Republicans Tighten Their Grip

The Republicans just seem to be getting more and more disdainful of quaint old concepts like respect for voters’ wishes, or being a nation of laws.

This trend started most blatantly during Clinton’s impeachment. How can we get rid of a popular president who just got re-elected? Let’s see, we can prosecute him for having an affair and lying to cover it up. What politician has ever committed such a shocking act?

Next, of course, was the infamous Florida election. What more can be said…….

Next was the recall of California Governor Grey Davis. How do you recall a governor who’s just been re-elected? Doesn’t he have to be guilty of something? No problem. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s immense star power and personal wealth, plus the buying power of a few right wing millionaires, led to Grey Davis’s being steamrolled right out of the governor’s mansion.

Around the same time, in Texas, the legislature was working on a redistricting plan to make the Republicans’ advantage even more lopsided. When the Democratic minority boycotted the legislative vote and left the state, the Republican powers that be tried to have them prosecuted, even though the boycott was legal.

Now we have Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist threatening to eliminate the use of the filibuster, in order to guarantee approval of any and all nominees to federal courts, including the Supreme Court if there’s a vacancy.

In their latest attempt to change the rules in the 9th inning, House Republicans have voted to allow the Majority Leader (who happens to be Tom DeLay) to retain his seat even if he is indicted by a Texas grand jury on political corruption charges. Currently, party leaders are required to resign their positions if they’ve been indicted for a state or federal crime that could carry a prison term of at least 2 years. Let’s eliminate this troublesome little rule and tighten our grip even more.

What’s next? If the president’s last name starts with B and he has a fake southern accent, he will not be limited to just 2 terms in the White House. In fact, if his father is a former president and his wife’s name starts with L, he is automatically President For Life. And if he happens to have a younger brother who’s currently governor of a populous southern state, said younger brother shall be the next designated President For Life.

For those of you who live in blue states, or even a blue precinct in a red state: don’t pay any attention to that van parked in front of your house. Those guys in the van, wearing shades and using lots of cameras and electronic equipment are just -- well, don’t worry about it. You don’t have anything to hide, do you? You’re not guilty of anything, are you?