Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

An Urgent New Drug Problem!

For those of us whose purpose in life is to guard America’s morals — our work is never done. We already have our hands full fighting off the Homosexual Agenda and the Devil’s Music. And now there's a dangerous new drug from Mexico, just waiting to seduce our youth and sap their moral fiber.

Salvia Divinorum is a hallucinogenic plant that grows in Mexico. And now Americans are starting to use it. Don’t you understand what this means???

A Mexican drug coming into the United States — symbolically, this represents gangs of swarthy Meskins invading our decent Godfearing nation. These lazy hopheads will destroy everything America stands for.

Most of our politicians are unaware of this serious problem. They're too busy whining about the war in Iraq and our crumbling economy. But fortunately, a Florida state representative is coming to our rescue. Mary Brandenburg has introduced a bill to make possession of Salvia a felony — five years for any dope fiend caught with this drug.

But this isn't enough. Prison sentences need to be longer than that. And the American people need to be made aware of the hideous effects of this drug. This new menace will destroy anybody who uses it. An ordinary decent American who uses this drug will turn into a pervert; a monster!

We need to spread the word. Perhaps we could make a documentary: Salvia: Assassin of Youth.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

This reminds me of marijuana when it first appeared and the reefer madness movie that I was forced to watch in health class. Turns out pot is good for sick people. Somehow this war on drugs is going to put more people (I mean brown and black) in jail like our prison system isn't overcrowded already.


March 12, 2008 at 7:32 PM  
Anonymous rockync said...

Oh for pity's sake! Do the no- druggers know no bounds?! Salvia? I think I have some in my cupboard. It's been used by herbalists for ages. Here is some other shocking (NOT) facts about salvia: "Salvia divinorum is not generally understood to be toxic or addictive. As a κ-opioid agonist, it may have potential as an analgesic and as therapy for drug addictions."
"Salvia divinorum has become increasingly well-known and more widely available in modern culture. The rise of the Internet since the 1990s has seen the growth of many businesses selling live salvia plants, dried leaves, extracts, and other preparations. During this time medical experts and accident and emergency rooms have not been reporting cases that suggest particular health concerns, and police have not been reporting it as a significant issue with regard to public order offences. Yet Salvia divinorum has attracted increasing attention from the media and some lawmakers."
If we would just join the other enlightened countries in the world and legalize drugs, we could clean out a third of our jail space, cut our crime rate and spend time and money on MEANINGFUL projects that actually HELP Americans in need.

March 12, 2008 at 8:36 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jo: Yup, the War on Drugs. It's even better than Britney and Brangelina for distracting the public from the real issues. We can invade countries and outsource millions of jobs, and if anybody objects we'll just go point and go "psssst! Drugs!" And millions of drones fall for it every time.

Rockync: Damn, you've heard of it. I had never heard of this drug (or plant) until I saw the news story about all the hysteria about it. But the parallels between Salvia and the marijuana hysteria 80 years ago -- it's too much. Talk about doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time. We might as well turn the clock back 80 years and go "oh my God! Marijuana!"

March 12, 2008 at 11:31 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

I wonder how buzzed we can get merely by raiding Mary Brandenburg's medicine cabinet. Oh wait, all those pills were produced in a lab by Big Pharma. I apologize for my unpatriotic rhetoric.

March 13, 2008 at 7:32 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: Yes, I'll bet there's a gold mine of highs and buzzes inside Mary Brandenburg's medicine cabinet. Generally, the more gung ho somebody is about the War on Drugs, the more of a (legal) drug problem they have themselves.

Maybe she'll come down with some of those grisly side effects they warn about in all those Big Pharm commercials.

March 13, 2008 at 10:45 AM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

We haven't spent NEARLY enough money or man-hours on this menace. I am so thankful that Florida is there, just like I was thankful for them back in 2000!

March 13, 2008 at 12:14 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

JR: Yup, we can always count on Florida. Rigging an election, stepping up the War on Drugs -- what would we do without Florida?

March 13, 2008 at 12:17 PM  
Blogger PoliShifter said...

We just can't have any mind altering substances legally on the market that will compete with alcohol, the drug of choice and convenience.

March 13, 2008 at 12:59 PM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

Maybe we should allow Florida to kind of drift off into the ocean somewhere...

Is this type of salvia related to the salvia flowers I grow in my garden?

I too remember the movie "Reefer Madness" - but we watched it in college (um, under the influence of said "reefer") and got a lot of laughs out of it!

March 13, 2008 at 1:08 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Dang, we just can't let our guard down for a MINUTE! Does Lou Dobbs know about this?

March 13, 2008 at 2:05 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

PoliShifter: Right, we can't allow any competition for alcohol, or for all those Big Pharm feelgood drugs that we keep seeing advertised.

Mauigirl: I think salvia flowers are unrelated to the killer drug from Mexico. I too enjoyed Reefer Madness and Assassin of Youth, under the influence of the drug they were warning about.

Candace: Nope, we can't let our guard down for a minute. Drugs, homosexuals, liberals -- the American Family is under constant siege.

March 13, 2008 at 3:11 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two Questions

1. Isn't this the old Peyote?
2. Can you score some?


March 13, 2008 at 10:34 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: It might be similar to peyote. I hope it at least tastes better. I think it's supposed to be available online, at least until they make it illegal.

March 13, 2008 at 11:54 PM  

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