Corporate Thieves vs. Consumers and Investors: Strange Bedfellows

Congress is considering legislation which would derail the corporate “Enron” reforms that were passed in 2002. Unfortunately it’s supposed to have a good chance of passing.

This law would give corporate sleaze captains a lot of “constitutional” protections that don’t exist if you're just an average citizen. If it passes, prosecutors won't be able to urge companies to reveal confidential talks with their lawyers in return for leniency. And the SEC won't be able to force companies to cut off legal support for employees who are under investigation.

These are some of the tools that helped to prosecute Enron and WorldCom. A former SEC accounting chief said: “Pre-Enron, U.S. attorneys never brought these cases, and after this bill is passed, they will quit bringing them again. This is a very clear message from Congress: Don't touch white-collar criminals.”

Lining up in favor of the corporate sleazewipes: The U.S. Chamber of Commerce, the Business Roundtable, Arlen Specter, John Conyers, the American Bar Association and the ACLU.

Prosecutors and the Justice Department are on the side of consumers and investors. This has to be the wackiest collection of strange bedfellows I’ve ever seen.

Karin Immergut, U.S. attorney and head of a Justice Department white-collar crime committee, said: "This bill would certainly make it harder for prosecutors to protect victims and the investing public. I frankly find it kind of baffling that people are proposing legislation that protects corporations and corporate officers like CEOs more than other individuals.”

Former Massachusetts Attorney General Scott Harshbarger said: "Federal agencies have stepped up to the plate over the last few years in a way that was entirely appropriate. They were doing the job Congress asked them to. And the reward they're getting is that they're being punished for success."

I still can't get over the fact that I’m on the side of the Justice Department and against the ACLU. Well, that’s it —there's a snowball fight in Hell right now, and a winged pig just crashed into my upstairs window.

Ownership Society: The Enron Model for America

This “Ownership Society” is just great, isn't it; at least if you're part of that one percent who owns everything. When it comes to privatization, more is better. And we’re just about to see a whole lot more.

How’s this for a match made in Heaven: The nation’s infrastructure is crumbling, as we all know. Sinking. And rich investors are always looking for foolproof new investments that will increase their scrotal grip on the rest of the country. Presto!

Let’s privatize our roads and transportation systems. If you liked Enron, you'll love driving on the Bechtel Turnpike and riding Halliburton Transit.

A few years ago, Bolivia discovered how much fun it is to have their water supply owned by a global corporation. Soon we’ll be enjoying the same privilege here in America.

As you're driving over the Exxon Bridge on your way to Du Pont International Airport, you can think of those halcyon days of the Gilded Age. And suddenly you'll realize: those glorious days are here again.