Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Colorado Sues Oklahoma: Too Many Inbreds Pouring Over the State Line

Scott Pruitt, Attorney General of Oklahoma, has filed a lawsuit against Colorado because of Colorado's citizens' vote to legalize marijuana.  Scott Pruitt — he's also one of the ringleaders of the GOP's never-ending crusade to derail Obamacare — said:

“What we take issue with is this licensing scheme, this commercialization, that the state has promoted at the expense of Oklahoma and Nebraska...there are illegal products that are being trafficked across state lines. Clearly we've been injured.”

In response, the State of Colorado has filed a counter-suit against Oklahoma, alleging that Oklahoma's constant exporting of dumb rednecks has ruined the cultural/intellectual/political climate of neighboring Colorado.  A spokesperson for the counter-suit, who declined to be identified, said:

We are the ones who have 'clearly been injured.'  We've been working to provide the best possible education system for our citizens, and then these bone-stupid Okies keep pouring into our state.  They're dumbing down the entire school system; they're stupidifying the entire state!  Colorado has some of the world's most magnificent scenery, wildlife, biological corridors.  We want to save these irreplaceable treasures from the devastating effects of climate change.  It's an uphill battle, standing up against the deep-pocketed fossil fuel industry.  And this battle is even harder when we're surrounded by a bunch of inbred Bible-humpers who think Jesus and the dinosaurs were romping and frolicking 2,000 years ago, and global warming is just God hugging us closer.”

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7 Comments:

Blogger Jerry Critter said...

Perhaps Oklahoma should protect their borders better. Can they spell fence?

December 19, 2014 at 8:12 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jerry: Yes indeed they can. P-H-E-N-T-S.

December 19, 2014 at 11:02 AM  
Blogger Jerry Critter said...

They need PHENTS to keep their citizens away for WEDE.

December 19, 2014 at 1:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Habla Ingles?

December 19, 2014 at 7:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jerry,

That's WEAD!

Erik

December 19, 2014 at 8:07 PM  
Blogger Jerry Critter said...

Perhaps WHEED?

December 19, 2014 at 11:15 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jerry, Erik: Jeez, kant you guyz spel? It's W-I-E-D-E. Or maybe it's P-A-H-T.

Anonymous: Oh, I get it. One Ingle, two Ingles, etc...

December 20, 2014 at 12:59 AM  

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