James Inhofe, Lisa Murkowski: “BP’s Oil Spill Is a GOOD Thing”

Senator James Inhofe (R—Inbred) and Rep. Lisa Murkowski (R—Prostitute) have spread their legs wider and bent over further for Big Oil than anyone else in Congress, so far.

They’ve both blocked legislation that would increase oil companies’ liability when an oil spill wrecks the environment and thousands of people's livelihoods. The current liability cap is $75 million. $75 million?!?!? For a gigantic bloated company like BP (or Exxon), $75 million isn’t even pocket change.

Congressional Democrats are trying to raise the liability cap to $10 billion. Big Oil’s skanky prostitutes in Congress are determined to prevent this, no matter how wide they have to spread their legs or how much gyrating they have to do.

And the funniest (but not ha ha) part of this whole charade is the stated “reasons” given by Inhofe and Murkowski for opposing this increased liability: They’re concerned about smaller independent oil companies. Smaller companies might be jeopardized if the liability cap is raised too high.

Republicans are concerned about jobs and small businesses. ROTFLMAO. How’s that for a knee-slapper. And if you believe any of that bullshit, I’m a Nigerian prince who has just inherited a large sum of money, and if I could have your Social Security number and your bank account number…

And the Stupid Republican Tricks just keep coming: House Republicans have derailed a science and technology bill. The COMPETES Act would have committed $40 billion over a 3-year period toward the National Science Foundation. This bill also would have provided loan guarantees to small businesses that develop new technologies; and it would have promoted math and science education.

Fine, we’ll just let the rest of the world keep on moving ahead of us and passing us by. And what’s this newfangled “Sigh Ints” you speak of, anyway? Booklarnin’ is for pussies. We got countries to invade; fetuses to protect.