Who Hijacked Our Country

Friday, October 26, 2007

FEMA: “FEMA You're Doing a Heckuva Job”

If this had been a skit on Saturday Night Live or The Daily Show, it would be the funniest ever. Trouble is, this really happened. Or as the saying goes, “you can't make this shit up.”

During Katrinagate, Brownie and the rest of the FEMAtoads really were doing a heckuva job. But those damn reporters ruined everything for them by taking pictures and asking embarrassing questions. A few goody-goodies working at FEMA probably thought they should improve their job performance during the next disaster. Riiight. Their bosses had a much better idea:

Let’s stage a press conference, and the “reporters” will actually be FEMA employees. FEMA employees pitching underhand softball questions to other FEMA employees. Brilliant!

Three days ago, FEMA scheduled a press conference to discuss their job performance during the California fires. They gave reporters fifteen minutes notice before starting the conference. Since hardly any reporters had time to show up, some of the questions were asked by FEMA employees playing the role of “reporters.”

In response to one of these “questions,” Harvey Johnson, FEMA’s deputy administrator, replied: “I’m very happy with FEMA’s response.” God only knows what the question was, but it must’ve been a zinger.

Hey, shouldn’t we all get to have this type of Performance Appraisal?

Me: “Please be honest now. How has my job performance been this past quarter? Any suggestions or criticisms? Don’t try to spare my feelings; be blunt.”

Me: “You’ve done an absolutely bangup performance this quarter. I only wish your coworkers had half of your drive and ingenuity. I’m going to see to it that you get a huge raise and a corner office.”

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16 Comments:

Blogger Mile High Pixie said...

You know, I've heard of this sort of thing going on in Bush's admin in general, so I'm not really surprised to hear about it happening with FEMA. It's been over two years, and it seems like nothing has changed, nothing has improved, nothing is really any better than it was pre-Katrina.

[shaking head] You know it's bad when nothing surprises you anymore out of these dipshits.

October 26, 2007 at 5:08 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mile High Pixie: Yup, that really is a bad sign when nothing from this administration is surprising any more. FEMA telling themselves they're doing a heckuva job -- well, I guess nobody else is gonna tell them that.

October 26, 2007 at 5:18 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

This would really be funny if it wasn't so sad. It makes one think just what are we getting from the Generals report in Iraq once Bush has his hands on it.

Could they get any lower than this? On second thought don't answer that.

October 26, 2007 at 5:37 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Let's Talk: Yup, funny and pitiful at the same time. And you're right -- never ever ask if this administration can sink any lower. They always do.

October 26, 2007 at 7:32 PM  
Blogger anna said...

Oh, y'all don't doubt they could sink lower. And when they do their gonna drag the rest of us down with them.

October 26, 2007 at 8:06 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Anna: Right you are. I'm not trying to sound like one of those "positive thinking" types, but whenever anyone even thinks or breathes anything about our government actually getting worse, the worst happens.

October 26, 2007 at 11:21 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

And they used to laugh at the tinfoil hat crowed. Each day, their wacky world view is proven to be more and more correct. Depressing.

October 27, 2007 at 5:31 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: Depressing is right. FEMA asking and answering their own questions -- that's even more absurd than those invitation-only audiences at Bush/Cheney events who get told when to erupt into spontaneous applause.

October 27, 2007 at 11:16 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

What a bunch of dumbshits we have running the country. None of them are above stooping too low. I'm surprised the White House would be ticked off over a fake news conference, since the White House hosts one of those every time Dumbya entertains reporters there.

October 27, 2007 at 11:52 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: Yup, this has to be a new low. Hope it doesn't start a trend.

October 28, 2007 at 1:29 AM  
Blogger Miss Kitty said...

What's really sad is I bet my students won't see anything wrong with this kind of "journalism." We have strayed so far from the days/likes of Cronkite, Woodward, & Bernstein. [sigh]

October 28, 2007 at 10:21 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Miss Kitty: I'm afraid you're right. Sleazy tactics like this have become the norm. Bush rallies that are scripted and invitation-only; government press releases being broadcast as "news" on TV -- FEMA's stunt was just the next logical step.

October 28, 2007 at 10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Call me Naive but I see a bigger problem. I believe there are some very dedicated FEMA employees wanting to do the right thing, the Bush administration slaps them by putting in that Hack Brown and then blames them all when he messes up, what a blow to moral. So Instead of really trying to fix things and give them the money and management they need, the administration stomps on them and lets congress and the press rip them apart as well.

That Phony News Conference was probably the only good news they've had all year.

Pitiful Right?

Erik

October 28, 2007 at 1:21 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: Of course, I'm sure there are lots of dedicated employees at FEMA. I wasn't slamming the individual workers at FEMA, just their "leadership" and the fact that Bush's cronyism has ruined most government agencies. They've all been gutted and turned into empty shells.

October 28, 2007 at 2:37 PM  
Blogger Kitchen Window Woman said...

When that FEMA press conference came on the TV I was irritated as we were surfing what channels we could get without cable to try to monitor the fire in the area we had evacuated from. Many in the San Diego area we pissed off already because of all of the misleading reports about the fire fighting planes that we were supposed to have.

When the "reporters" began to ask FEMA such fluffy questions I thought it was a little strange because most of the reporters in the area were trying to get serious information out - and they had been being pretty insistent and direct. I was disgusted so I went to listen to the radio reports instead.

There were reports on local television that when Michael Chertoff along with his entourage of FEMA reps convoyed into "see" the fire they disrupted the fire fighting operations.

The only reason they apologized is that they got caught! I think their phony press conference was a propaganda move - intended all along.

October 28, 2007 at 3:49 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

KWW: It makes sense to me that their phony press conference was planned. When you get caught pulling something like that, the shrewdest thing you can do is act shocked and furious. "Who did this?? Heads will roll!"

I wouldn't doubt that Chertoff's entourage screwed up the rescue operations they were "observing." It's like that sign that some garages have: "Labor -- $40 an hour. $60 an hour if you watch; $80 an hour if you help."

That must have been really infuriating when you were trying to get some real information and all you got was the mutual admiration society disguised as a press conference.

October 28, 2007 at 7:48 PM  

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