Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Drown Haley Barbour in a Vat of Toothpaste

Remember now, this inbred douchebag is a moderate Republican and White House hopeful for 2012. He’s the “good cop” to the Sarah Palin/Rand Paul/Newt Gingrich “bad cop.”

Governor Asswipe was starting to get concerned about the BP oil spill when it looked like Mississippi’s Gulf Coast would get swamped with oil. But most of the oil got washed away by storms, so Barbour went back to downplaying the problem and dismissing those whiny treehuggers and their concern about wildlife.

Barbour described the oil as “weathered, emulsified, caramel-colored mousse, like the food mousse.” He also said:

“Once it gets to this stage, it’s not poisonous. But if a small animal got coated enough with it, it could smother it. But if you got enough toothpaste on you, you couldn’t breathe.”

Maybe this could be arranged for Haley Barbour.

The 9/11 story has been rewritten so many times, it’s getting hard to keep track. First we had Rudy Giuliani telling us that there were no domestic terrorist attacks during George W. Bush’s presidency. And now, apparently — according to Bill O’Reilly — the attacks occurred when several planeloads of homosexuals crashed into the World Trade Center.

Can’t wait to hear the next historical revision.

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Blogger Lew Scannon said...

The "official" 9/11 conspiracy theory gets wackier all the time! And each time they change the story, it makes the other conspiracy theories all the more plausible, because why would nineteen gay gentlemen need seventeen virgins in Paradise?

June 3, 2010 at 2:14 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Jesus H jumping on a cracker. We have this guy and $ister $arah with the "extreme greenies" comment on the book of faces yesterday. Guess that fat bastard Luntz has been working overtime with the talking points again, since they are now on the same page.

*Sheesh, it was socialist, Muslim homiseckshual, baby eating, kitty killers, so that they could get the usurper from kenya in there that did all the damage 9-11. This was after they craftily and secretly crafted the time machine to go back and place those ads, about the usurper being born in Hawaii, bet you did not know Hawaii is Kenyan for Kenya did ya?I thought I had told everyone about it. Guess you are the last to know then, sorry bout that, won't happen again Tom.

June 3, 2010 at 3:15 PM  
Blogger Tim said...

Whatever Luntz is smoking, it must be some good sheeeet.
How do you get that job,lyeing shit to dream up and get on Fox.

June 3, 2010 at 9:21 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

What else do you expect from a former Republican National Committee chairman?

It's becoming clear somebody got to Republcan pols in the past 24 hours or so. I just did a post on what a member of Alaska's GOP lame-brain trust said trying to downplay the disaster. Olbermann just did a piece on Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana, who's written a letter telling Obama to lay off the oil industry before his state loses more jobs.

That's like an anorexic demanding a prescription for weight-loss pills.

June 4, 2010 at 1:29 AM  
Blogger Dave Dubya said...

Oil is, in fact, the life blood of Reich Wingers. They should drink plenty of the harmless nurturing stuff, just to prove to us moonbats there's no reason for concern.

June 4, 2010 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger T. Paine said...

I see a lot of excesses from the right with their Obama-bashing, just like I STILL see a lot of bashing from those on the left that seemingly are still suffering from Bush Derangement Syndrome.

This is counter-productive in both cases, frankly. (And yes, I have been guilty of it too at times.)

Glad that the political divide has been healed though....

June 4, 2010 at 8:17 AM  
Blogger Demeur said...

Of course you all heard what baby face Jindal wants to do? If you guessed "Drill baby Drill", then you just won today's prize of a dead oil soaked pelican.

June 4, 2010 at 8:24 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

Tom, instead make Barbour brush his teeth with oil sludge.

June 4, 2010 at 9:54 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: Every time there's another wacky 9/11 "theory," the official version sounds a little less wacky. But only a little bit.

Jess: I couldn't believe Sarah Palin's comment. A local bookstore had her quote written on their chalkboard (the store owner isn't a Palin fan, trust me). I like your 9/11 theory. It's no more wacky than Bill O'Reilly's version.

Tim: That would be a cushy job, dreaming up shit for Fox to spew out.

SW: Yup, the rightwing echo chamber is in overdrive lately. Everything from "it's not that bad" to "this wouldn't have happened if they had been allowed to drill in ANWR."

"That's like an anorexic demanding a prescription for weight-loss pills." LOL, and true.

Dave: I'd love to see them drink it, bathe in it, swim in it...

TP: Yes, isn't it nice that the political divide has been healed :)

Demeur: I've won! And I always wanted an oil-soaked pelican.

TomCat: Great idea.

June 4, 2010 at 11:52 AM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

No wonder them Bubbas are all afraid of brushing their teeth...

June 4, 2010 at 1:35 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

JR: I knew there was an explanation.

June 4, 2010 at 3:05 PM  

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