FDA: High Fructose Corn Syrup Can NOT be Renamed to “Nature’s Wholesome Goodness”

In a stunning victory for public health over corporate money, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has stood up to the Corn Refiners Association.  The Corn Refiners Association — the manufacturers of high fructose corn syrup — have watched their product become less and less popular over the past few years.  I have no idea whether or not high fructose corn syrup is as toxic as everyone says.  But with so much smoke, there’s probably a fire in there somewhere.

In any case, seeing their product’s popularity spiraling downward and further downward, the Corn Refiners Association has done what any self-respecting manufacturer would do:  create a better product that the public would like to buy Give their unpopular item a new name so the public won’t know what they’re buying.  They wanted to change the name of High Fructose Corn Syrup to Corn Sugar.  Same shitty product with a wholesome new name.  Problem solved.

Thankfully the FDA shot down their request.  In the event that the FDA had approved this request, the Sugar Association was ready to file a lawsuit against the Corn Refiners Association for trying to con the public.  A lawyer for the Sugar Association said:

“What do con men do? They normally try to change their name. The FDA has thankfully stopped that.”

High Fructose Corn Syrup isn’t just a sweetener.  Almost anything you buy that’s in a can or a jar is apt to have HFCS in it.  Even “healthy” things.  Try finding a jar of wasabi or horseradish that doesn’t contain it.