Who Won The First Debate?

From the Huffington Post:

“Had the debate been a prize fight, it would have been stopped in the third round. Donald Trump turned in the worst ― and I mean worst ― debate performance in modern times. It was so bad that in a normal year, it would disqualify him from getting anywhere near the White House.  But this is 2016, a year so weird, unsettled and unsettling, that even the spectacle of an unprepared and almost incoherent Trump, reeling from blow after blow from Democrat Hillary Clinton, may not be enough to slow him down.”

That's about it.  Trump kept spewing out lie after lie, and the Trumpanzees didn't care or didn't notice.

Lester Holt had to keep fact-checking Trump, repeating over and over that being audited by the IRS would NOT prevent him from releasing his tax returns; and Trump kept insisting that he can't release his tax returns until the IRS is through with their audit.  WTF is he hiding?  A Russian Mob connection?  The fact that his net worth is closer to $300 million than the $20 billion he keeps implying?

He was also fact-checked again and again over his claim that he was against the Iraq War from the beginning.

And let's not forget:

The Truth about Donald Trump's “Basket of Deplorables”

As you've probably heard, the Trumpanzees are having a sad because Hillary Clinton said mean things about them at a fundraiser:

“You know, just to be grossly generalistic, you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the basket of deplorables. Right? The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic — you name it.”

While the Trump Klan is shedding crocodile tears, here are the facts.

Among people who say they're voting for Trump:

65% believe President Obama is a Muslim;

59% believe Obama was not born in the United States;

40% think Blacks are more lazy than Whites;

50% think Blacks are more violent than Whites;

In a different poll, conducted only in South Carolina among Trump supporters:

31% believe all LGBT people should be banned from the United States;

16% said “whites are a superior race;” another 14% answered the same question with “not sure.”

Deplorable indeed.

Warning: The Black Helicopters Are HERE!!!!!

Teabuggerers, Afterbirthers and other Patriotic Americans — Doomsday is here! Ever since Billary Satan Clinton started corrupting this great nation in 1993, we’ve all known this terrible day would arrive.

That dreaded One World Government is here. The sovereignty of this great nation has now ceased to exist. United States of America: 1776 — 2010. What a long strange trip it’s been.

For the first time EVER, the United States will begin submitting its human rights record to international scrutiny. What??? Some tinpot third world hack is going to be scrutinizing the United States of America???

Hillary Clinton announced, “Human rights are universal, but their experience is local. This is why we are committed to holding everyone to the same standard, including ourselves.” Traitor! Commie!

Where does she get off — “Holding everyone to the same standard, including ourselves.”

We’re NOT the same! America is Number One! The United States of America is BETTER than the whole lot of them fourth rate pansies! Didn’t anyone ever tell Billary about Manifest Destiny??? God’s Will???

We don’t have human rights violations here in America! Or if we do, uh, well, er, it’s different when WE do it.

Where are you Chuck Norris? Your country needs you!

Brazil to U.S.: “I’m Not Your Houseboy Any More”

For generations, our Latin American colonies did exactly what we told them to do, when we told them to do it — if they knew what was good for them. This was God’s Will.

But now some of these natives are getting all uppity on us.

How can we build Coalition of the Willing 2.0 — or would that be Son of Coalition of the Willing — if them darkies won’t yell “How high, Sir?” when we yell “Jump!”

Hillary Clinton was in Brazil, trying to drum up support for international sanctions against Iran. But Brazil wasn’t bending over this time. Brazilian President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva said:

“It is not prudent to push Iran against a wall. The prudent thing is to establish negotiations.”

Brazil is a voting member of the U.N. Security Council, so it was important for Clinton to whip up the proper hysteria against those crazy Muslims. But Silva responded to Clinton with:

“I want for Iran the same thing I want for Brazil: to use the development of nuclear energy for peaceful purposes. If Iran agrees with that, Iran will have the support of Brazil.”

In other words — Appeasement. Negotiating with terrorists!

Well, Plan A didn’t work. Now we move to Plan B: Iran has Weapons of Mass Destruction! Iran has close ties with Osama bin Laden! Most of the 9/11 hijackers were from Iran!

Hillary Finally Dies

Aw shucks, funerals are always so sad.

AAAAAAAAGGGHHH!!!! The corpse is still flailing! It's jumping! It's running around, attacking people!

Quick, drive a stake through its heart!

The flailing corpse and its husband (how can we miss him if he won’t go away?) have been nothing but a rotting albatross for the Democrats. Buh bye now.

Hillary has been like a mildly interesting (at first) party guest who gets totally shitfaced, wears a lampshade and starts annoying and interrupting and shouting down everybody else at the party, and ends up staying and staying and staying long after all the other guests have left.

She also reminds me of this one episode from Tales From The Dark Side — a Godawful Twilight Zone ripoff from the 1980s. This old man has just died, but he either doesn’t know it or won’t admit it. He comes down to the kitchen one morning, with flies buzzing all around him. He’s batting away at the flies and cussing at them, and everybody else in the house is yelling out “Grandpa, you’re dead.”

This keeps going on for several days. Finally one morning at the breakfast table (by now the flies are thicker than ever), he sneezes and his nose falls off. That’s when he agrees that he must be dead, and he promises to go upstairs and lie down for good.

Anyway, a lame episode of a thoroughly retarded TV show — but Hillary made me think of it.

Up until a few months ago, there seemed to be a lot of nostalgia for Bill Clinton’s presidency. Not because he was a great president or anything — but his tenure was just a more innocent era, compared to everything that’s happened since then. There’s almost a 1950s-type of nostalgia for the 1990s.

