Justice Sunday — Back By Popular Demand

You probably remember “Justice Sunday” from this past April, that huge gathering of the Spanish Inquisition prominent Christian Fundamentalists and Dominionists. They all congregated to inform The Faithful that God does not want the next Supreme Court nomination to be filibustered by evil Democrats.

It was such a booming success, there had to be a sequel — Son of Justice Sunday. It was held last Sunday in Nashville.

Bill Frist, formerly the fair-haired boy for the Salem Witch Trials Christian Theocracy movement, was not invited to the party this time. Apparently he dropped the ball. His Mission From God was to permanently eliminate the filibuster. And instead he compromised — Compromised! — with godless liberals. And of course he flipflopped on stem cell research. Bye Bill — you didn’t get into the fraternity. You’ve been officially blackballed by Tau Kappa Jesus.

Tom DeLay was there; he needed a break from fending off Grand Juries and reporters. He told the crowd “All wisdom does not reside in nine persons in black robes. The Constitution is clear on the point that the power to make laws is vested on Congress.”

With John Roberts’ hearings beginning in early September, DeLay needed to remind everyone of the Eleventh Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Filibuster.” Ironically, some conservatives are now concerned that Roberts might actually be too liberal for the Supreme Court. Hmmm…Awkward…If they end up voting against Roberts because of his “liberal” views, how will they spin this?

James Dobson was there (of course!). He said America’s highest ranking judges are “unelected, unaccountable and arrogant.” Dobson speaks not only with God, but also with our Founding Fathers. Hot Damn! — talk about sitting at the Popular Table. In his speech, he claimed to know exactly what the Founding Fathers wanted.

Bill Donohue, president of The Catholic League, spoke in favor of a constitutional amendment stating “unless a judicial vote is unanimous, you cannot overturn a law created by Congress.”

Another speaker said “Activist justices — we’re trying to find out what we can do to stop that activity. Our laws are based on the Ten Commandments.” Oh.

Fortunately, there were some other religious groups protesting against Son of Justice Sunday. An organizer of Community of Faith and Unity Gathering said “this is so Americans can see the ’Justice Sunday’ sponsors and Tom DeLay don’t have any exclusive hold on religion.”

The founder of Faith Voices for the Common Good said “those people meeting with Tom DeLay, Chuck Colson and Jim Dobson think they own the Bible and that God speaks only to them.”