Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Emergency Relief Drive for Traumatized Pigeon Hunters

A group of Manly Men known as the Philadelphia Gun Club has been getting harassed and intimidated by some of those pesky animal rights activists. Now, unless you're a hard-livin', hard partyin' badass motherfucker, you might get a little squeamish reading about the gut-wrenching danger and terror being faced every day by the brave members of the Philadelphia Gun Club.

OK, you've been warned.  Ready???

Philadelphia Gun Club members spend their days perfecting their aim by shooting at live pigeons which have been caged and tamed.

Now don't come crying to me; I warned you.  Can you even try to imagine the blind courage that suck-it-up, stare-death-in-the-face True Grit that these brave hunters must have been experiencing???  If you're like me, your heart was jumping through your throat, a cold clammy terror swept over you while you were reading that description.

And now the unflinching bravery of these Real Men has been rewarded with jeers and mean jokes from one of them treehugging animal rights groups.

An organization called Showing Animals Respect and Kindness (SHARK) has slandered and humiliated these brave hunters by gluing a bunch of dildos to the outside walls of the Philadelphia Gun Club's headquarters.  Stop laughing!  Do you have any idea how humiliating this is to a bunch of Manly Men with Guns???

In response, eight members of the Philadelphia Gun Club have filed a lawsuit against SHARK, alleging harassment and intimidation.

Now you know as well as I do, these inbred bullet-ejaculators don't have a pot to piss on, let alone enough money to pay for some two-bit lawyer.

And this is where YOU come in:  Please visit the website of the Philadelphia Gun Club and donate whatever amount you can.

These brave men need your help.

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Blogger jadedj said...

I'm on it! Except my donation is not going to be money. It's going to be an envelope filled to the brim with...pigeon guano. Mailing it today. Thanks for the link, Tom.

April 10, 2014 at 4:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It'll be interesting to see how this comes out as Conservatives don't seem to mind when someone is taking down plate numbers when you park at an Abortion Clinic. It is harassment when it's a Gun club despite the law?

Many places have declared Pigeons official pest, but you can't have these guys going out on the street taking pot shots at free pigeons - NIMBY!

I don't approve of this but, would there be the same protest if the Gun club were shooting at Rats and Roaches?


April 10, 2014 at 3:35 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

jadedj: LOL, that's exactly what those assholes should get in the mail. Either that or a letter bomb (but that would be wrong).

Erik: Conservatives are notorious for having one behavior standard for themselves and a different standard for everybody else. That's why they feel wronged and violated when their cause gets picketed or made fun of, but it's perfectly OK for them to get right up in liberals' faces.

True, there wouldn't be as much outcry if they were shooting rats or roaches; but pigeons aren't universally loved either. Then again, if they were using bunnies or robins for target practice, you'd really see some violent reactions.

April 10, 2014 at 10:29 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Ijin you believe like I do, these guys will get wingnut welfare lawyers to go up against the tree huggers. Yhey'll get donations from the bed wetting, small dicked in our society that need guns to feel like manly men. For a group that constantly are always yammering about trial lawyers and them being scum, they don't seem to mind those scummy lawyers when they need them.

April 13, 2014 at 11:31 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: You're right about wingnut welfare lawyers; that's probably exactly who will help these traumatized hunters. Almost every organization whose name ends with "Legal Foundation" is a gang of corporate lawyers who do pro bono work for developers and ranchers and other Real Americans in their ongoing struggle against the unwashed masses.

April 14, 2014 at 12:53 PM  

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