Remember those halcyon days? The most burning issues were the usual Republican/Democrat arguments over Property Rights and Limited Government versus safe working conditions, protecting the environment, etc. And of course, did Bill have sexual relations with “That Woman Miss Lewinsky.”

But now the Clinton nostalgia has evaporated. Poof! They’ve both been way too ubiquitous, front and center 24/7, and they’ve both come across as even more manipulative and underhanded than anyone ever suspected.

And Bill Clinton’s legacy as “America’s First Black President” is deader than a doornail. This isn’t just because the next president might actually be black. Even if McCain wins, Billary’s sly “subtle” use of the Race Card (about as subtle as a freight train) has obliterated that legacy.

Now, let's cut that albatross loose and get on with the Obama-McCain presidential race.

Congressional Democrats: Do Something or Get the F#$&#$#! Out

E.J. Dionne has a blunt message for our Democratic “leaders” in Congress. He also has some sympathy for their self-created dilemma. Yes, it’s hell to be a spineless boneless jellyfish.

As he puts it: “Republicans chortle as they block Democratic initiatives — and accuse the majority of being unable to govern. Rank-and-filers are furious their leaders can't end the Iraq war.”

The Democrats can't pass any legislation because Republicans keep stalling their bills with one parliamentary move after another. This fact by itself should be a PR advantage for the Democrats. But as usual, they just lie back and let the Republican Spin Machine paint them into a corner. “Tax and spend,” “they don’t support our troops,” “nanny state,” yada yada yada.

Republicans seem to know zillions of obscure parliamentary rules that can be invoked on every possible occasion. “It’s Tuesday and we haven’t had lunch yet. Section 37D Paragraph 24 clearly states…”

So why can't the Democrats do this? Congressional Republicans had Clinton practically paralyzed during the last six years of his presidency. What do they know that the Democrats don’t know? Or maybe they have spines and the Democrats don’t.

Dionne says: “In an ideal world, Democrats would pass a lot of legislation that Bush would either have to sign or veto. The president would have to take responsibility for his choices.”

Fortunately for Dumbya, his Congressional drones are protecting him from any personal responsibility. Since they keep most legislation from even getting to his desk, he can just sit there spilling whiskey and learning songs about Condi. (Bonus Question: Name the Tom Waits song alluded to in the previous sentence.)

And the Democrats’ razor-thin majority in the Senate isn't helped when Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton, Chris Dodd and Barack Obama are too busy running for president to be bothered with their mundane jobs in the Senate.

No wonder people are fed up with the two party system. Oh, there're some differences between the two. On the right we have a bunch of stormtroopers marching in lockstep. On the left, a bunch of spineless blobs call out “how high sir?” whenever the stormtroopers say “Jump!” And jumping without a spine ain't easy.

Do the Democrats stand a chance in 2008? According to Dionne, this is what they have to do:

“House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid should ...use the Christmas break to come up with a joint program for 2008. They could start with the best ideas from their presidential candidates in areas such as health care, education, cures for the ailing economy and poverty-reduction. Agree to bring the same bills to a vote in both houses. Try one more time to change the direction of Iraq policy. If Bush and the Republicans block their efforts, bring all these issues into the campaign. Let the voters break the gridlock.”

cross-posted at Bring It On!

Karl Rove Tells How to Beat Hillary

Here it is, straight from the douchebag’s mouth:

This just in — Hillary Clinton is “hard and brittle” (as Sleazebag puts it). She's also "a bitch," of course; and she "calculates almost everything, including her accent and laugh."

Here's where Rover turns into a comedian: his advice to the ultimate Republican nominee is to “Tackle issues families care about.” Of course. You mean abortion and gay marriage, right? I know those are the first things on my mind when I’m struggling with the bills.

Oh my God, Hell has frozen over and pigs are flying. The issues he's referring to are “jobs, the economy, taxes and spending.” OK, I get it. When the wingnuts get through spinning this one, “taxes and spending” will mean anything having to do with health care, job training, the environment or the infrastructure. “Jobs and the economy” will mean “what's good for Halliburton/Exxon is good for America.” Will American voters be as stupid and gullible next year as they were in 2004?

Goebbels Rove also says “but some issues that used to be ‘go to’ ones for Republicans, like crime and welfare, don't have as much salience.” Then again, words like crime and welfare mean different things to different people.

Here is where the term “Orwellian” really gets stretched into bizarre shapes and sizes that poor old George never would’ve dreamed of: “Concerns like health care, the cost of college and social mobility will be more important.” Yes, this is exactly what CEOs and Republican VIPs have been agonizing over for the past seven years. Let’s see how they spin this one. If only Marie Antoinette could’ve translated “Let them eat cake” into “I’m sooo concerned about the plight of the poor and downtrodden.”

And now the pusbag starts spinning even faster and more furiously: “Aggressively campaign for the votes of America's minorities. Go to their communities, listen and learn, demonstrate your engagement and emphasize how your message can provide hope and access to the American Dream for all.” Yeah, you do that. Record profits for the largest corporations, higher taxes for working people and a bloated multi-trillion-dollar Pentagon — this is exactly what minorities and working families are clamoring for.

Uh oh, now the mask is getting peeled off and we see The Blob for what it really is: “Be strong on Iraq. Democrats have bet on failure. That's looking to be an increasingly bad wager, given the remarkable progress seen recently in Iraq.” Yes indeed, “remarkable progress in Iraq.” Easy to say for a pasty-faced triple-chinned shitwipe who wouldn’t know a military uniform if it bit him on the ass. Contact your recruiter, Asshole.

BTW, this article has some interesting comments at the end.


cross-posted at Bring It On!