Wanted: Strawberry Pickers. Must Be Fireproof

Imagine this:  you’re filling out a job application, and you come to the inevitable “Reason for leaving your previous employer?”

Your answer:  “Fired because I ran for my life when smoke and flames came roaring in.”

During last week’s Springs Fire — the raging wildfire that originated in Camarillo Springs, CA — fifteen strawberry pickers ran for their lives so they wouldn’t suffocate from the smoke and ash that was engulfing them.  Their employer, Crisalida Farms of Oxnard, CA, fired these malingering sissies for walking off the job.

(And this wraps up our Douchebag Employer of the Month Contest.  No more calls, we have a winner!)

One of the fired workers — who are represented by the United Farm Workers Union — said:  “The smoke was very bad. There’s no doubt about that.”

Crisalida Farms gave an official statement saying the workers had clocked out without permission while orders were still unfilled. A real man isn’t afraid of a few third degree burns.

During subsequent negotiations with the union, Crisalida Farms was informed of the following union rule:  “No worker shall work under conditions where they feel his life or health is in danger.”

Crisalida Farms eventually relented and offered the fired workers their jobs back.  (No wonder conservatives hate unions so much.)  Only one worker accepted the offer.  All of the other workers have found employment at other farms where the employers are a little more, uh, human.

One of the fired workers made the point that while losing work is hard, losing one’s health is harder.

No argument there.