Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, April 18, 2005

It's All Hillary's Fault!!

Who’s behind these treasonous attacks on Tom DeLay? Yes of course it’s the Loony Left, but one particular America-hating socialist is orchestrating this entire disgraceful plot: Hillary Clinton! That’s right. All the rest of those godless liberals are falling in behind Hillary so that Tom DeLay and other decent Americans will be out of the way when Hilary goes to the White House.

According to a spokesman for DeLay: “Hillary's fingerprints are all over it……She has a very clear plan for seizing control of the entire United States government, which includes orchestrating Democrat control of the House in 2006 so it is firmly in place when she is elected president in 2008.”

After Hillary takes over, the first step of her diabolical plan will be — (gasp!) — socialized medicine! Noooo!!!!! Please God, in the name of all that is Holy, save us! Our Christian heritage and our free enterprise system, killed in one fell swoop.

The mystery spokesman also said: “Her focus and her goals go far beyond just the White House.” Hillary is single-handedly directing the Washington Post, New York Times and the rest of the liberal media to wage this relentless character assassination campaign against Tom DeLay.

The spokesman continued: “Hillary knows exactly what she is doing. Target the strongest force the GOP has in Congress — DeLay — keep targeting until Republicans surrender and retreat in disarray, then pick up the easy pieces in 2006.”

Now that we know who the real culprit is, this evil communist must be stopped. We all know how the Lord punished America on September 11th for our wicked ways — Jerry Falwell wouldn’t lie. If we allow this agent of the Devil to take over America, what will God’s next punishment be?

God spoke to me, and He said: "Stop Hillary, or America gets it!"


Blogger Brother Kenya said...

Heh heh. Weird wild shtuff. What the right doesn't seem to get is that few libruls want to see Hillary on that ballot in 2008. This is all wishful thinking -- the ultimate conservative wet dream!

April 18, 2005 at 1:36 PM  
Blogger Ken Grandlund said...

Guess it's time for another special prosecutor to investigate Hillary's latest degression. That's worth at least another $40m or so, ain't it?

Typical Delay tactics- blame anyone other than yourself for your own corruption and malevolence.

April 18, 2005 at 1:38 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Brother Kenya: The Right probably secretly wants Hillary to run for president, knowing she doesn't stand a chance. But she's their favorite villain. If she didn't exist, they would have had to invent her.

Ken: Yup, call in that special prosecutor. Money is no object.

April 18, 2005 at 4:22 PM  
Blogger Jet said...

Too funny. Such an unimaginitive bunch. "It's a slow day, Tom, better push the Hillary button and get them all jumpin'."

April 18, 2005 at 8:50 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jet: Yup, the Hillary button. Works every time.

April 18, 2005 at 9:11 PM  
Blogger Gun-Toting Liberal said...

Actually, I *do* think Hillary's got a good chance in '08 and the right wing nutjobs have every reason to fear her.

I enjoyed reading your article. Blog ON.

April 19, 2005 at 8:54 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Gun-toting Liberal: Thanks. I don't think Hillary could get elected, partly because she's a senator and senators hardly ever get elected to the White House, and partly because she just galvanizes the Right's hatred like nobody else. The rightwing hatchet jobs on Dukakis and Kerry would look like a high school debating team compared to what they'll do to Hillary if she runs.

But either way, it's fun to see the wingnuts start foaming at the mouth every time either Clinton gets mentioned.

April 19, 2005 at 10:18 AM  
Blogger Unadulterated Underdog said...

No politics today. God bless Pope Benedict XVI!

April 19, 2005 at 11:08 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

OK Democrat: I don't know much about the Catholic religion or organization, but I'm glad they've made a selection. A German Pope; I guess they know what they're doing...

April 19, 2005 at 11:58 AM  
Blogger Mags said...

Why they all so anti-Hillary? Is it because she called them out on their "vast right-wing conspiracy"?

April 19, 2005 at 1:43 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mags: I don't know why, actually. But they're like Pavlov's dogs -- mention either Clinton and they all start salivating and foaming at the mouth.

April 19, 2005 at 3:56 PM  
Blogger Jet said...

Perhaps it's because she's neither afraid of them nor impressed by them: they don't know what to do about her so they demonize her.

We got nuthin'. Better let the dogs go....

April 19, 2005 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger Benjamin Solah said...

You are on sick person. How can you breed hate against someone who is for socialized medicine! Doesn't everybody have the right to healthcare, but as it is always with you right wing fucks, making a profit out of somebodies suffering seems far more important.

April 19, 2005 at 6:44 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jet: That sounds like a good reason. Bill and Hillary both respond by completely ignoring all the baiting from the Far Right, the way you'd ignore a retarded-looking street person who was yelling out incoherent phrases at you. Bill especially -- he never once responded to any of the baiting and namecalling during the '92 and '96 elections.

Benjamin Solah: Hey, Planet Earth calling! Couldn't you tell this post was tongue-in-cheek?!? If nothing else, the other comments should have tipped you off. Pay attention to what you're reading.

April 19, 2005 at 6:54 PM  
Blogger Alice: In Wonderland or Not said...

As to if she gets the nomination and if she had a chance , the jury is still out. The whole democratic party needs some revamping. She is what they needed last time or someone like her. They do fear her that is why the hate mongering began a long time ago.
She can' t be baited either , which is a very postive thing.

April 19, 2005 at 9:08 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Aliceinwonderland: I agree the Democratic party needs revamping. I can't see Hillary winning the election, and right now the biggest priority is nominating someone who can get those wingnuts out of the White House. I think whether the nominee is liberal or moderate is less important; mostly the party needs a candidate who will deliver a strong message without flipflopping. And we need a campaign manager with Karl Rove's shrewdness; Kerry's campaign was totally inept.

But Hillary sure does drive the Far Right crazy. It's amusing to watch.

April 19, 2005 at 9:33 PM  

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