Parents TV Council (Again)
It’s an overused cliché to say “get a life,” or so-and-so “needs to get out more,” etc. OK, with that said, there is one person (or group) that stands head and shoulders above the rest for having absolutely nothing to do and all day to do it. No more calls, we have a winner!
The Parents Television Council -- already lampooned here and elsewhere for being the grownup version of the grade school tattle-tale and brown-noser -- has made the news again. And again, it just boggles the mind that someone can have this much free time, and such a twisted sense of priorities.
During a one-week period in March 2004, the Parents TV Council monitored MTV, and counted 3,056 flashes of nudity and 2,881 verbal references to sex.
I’m just trying to imagine a person (or group) actually counting 3,056 nude images and 2,881 verbal sexual references. This person, whoever he/she is, must make the typical elderly shut-in look busier than a one-armed paperhanger. He/she makes Boo Radley look like the most gregarious gadfly anywhere.
This just makes my head hurt -- counting the number of nude flashes on a TV station during a 7-day period. Doesn’t that just make your eyes feel like they’re gonna pop out?!? This would make a good case for a group intervention. We’re here to help you. Remain calm. Back sloooowly away from the TV set. Now look up. Now turn your head . See that glass-covered square-shaped hole in the wall? If you look through that hole, you can see the world out there. Streets, sidewalks, real people moving around -- you know, life!
I don’t know if these thousands of nude scenes and references were monitored by one person or a group. A group?!?!? How would they manage to synchronize their work? I can’t even imagine Monica Geller and Adrian Monk coordinating and synchronizing enough for this. “OK, at 4 o’clock and 20 minutes and 318 nanoseconds, I’m gonna take a bathroom break. You ready to take over?”
When they get through with this Earth-shaking project, maybe they could count the number of bristles on a hairbrush, or count (and measure) each blade of grass in Central park.
Sheesh! Get a life.