Who Hijacked Our Country

Sunday, May 22, 2016

Exxon Hires Thugs to Intimidate State Attorneys General

Or maybe prostitutes would be more accurate.  Very, very expensive and experienced prostitutes.  The House Committee on Space, Science, and Technology has been instructed by its john — Exxon — to “investigate” (i.e. threaten, intimidate) the seventeen state attorneys general who have been looking into a possible fraud case against Exxon.  The congressional witch hunt investigation is being led by Committee Chairman Lamar Smith (R—Hands Around His Ankles).

As you know, Exxon’s internal memos have shown that the company has known for decades about the man-made causes of climate change.  Exxon kept this knowledge secret while pouring gazillions of dollars into climate denial think tanks, Astroturf groups and smear campaigns against politicians who disagreed with them.

The attorneys general from seventeen states — so far — have been looking into the contradictions between Exxon’s secret knowledge of human-caused climate change and their continued funding of climate change denial.  This could lead to a massive case of fraud — possibly even a violation of federal racketeering statutes — against Exxon.

Hence Exxon’s hiring of their congressional goons to intimidate the state attorneys general.  “Hey, the boss don’t want you guys stickin’ your nose where it don’t belong.  You wanna get hurt?”

A spokesperson for New York State’s Attorney General — one of the witnesses being intimidated by Exxon’s mob — said:

“Attorney General Schneiderman has opened a significant investigation into whether Exxon committed securities fraud, business fraud, and consumer fraud in New York and all across America.  It is remarkable that a do-nothing Congress that has refused to take any action on climate change is now attempting to disrupt this important investigation into potential corporate malfeasance.”

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Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Donald Trump is NOT a Billionaire. Estimated Net Worth: $200 Million

[ahem] Now, this is not certain.  But it’s based on lots of ongoing investigations by “reliable sources,” as the saying goes.  If these allegations are true, then THIS is why Donald Trump is refusing to release his tax returns.  It’s has nothing to do with Trump spewing out his usual arrogant “it’s none of your business!” 

And it isn’t because he’s trying to hide a few more jillion-dollar bank accounts in the Cayman Islands, as the conventional wisdom would have it.

Nope.  The swaggering multi-billionaire has no billions.  He inherited a billion dollars, and instead of parlaying it into his own $20 billion business empire — as he constantly brags — his billion dollar inheritance has dwindled to $200 million.

It’s like Steve Martin’s old joke about “How I converted $100,000 worth of real estate into $25 cash.”  Except in Trump’s case, it’s no joke.  Donald Trump is a fraud.  After decades of living a billionaire lifestyle — and an endless parade of business failures and bankruptcies — The Donald now has about 20% of his inheritance left.

And this is why Trump has now “reluctantly” decided to start accepting PAC money after all.  Behind his swagger and super-confidence, he’s secretly shouting “Help!  I need money!  Pleeeeease?!?!?”

From the linked article:


“The reality of Trump’s business career is that he is not so much a great businessman but somebody who has figured out how to make money by convincing people that he is one…
The particulars of his day-to-day message, to the extent he has one, barely matter. His entire appeal rests on the bedrock of his identity as a successful entrepreneur. The vast wealth Trump claims to have amassed allows him to supposedly fund his own campaign, escaping the influence of fundraisers who control his opponents. His alleged deal-making skill explains why he will be able to improve every trade deal, solve every legislative impasse, and finesse every diplomatic conflict. Trump’s endlessly repeated proposition is that he will take the skills that made him so rich and generously use them to make the country rich. Without that, he’s just a dumber version of Pat Buchanan.”

Busted!

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Saturday, May 14, 2016

Donald Trump: Who is John Miller? Don’t Hang Up — Answer the Question!!!

We might have found Donald Trump’s Achilles’ Heel:  Ask him “Did you ever employ someone named John Miller as a spokesperson?”   A caller asked him that question during an interview, and Trump went ballistic and hung up.

It turns out, “John Miller” was an alias Donald Trump used.  He was pretending to be Donald Trump’s publicist — “John Miller” — and “John Miller” turned out to be Donald Trump, singing his own praises in the second person.  “He’s gonna make America great again!!”  “Why should he reveal his tax returns?  None of your business!”  “His hands are huuuge, and so is his you-know-what!”

First there was Harvey the White Rabbit; now there’s “John Miller.”

Aside from the sleaze factor, isn’t this sort of…creepy?  Not quite in the same category as Norman Bates getting into a shouting match with his dead mother, but still…

But best of all, Trump lost his cool when he was asked about John Miller.  All of his calculated soundbites, choreographed moods and personas — down the tubes.

So keep after him, damn it!  Make him get rattled in front of his worshipers.  Who is John Miller?  What else are you hiding?  Got any other imaginary friends you’d like to share with us?

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Wednesday, May 11, 2016

You Know the U.S. has been Dumbed Down when...



Sunday, May 08, 2016

A Win Win for Donald Trump and the rest of the World



Wednesday, May 04, 2016

Even if Donald Trump Doesn't Get Elected...



Tuesday, May 03, 2016

Republicans Go Ballistic over Restored Voting Rights for Felons

The world is changing, and conservatives want it to stop so they can get off.  They’re still in a snit because they might bump into one of them there trans-jenn, uhh, lesbio, aaarrrggghh!!!PURVURTS!!! — in the bathroom!

And now, Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe has restored full Constitutional rights — including the right to vote — to all felons who have completed their prison sentences.

Approximately 206,000 ex-offenders who have paid their debts to society will now be allowed to vote.  Virginia Republicans are in such extreme shock, some of them are wandering into the wrong bathroom.

Needless to say, Virginia Republicans have filed a lawsuit to keep them ex-convicts out there on the fringes where they belong.  Their hired gun is Charles Cooper, the same attorney who went to the U.S. Supreme Court to defend the gay marriage ban.  (How’d that work out for them?)

In most states — as well as in every other industrialized country in the world except this one — people who have completed their sentence/parole are allowed to vote.  Kudos to Governor McAuliffe for dragging the State of Virginia kicking and screaming into the 21st century.

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Friday, April 29, 2016

Cruz/Fiorina: Like Attracts Like

Or, shit seeks its own level.  Or something...

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

April 2016: Busy Month for the Grim Reaper






Saturday, April 23, 2016

Let The American People Decide Who Should Be on the $20 Bill