Emergency Relief Drive for Traumatized Pigeon Hunters
A group of Manly Men known as the Philadelphia Gun Club has been getting harassed and intimidated by some of those pesky animal rights activists. Now, unless you're a hard-livin', hard partyin' badass motherfucker, you might get a little squeamish reading about the gut-wrenching danger and terror being faced every day by the brave members of the Philadelphia Gun Club.
OK, you've been warned. Ready???
Philadelphia Gun Club members spend their days perfecting their aim by shooting at live pigeons which have been caged and tamed.
Now don't come crying to me; I warned you. Can you even try to imagine the blind courage — that suck-it-up, stare-death-in-the-face True Grit — that these brave hunters must have been experiencing??? If you're like me, your heart was jumping through your throat, a cold clammy terror swept over you while you were reading that description.
And now the unflinching bravery of these Real Men has been rewarded with jeers and mean jokes from one of them treehugging animal rights groups.
An organization called Showing Animals Respect and Kindness (SHARK) has slandered and humiliated these brave hunters by gluing a bunch of dildos to the outside walls of the Philadelphia Gun Club's headquarters. Stop laughing! Do you have any idea how humiliating this is to a bunch of Manly Men with Guns???
In response, eight members of the Philadelphia Gun Club have filed a lawsuit against SHARK, alleging harassment and intimidation.
Now you know as well as I do, these inbred bullet-ejaculators don't have a pot to piss on, let alone enough money to pay for some two-bit lawyer.
And this is where YOU come in: Please visit the website of the Philadelphia Gun Club and donate whatever amount you can.
These brave men need your help.