwads — back to the drawing board.

The Pope: “Life is Sacred Until You're Born”

The Pope is touring Latin America. Right now he's in Brazil, lecturing on the sanctity of life. Well, certain stages of life anyway. In a country plagued by poverty and overpopulation, his top priority is making sure every fetus gets to be born.

Once they’ve been born, a lot of Brazilian children live their entire lives on the street. They make good scapegoats for the country’s problems, and thousands of these children have been tortured and murdered by death squads and corrupt police departments.

Aren’t these murders just as horrifying as abortion? To express his moral outrage at the torture and murder of these street children, the Pope said…let’s see, what did he say…hmmm…it's gotta be in here somewhere...uuhhh...this might take awhile...

More Trouble From South Dakota

Quick, call an exterminator. The South Dakota legislature has a major infestation of rightwingnuts. These malicious pests are doing what they do best: trying to make an end run around the will of the voters.

As you probably remember, last year the South Dakota legislature passed a law banning all abortions except when the mother’s life was in danger. By trying to turn the clock back to the Spanish Inquisition, the legislature begat this website. But the state’s voters redeemed themselves by signing a petition to have the anti-abortion law placed on the ballot. And the law was trounced by the voters last November.

And now the South Dakota legislature is back for another try. These Taliban wannabes are devoted followers of the Neurotic Creed: When you try something and it doesn’t work, keep trying the same thing over and over and over, and eventually you'll get the result you want.

The State Director of Planned Parenthood said “The people of this state told the government that they shouldn’t be involved in these intensely personal and very difficult private family issues.” She also pointed out that abortions would be reduced if these same lawmakers would support programs to prevent unwanted pregnancies.