Until recently, I hadn’t given much thought to my high school and college years. But several recent news items have brought waves of nostalgia for the good old days.
Awhile ago, Rush Limbaugh pointed out that those sniveling crybabies at Abu Ghraib had nothing to whimper about; their “abuse” and “torture” were no more “harsh” than fraternity stunts. That got me reminiscing about my fraternity days.
Then, the lawyer for Charles Graner – the alleged ringleader at Abu Ghraib – defended the Abu Ghraib practice of stacking tied-up naked prisoners into a human pyramid. He said “don’t cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year? Is that torture?”
Ah, the memories. Who could forget the fun we all had, stripping and hog-tying the cheerleaders and stacking them into a pyramid. Sometimes we’d cop a feel; sometimes we’d put them on leashes and take pictures. God, I loved high school. I used to wish those days could last forever.
Then, just when I thought life couldn’t get any better, I went to college and joined a fraternity. The fun was just beginning. I didn’t enjoy my initiation much at the time, but in retrospect, I loved it. Several times they pushed my head under water ‘til I almost drowned. I loved those guys! The following year, it was my turn to do some initiating. Yeeaaahhhh!!!!! We had to make sure those pledges really wanted in. We’d take a cattle prod and hold it against some guy’s scrotum, or take a lit cigarette and hold it inside someone’s ear. Hey, we were a fraternity! This one crazy dude, he used to wrap a burlap sack around some pledge’s head, get him in a headlock and then punch him in the face as hard as he could. Too much!! He used to love Hell Week. He was always saying to himself “I love to see a grown man piss himself.” God, what a character.
Those were the days.