White Punks On Dope!

Summer is approaching. While we’re all looking forward to those days at the beach and long evenings in the backyard, summer can be a dangerous time. If you're concerned about Family Values and the moral fiber of this great nation, you’re probably dreading the arrival of those outdoor rock and roll festivals.

Our young people should be studying, working, praying, trying to better themselves — not listening to the Devil’s Music, cavorting half-naked and moving their hips in ways God never intended.

And worst of all — the Drugs! Thousands of decadent no-accounts shooting LSD, snorting marijuana and God knows what else — it’s enough to make you pray that the Rapture will hurry up and get here.

Fortunately, a few redneck police departments (with lots of gung ho narcs helping them out) are getting ready to tackle this serious problem. And they have a potent new weapon: Cultural Profiling. Nail those F#$%&! hippies and throw the key away!

“Routine” traffic stops — or even a highway drug checkpoint disguised as a “safety check” — will be set up on the roads leading to and from these rock festivals. And these “routine” stops and “safety checks” will include drug-sniffing police dogs. There’ll also be lots of undercover cops and narcs inside the festivals themselves.

Thank God this is a high priority. Your tax dollars at work.

Last weekend, the 2008 Summer Camp Festival in Chillicothe, IL was attended by 13,000 rock fans. Narcs and cops swooped in and made twenty drug arrests for pot, LSD and ecstasy. The local police chief beamed: “I think a lot of it had to do with all of the agencies getting together before the event and really planning out our attack.”

Whew! The citizens of Illinois are safe — for now! — from those pot-crazed maniacs.

And in Habersham County, Georgia, a 24-hour highway checkpoint yielded 31 drug arrests (mostly marijuana of course). The value of the cars and other property seized was $82,000. Yeehaw! Git ‘er done!

OK, I admit it — Conservatives were right. I sure do love this here Limited Government.

cross-posted at Bring It On!