Warning: The Black Helicopters Are HERE!!!!!

Teabuggerers, Afterbirthers and other Patriotic Americans — Doomsday is here! Ever since Billary Satan Clinton started corrupting this great nation in 1993, we’ve all known this terrible day would arrive.

That dreaded One World Government is here. The sovereignty of this great nation has now ceased to exist. United States of America: 1776 — 2010. What a long strange trip it’s been.

For the first time EVER, the United States will begin submitting its human rights record to international scrutiny. What??? Some tinpot third world hack is going to be scrutinizing the United States of America???

Hillary Clinton announced, “Human rights are universal, but their experience is local. This is why we are committed to holding everyone to the same standard, including ourselves.” Traitor! Commie!

Where does she get off — “Holding everyone to the same standard, including ourselves.”

We’re NOT the same! America is Number One! The United States of America is BETTER than the whole lot of them fourth rate pansies! Didn’t anyone ever tell Billary about Manifest Destiny??? God’s Will???

We don’t have human rights violations here in America! Or if we do, uh, well, er, it’s different when WE do it.

Where are you Chuck Norris? Your country needs you!

Hillary Finally Dies

Aw shucks, funerals are always so sad.

AAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! The corpse is still flailing! It's jumping! It's running around, attacking people!

Quick, drive a stake through its heart!

The flailing corpse and its husband (how can we miss him if he won’t go away?) have been nothing but a rotting albatross for the Democrats. Buh bye now.

Hillary has been like a mildly interesting (at first) party guest who gets totally shitfaced, wears a lampshade and starts annoying and interrupting and shouting down everybody else at the party, and ends up staying and staying and staying long after all the other guests have left.

She also reminds me of this one episode from Tales From The Dark Side — a Godawful Twilight Zone ripoff from the 1980s. This old man has just died, but he either doesn’t know it or won’t admit it. He comes down to the kitchen one morning, with flies buzzing all around him. He’s batting away at the flies and cussing at them, and everybody else in the house is yelling out “Grandpa, you’re dead.”

This keeps going on for several days. Finally one morning at the breakfast table (by now the flies are thicker than ever), he sneezes and his nose falls off. That’s when he agrees that he must be dead, and he promises to go upstairs and lie down for good.

Anyway, a lame episode of a thoroughly retarded TV show — but Hillary made me think of it.

Up until a few months ago, there seemed to be a lot of nostalgia for Bill Clinton’s presidency. Not because he was a great president or anything — but his tenure was just a more innocent era, compared to everything that’s happened since then. There’s almost a 1950s-type of nostalgia for the 1990s.

Remember those halcyon days? The most burning issues were the usual Republican/Democrat arguments over Property Rights and Limited Government versus safe working conditions, protecting the environment, etc. And of course, did Bill have sexual relations with “That Woman Miss Lewinsky.”

But now the Clinton nostalgia has evaporated. Poof! They’ve both been way too ubiquitous, front and center 24/7, and they’ve both come across as even more manipulative and underhanded than anyone ever suspected.

And Bill Clinton’s legacy as “America’s First Black President” is deader than a doornail. This isn’t just because the next president might actually be black. Even if McCain wins, Billary’s sly “subtle” use of the Race Card (about as subtle as a freight train) has obliterated that legacy.

Now, let's cut that albatross loose and get on with the Obama-McCain presidential race.