Cleaning Up Cable TV

The FCC is waking up. They're finally gonna start doing their job. TV programming is mostly a vapid wasteland, with several huge corporations owning practically every station. Five hundred channels and there’s nothing on. It sucks.

And now, finally…oh, wait…that’s not what the FCC is worried about. Oh. The FCC is getting ready to crack down on "indecent" programming on cable TV.

Currently, indecency standards only apply to broadcast channels. Congress is considering extending these standards to include cable and satellite channels. Let’s see, a person willingly subscribes to a cable TV channel, but then this same person needs a government wetnurse to make sure this viewer won’t ever be offended by anything shown on that channel.

FCC Chairman Kevin Martin told Congress yesterday “parents need better and more tools to help them navigate the entertainment waters, particularly on cable and satellite TV.” He warned that if cable providers don’t find a way to police “smut” on television, the government will.

He also said “you can always turn the television off and of course block the channels you don’t want, but why should you have to?”

He really said that! The party of personal responsibility and limited government has now flipflopped to “you could block the channels you don’t want, but why should you have to?” It’s gone from pulling yourself up by your bootstraps to “Waaaaahhh! I was offended! I need to be coddled Now!”

Let’s see how far this FCC “logic” can go. I can’t stand Country and Western music. The same three chords, the same mindless redneck lyrics – I want this junk taken off the airwaves. Sure I could just change the station if a country song comes on, but why should I have to?

I can’t stand looking at the Dodge Neon with those garish, fruity colors. I want those colors banned. Sure I could avert my gaze when one of those blinding purple-pink-chartreuse cars goes by, but why should I have to?

I want the government to start paying me welfare, but the checks must be large enough to keep me in the pleasant middle-class lifestyle I’m accustomed to. Sure, I could keep working, but why should I have to?