Who Hijacked Our Country

Friday, October 24, 2008

George W. Bush “Shocked!” by World Hostility toward America

President George W. Bush has expressed shock and disbelief at America’s deteriorating image around the world. In an unprecedented display of remorse, he said:

“Maybe I shouldn’t have invaded Iraq. They weren’t a threat to us. I just made up all that shit about weapons of mass destruction and bringing democracy to the Middle East so I could kick Saddam Hussein’s ass and finish what my daddy started, and then Mommy would take me back and coddle me again and quit doting and swooning over Jeb all the time. But I was wrong to let my Oedipal desires dictate America’s foreign policy. Right after the 9/11 attacks, America had the empathy of the entire world. I had a golden opportunity and I blew it. My bad.

“And maybe I should have tried to work with Congress instead of just walking all over them and pretending I was a dictator. And when New Orleans was drowning three years ago, I should've actually gone there in person instead of just peeking out the window of Air Force One as we flew over.

“Daddy, I broke the country. Can you bail me out again?”

cross-posted at Bring It On!


Blogger Lew Scannon said...

This is what happens when you don't read a newspaper and only watch Fox News.

October 24, 2008 at 3:37 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: I doubt if he even watches Fox News. Laura keeps forgetting to show him how to operate the TV remote.

October 24, 2008 at 4:42 PM  
Anonymous kate said...

humor is a vitamin. i now have mine for today. thanks

October 24, 2008 at 5:09 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Kate: Thanks. Enjoy the nourishment.

October 24, 2008 at 5:16 PM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Sorry I haven't been by--I've missed some great posts! My blogrolling isn't working, so I don't know when my buds update.

You had me going. I thought Bush actually said all that until you got to the word Oedipal--no way would Bush use that word!

October 24, 2008 at 8:30 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Enemy: Almost got you. Bush using a 3-syllable word, that would be a dead giveaway.

October 24, 2008 at 8:43 PM  
Blogger The Social Reformer said...


October 25, 2008 at 3:58 AM  
Blogger Ron Nasty said...

The cheerleader in Bush don't understand why some people don't show a li'l team spirit.

October 25, 2008 at 7:21 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

No one could have anticipated that being a douchebag would lead others to view said person as a douchebag.

Hey, Bush can too use three-syllable words when he's reading off a teleprompter if he slows his speech down.

October 25, 2008 at 7:25 AM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

Chimpy went a little too far in proving to his daddy who the REAL man is. I mean, all his daddy did was get a few planes shot out from under him-but Chimpy, he gots to use the Armed Forces of the United States to prove his manhood. Really now, who has the bigger cojones?

October 25, 2008 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Social Reformer: Thanks.

Ron: The cheerleader was so busy cheerleading that he didn't notice the game was over and everybody's gone home.

Randal: That's Bush in a nutshell -- being a douchebag and then being dumbstruck when the world sees him as a douchebag.

JR: Yup, he used the armed forces as his own personal gang. Too bad he wasn't willing to serve in them himself, unless the Texas Air Guard counts (where he deserted after a year).

October 25, 2008 at 10:28 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

I don't know whether father or son has the bigger cojones, but father definitely has the bigger brain.

Although with many of the hardcore mouthbreathers, intelligence is not necessarily an important thing to be admired. Cojones seems to trump brain power just about every time. Tsk, tsk...

October 25, 2008 at 3:19 PM  
Blogger Karlo said...

All those foreigners who don't love American...I've just got one thing to say about all of them. THEY'RE UNAMERICAN!

October 25, 2008 at 3:47 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

I read that post wanting to laugh and cry at the same time.

In reality, they'll hold the Winter Olympics in hell before Bush publicly acknowledges even that the Iraq invasion was a stupid mistake, much less that his three or four huge tax cuts were insanely wrong.

Considering Bush's age, even if he were of a mind to, I don't think he's got enough time left to catalog and apologize for all the wrong he's done, harm he's caused, money he's squandered and people he's screwed over.

October 25, 2008 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

I can see the generation in the near future looking back at Americans and wondering how they could be so dumb three time during the Bush Administration.

How did America allow the Courts to decide our President, this was supposed to be a vote by the people.

How did America allow the Ohio votes to be played with and dumped in the favor of Bush, even though we all knew that this was what happened.

How did we allow Bush to go to Iraq with our Military when we needed to be in Afghanistan, where we know that these were the people that caused 911.

October 25, 2008 at 4:49 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Excellent questions, LT. Historians will be going over the folly, fearmongering and f-ing up of the last eight years for the next century.

October 25, 2008 at 7:11 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: Bush 41 is definitely smarter than his son but like you said, that doesn't matter to rightwingers.

Karlo: Yup, and they're also a bunch of commies and turrists.

SW: You're right, there isn't enough time for Bush to apologize for all the destruction he's caused (in case he ever wanted to). If he was only 21, he'd still be dead of old age before he got through apologizing.

Let's Talk: No doubt, future generations will look back at us with disgust. I just hope some lessons have been learned from these past 8 years.

October 25, 2008 at 7:13 PM  
Anonymous kate said...

Tom, i just read a couple of articles that scared the bejeezus out of me. you may not want to take up space with this in your blog, but if you'd like to edit it in any way please do. If you don't put this in your blog, since I respect your opinions, I would very much appreciate your thoughts at my e-mail kate8703@hotmail.com. I'm not good at all putting my thoughts into words, so please bear with me.

The first concern is the whole Obama not being a US citizen and therefore not being qualified to run. This does not seem to be going away and in fact appears to be picking up steam.
My second concern is a small article re: the Posse Comitatus Act of 1878 that prohibits US military from exercising police powers within the US. In 2006 it was amended to use armed forces to restore public order, but was subsequently repealed. However, Bush attached a signing statement to the repeal saying he did not feel bound by it.

Now the good part, beginning Oct 1 the 3rd Infantry's 1st brigade Combat Team will serve at home"as on-call federal response force for natural or man made emergencies and disasters, including terrorist attacks" within the US.

Here is where my thoughts are leading me. Bush now has his own military who answer directly to him. Is it possible he will, at the last hour, declare Obama not qualified to run and use this Army to squelch any uprisings (terrorists) of people who are outraged? Thanks for any insights.

October 26, 2008 at 5:46 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Kate: As far as Obama not being a natural born U.S. citizen is concerned, I've heard all the rumors. I just figure that the rightwing "opposition researchers" and dirt digger-uppers have spent months looking for something to pin on Obama. If there was any concrete evidence of any of these charges (he was born in Kenya, he's a Muslim, etc.) I'm sure they would have found it by now. Just my opinion.

It's true about the Posse Comitatus Act. There's been all kinds of speculation for the past few months (years even) that Bush and/or Cheney is planning to declare a "state of emergency" so they can impose martial law. Who knows? I'm not really worried about it myself, but that's just me.

October 26, 2008 at 9:41 AM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Kate, you expressed your concerns very well. You aren't alone in being alarmed.

I've read some of the same stuff about the potential being in place for some kind of last-minute power grab. Two things provide me some reassurance, though.

First, despite the fact they really, really wanted to, Bush and Cheney got the message from an irate public that attacking Iran was a nonstarter.

Second, Bush and Cheney are such monumental screw-ups, I wouldn't be surprised, if they were to try such an illegal move, to see the troops being sent to the wrong places, some with no ammunition and others running out of gas before reaching their objectives.

October 26, 2008 at 8:13 PM  
Blogger Miss Kitty said...

LMAO! Thanks, Tom!

October 27, 2008 at 5:24 PM  

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