Taliban Employee of the Quarter: Newt Gingrich

With Dumbya out of office for over a year and a half, and Obama traveling around the world “apologizing for America,” radical Muslims were starting to have trouble finding new recruits. What ever were al Qaeda and the Taliban going to do?

Fortunately, America’s own infestation of rightwing hatefucks has come to the rescue. The orchestrated campaign against the Park 51 Islamic Community Center — if you speak Inbred, that’s the “Mosque At Ground Zero!!!” — is being broadcast into jillions of homes around the world.

Newt Gingrich says this mosque is part of a sinister plot to bring Sharia to the United States. Equally retarded statements have been shat out by Sarah Palin, Rush Limbaugh and other rightwing demagogues. Not to mention that mysterious fire in Murfreesboro, TN where a mosque was going to be built.

The leadership of al Qaeda and the Taliban are jumping for joy. A Taliban operative told Newsweek:

“By preventing this mosque from being built, America is doing us a big favor. It’s providing us with more recruits, donations, and popular support…The more mosques you stop, the more jihadis we will get.”

Nice going, rightwads.

Suddenly All Of Our Enemies in Iraq Are “Al Qaeda”

With Bush plummeting further and further in the polls and Iraqmire being more disastrous than ever, our “leaders” have come up with a new spin. Since the public is still rightfully concerned about al Qaeda — Presto! Every enemy combatant that we've killed or captured in Iraq is now a high-ranking member of al Qaeda.

Isn't that great? We’re winning! Freedom is on the march! At this rate we'll be capturing Osama bin Laden any day now.

Without any changes in military strategy or any new intelligence information, yesterday’s “insurgents” have suddenly become today’s al Qaeda members. If you can't win, the next best option is to redefine all the terms.

It’s bad enough that the Pentagon is putting on this charade. Even worse — the “media” is marching right along in lockstep, dutifully re-christening all “insurgents” and “enemy combatants” as “al Qaeda.” The New York Times recently used the term “al Qaeda” nineteen times in an article describing American battles in Iraq.

These are desperate times. Bush and Cheney have constantly fallen back on generic terms like “terrorists” whenever they wanted to arouse mass paranoia. If some pesky reporter asks why we invaded Iraq — “the war on terror,” “fighting them over there so we don’t have to fight them over here,” etc.

But referring specifically to al Qaeda just to push the right emotional buttons — this was always a level that even Bush wouldn’t stoop to. Until now.

Here is another example of a “news” story “reporting” on our war against "al Qaeda" in Iraq. We've all noticed the gradual change in the “media” as they’ve deteriorated from Watchdog to Lapdog. The mutation is now complete.

And here is another article on Bush’s desperate attempts to create the illusion of victory in Iraq by renaming and redefining everything.

For a larger view of the Bush Administration's history of lying, spinning and redefining, take this quiz. Had enough?

Oil Empire

This website is just too chilling and too troubling to ignore. Is it just a bunch of wacky conspiracy nuts, or is there some truth to it? The neocons (PNAC etc.), al Qaeda, the CIA, the oil industry and several Shiite and Sunni governments — are they all just one giant interconnected organization, manipulating the “events” of the world? Are the Terrorists and the War on Terror both on the same team, and just pretending to be at war with each other? A lot of people accuse the Democrats and Republicans of doing this — being the same party and just pretending to argue with each other — but these other accusations are a lot more far-reaching.

Was September 11th America’s version of the Reichstag fire?

Maybe liberals are too carried away with conspiracy theories. That’s what the rightwingers keep saying. And we should listen to them since they're so rational and level-headed, right?

The party that’s out of power is always more prone to farfetched theories and accusations. During Bill Clinton’s presidency we all had a good laugh over those paranoid survivalists and militia groups who kept blubbering about black helicopters and America being invaded by the United Nations. And don’t forget Bill Clinton murdered Vince Foster and then made it look like a suicide.

So is that what the Left is doing now — just making a bunch of sweeping accusations that can't be proven or disproven? We’ll probably never know. But that website sure is thought-provoking. I’d suggest bookmarking it; there's a lot of information there.

