Teabaggers Suddenly Worried About Correct Spelling?!? WTF???

The irony meter is going berserk.

The same knuckle-dragging inbreds who brought us the Pubic Option, “Make English Americas Offical Language” and Morans are now suddenly concerned about proper spelling?!?!?!

Hell has frozen over! And a pig just flew past my window.

Lisa Murkowski’s write-in campaign might keep Joe Miller, Alaska’s favorite teabirther, out of the Senate. Miller has filed a lawsuit. (I thought conservatives were always complaining about “too much litigation”). He wants to be absolutely certain that everyone who voted for Lisa Murkowski spelled her name right. If not, their votes should be thrown out.

Since when is spelling — or any other mental faculty — important to a Republican? Irony Alert: If voters were required to demonstrate any basic level of intelligence or comprehension in order to vote — no Republican candidate would ever get elected.

In a related story: American students’ math skills rank 31st in the world. Most industrialized countries are ahead of us.

This is excellent news for conservatives, no? After all, when people can’t put two and two together — they vote Republican.

James Inhofe, Lisa Murkowski: “BP’s Oil Spill Is a GOOD Thing”

Senator James Inhofe (R—Inbred) and Rep. Lisa Murkowski (R—Prostitute) have spread their legs wider and bent over further for Big Oil than anyone else in Congress, so far.

They’ve both blocked legislation that would increase oil companies’ liability when an oil spill wrecks the environment and thousands of people's livelihoods. The current liability cap is $75 million. $75 million?!?!? For a gigantic bloated company like BP (or Exxon), $75 million isn’t even pocket change.

Congressional Democrats are trying to raise the liability cap to $10 billion. Big Oil’s skanky prostitutes in Congress are determined to prevent this, no matter how wide they have to spread their legs or how much gyrating they have to do.

And the funniest (but not ha ha) part of this whole charade is the stated “reasons” given by Inhofe and Murkowski for opposing this increased liability: They’re concerned about smaller independent oil companies. Smaller companies might be jeopardized if the liability cap is raised too high.

Republicans are concerned about jobs and small businesses. ROTFLMAO. How’s that for a knee-slapper. And if you believe any of that bullshit, I’m a Nigerian prince who has just inherited a large sum of money, and if I could have your Social Security number and your bank account number…

And the Stupid Republican Tricks just keep coming: House Republicans have derailed a science and technology bill. The COMPETES Act would have committed $40 billion over a 3-year period toward the National Science Foundation. This bill also would have provided loan guarantees to small businesses that develop new technologies; and it would have promoted math and science education.

Fine, we’ll just let the rest of the world keep on moving ahead of us and passing us by. And what’s this newfangled “Sigh Ints” you speak of, anyway? Booklarnin’ is for pussies. We got countries to invade; fetuses to protect.