We Want OIL
Good news for the oil industry — years of bribery have finally paid off. Their coin-operated senators did just as they were told yesterday. Good news for everyone who wants to move up to that bigger, heavier SUV — go for it! Get that Biiggg One that gets .6 miles to the gallon. And good news for the previously depressed Senator Ted Stevens from Alaska. Maybe now he can pull in his lower lip and quit stamping his foot like an 8-year-old.
By a 51-49 vote, the Senate voted to allow the ANWR drilling amendment to be inserted into the 2007 budget bill. This way they can make an end run around the certain filibuster that would have prevented drilling in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge. With 55 Republicans in the Senate, there must have been at least four Republicans who displayed a — Gasp!! — conscience. (Warning: The Great Leader does not permit that. Report immediately for re-indoctrination.)
Tuesday’s guilty verdict against WorldCom’s former CEO might pave the way for further convictions of corporate sleazebags.
Prosecutors had no documents linking former CEO Bernard Ebbers to the multi-billion dollar fraud committed by WorldCom, and Ebbers “admitted” that he “had no clue” that his subordinates were carrying on like this. (What in the F$#&*% was he being paid a 7-figure salary for? To stare out the window?)
And yet he was convicted.
The senior pusbags at Enron have been planning the same “Huh?!? I didn’t know” defense; this offers greater hope for their convictions.
California’s former attorney general said in 2001 that he’d like to personally escort Kenneth Lay to his prison cell and introduce him to his 300-pound cellmate. Maybe he’ll get his wish.