Good News From Pakistan

The tribal region of Northern Pakistan has long been a sanctuary for Islamic terrorists. This area has been suspected of harboring Osama bin Laden. But lately the local tribesmen have been turning against foreign terrorists operating in their country.

About fifty Islamic militants — mostly from Uzbekistan and Chechnya — were killed earlier today in clashes with native Pakistanis. A Pakistani official said all together about 177 foreign militants have been killed by locals since last week.

The Pakistani government has been unsuccessful in getting rid of al Qaeda and other terrorist groups, especially in the tribal regions. But lately the government has been signing treaties with some of the tribes, hoping to drive a wedge between the tribesmen and foreign terrorists. This approach seems to be working.

The latest battle started when a terrorist group tried to forcibly recruit students from a local tribal school.

Now THIS is the way to fight the Global War On Terror. Persuasion. Capturing the hearts and minds of millions of people, village by village, tribe by tribe. It beats the shit out of alienating the rest of the world by bombing, invading and occupying.

Afghanistan and the tribal regions of Pakistan have never been conquered by an outside army. The Soviet Union in the 1980s and England in the early 1900s are the most recent would-be conquerors to get their asses kicked. Now it’s al Qaeda’s turn.

The World Through Neocon Lenses

Happy Anniversary, fellow Americans. And what a glorious four years it’s been — the proudest 4-year period in our nation’s history. Just think, four years ago the world was threatened by the most bloodthirsty dictator since Adolph Hitler. He had Weapons of Mass Destruction which he might unleash at any moment if we didn’t act instantly.

Not only that, but he had close ties with al Qaeda and every other Islamic terrorist group in the world. They were all watching us, just waiting to see if we’d have the nerve to fight the Evil Dictator. If we didn’t, the terrorists would know we were just a bunch of Surrender Monkeys. Our failure to act would encourage them to attack us any time they felt like it. Well, we showed ‘em. When we toppled Saddam Hussein, those Islamic terrorist groups just collapsed. POOF! We haven’t seen a trace of them for four years now.

When we invaded Iraq, our soldiers were greeted as liberators. Our Mission was Accomplished and within just a few days our troops were all brought home safely. Since that time, Iraq has been a prosperous democracy; the Jewel of the Middle East. Everything happened exactly as Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld had said it would. Oh, and the revenue from Iraq’s oil industry has more than paid for all of our military expenditures.

It was all so neat — let’s do it again.

Blithering Boy-King Needs Another Trophy

Our spoiled tantrum-throwing trustfund baby seems determined to attack Iran no matter what, and he isn’t about to let any facts get in his way. (Has he ever?)

It doesn’t matter that Iranian forces captured two al Qaeda leaders who were traveling through Iran on their way to Iraq. And so what if Iran tried to open up diplomatic communication between the U.S. and Iran in 2003 (before Ahmadinejad took over)? Their overture was ignored (and never publicized) by the Bush Administration. Fuck a bunch of wussy diplomacy — we've got sabers to rattle.

Our cerebrally-challenged manchild has to have his way and that’s all there is to it. If he can't invade Iran, he's gonna stamp his foot, thrust out his lower lip and hold his breath until he turns blue.

You know things are bad when Russia — not exactly a beacon of human rights — criticizes America’s foreign policy for its “almost uncontained” use of force. At a security forum in Germany, Putin said “we are witnessing an almost uncontained hyper use of force in international relations. One state, the United States, has overstepped its national borders in every way. This is very dangerous, nobody feels secure anymore because nobody can hide behind international law.”

Yes, it’s the pot calling the kettle black, but that statement needed to be made. It isn’t any less valid just because it was made by the Russian president.

Well, so much for that celebrated friendship and empathy between Bush and Putin. Nobody but NOBODY criticizes George W. Bush and gets away with it. Putin is out of the clubhouse. Off the island! Never again will Bush gaze deeply into Putin’s eyes and look into his soul.