This Is Our Chance: Bring America Home to Jesus!
Well, that damn Rapture keeps on postponing itself, but keep the faith. We haven’t been whisked up to Heaven yet, but this here is the next best thing. There'll be a gathering of us righteous, sanctimonious Godfearing folk in Tualatin, Oregon on February 23rd and 24th. We got us a Culture War to fight.
The entire Left Coast is nothing but a hellhole of pagans, homasexials and liberals. To the rescue! Godless Liberalism is the disease and we’re the cure. We gonna bring these sinners to Jesus! Praise The Lord!
We’ll have two glorious days away from the secular wickedness that’s destroying America. If you're the laughingstock of your neighborhood because you're the only one who handles snakes and burns books — don’t despair. There are millions of self-righteous little pricks just like you, and this will be your chance to mingle with some of them.
Discussion topics will include: Godlessness in America; the Homosexual Agenda; the frightening ulterior motives behind so-called “Hate Crimes” legislation; and how to mobilize the Christian vote.
Remember: America is a Christian Nation. This was the intention of God, and of our Founding Fathers who spoke through Him. God is demanding that we win the Culture War. (And you know what happens when He is displeased!) You MUST attend this important conference and learn God’s plan for YOU. Onward Christian Soldiers!
Labels: culture war, God, Jesus, Left Coast, Oregon, Rapture, Restore America, secular, Tualatin
posted by Tom Harper @ 11:20 AM
14 Comments:
Tom, you really crack me up!
The worst part of this stupidity is that these idiots really believe the moronic things they say. That's what scares me.
My pagan ancestors are turning in their earthen graves at the thought of a gathering of "soulsuckers". Burn some sage to cleanse the land after they've gone.
Who was it that said the "religion is the opiate of the people"? I agree. These pious folks need treatment for addiction and deprogramming, too!
Kurt: Yup, there are lots of crazed idiots out there who'll believe anything. And it's scary.
Kitchen Window Woman: LOL. Yes, that land will need to be cleansed after all those snakehandlers have done their business there. Those people could definitely use some deprogramming and some rehab treatment for their addiction to opiates (of the religious kind).
One thing I've always been confused about...if the Israelis are God's chosen people what do they need us for? I'd love to hear a Fundie explain that...
Kitchen Window Woman, I believe it was Karl Marx who said religion was the opaite of the masses. However, he said that before television came along....
J. Marquis: Hey, you some kind of troublemaker or something? Only Satan would ask a question like that :)
Mile High Pixie: I guess watching a televangelist (and sending him money) would be the ultimate opiate.
These are the same people with the same philosophy that saw nothing wrong with slavery, segregation and the massacure of the American Indian, as well as onwarding their Christian Solders to dominate other Cultures and Countries, to convert or kill. To make the White man first and the White woman (a distant)2nd.
Swept aside is Jesus message about Love, Forgiveness, Brotherhood and helping those less fortunate then you are. Replaced is selling fear of a vengeful god that will strike you down should you object to war, have sex without procreation, want to marry outside of your race, feed the hungry, masturbate and have thoughts for someone the same sex you are.
Jessie Jackson argues with Jerry Falwell all the time: "what are you doing about the homeless, the sick, the under-insured, Civil rights carry out Jesus word?" instead it's money, bigger churches, subjugated population and abortion.
makes me sick
People missed the whole point about DaVinci Code.
Erik
It reminds me of a a news magazine story I saw on television about a devout family who believed in the Rapture. The teenage boy was pretty circumspect about it all, but the 10 year old girl had all the talking points down.
What really stuck with me though was the Mom when asked if she though the Rapture was coming soon. With a tired sigh she bemoaned, "I certainly hope so."
And I thought drugs was an escape.
Erik: Yup, it’s the same people all right. Their scheduled speeches at that gathering have absolutely nothing to do with “love thy neighbor,” “judge not lest ye be judged,” helping the needy or anything else that Christianity actually stands for. Christianity got hijacked a long time ago by a handful of powercrazed organizations. And now power and subjugation are the only things they care about.
Prague Twin: Damn, that’s pretty shocking. That’s even worse than the quote about religion being the opiate of the masses. That’s like a junkie who hopes that his/her next drug high will take him/her to that ultimate end, so there's never anything else to worry about ever again…
Thanks for the article, Tom. Good work!
I noticed one of the speakers at this meeting was ex-Seahawk Ken H. of the Antioch mega-Church. Some of my family members went to that church on a regular basis, and once when they came to visit they left a copy of Ken's book "The Church" out conspicuously on our coffee table, probably hoping we would pick it up and look. I did, and found a chapter that dealt with punishment and excommunication from the congregation. Ken advises that if any church member suspects anyone else of sinning, they come to HIM. If the sinners keep sinning, they get to stand before the entire congregation and get excommunicated. Sheesh... sounds just a little like a "cult of personality" to me, or maybe just a plain ol' good ol' CULT. But back to the conversation:
What a bunch of paranoids... how can they really think they are being persecuted for their religious beliefs when a large majority of Americans are... Christians? And if they really are being persecuted, why don't they just all do what the Pilgrims did? LEAVE!
Because there isn't really much of any place left on Earth for them to go, I would suggest they all go to the moon, or better yet to somewhere in interstellar space. They certainly have enough money to build the spacecraft such an endeavor would require...
Then again, the building of spacecraft would rely upon basic principles of science, which so many of them refuse to acknowledge or trust. So, I guess the rest of us are just kind of stuck with them... until the "rapture", if that ever happens.
I believe what this stupid "war on Christianity" amounts to is a way for them to justify their attacks on the rest of us, and for them to increase their power. Whoever it was who said "fundamentalism is only about power" was right, IMO.
I will have to find out where in Tualatin this conference was held, and next time I am in Portland I will burn some sage on the site if that will help as part of a cleansing process. Thanks for the tip on that, KWW! Out, out, vile demons! OUT, I say!!!
I ain't going to no Oregon.
If the Rapture was to come while I was there, I'd get stuck there forever-how is the Lord going to pick out the righteous among all those heathens? It'd be like trying to figure out individual grains of sand in the Sahara.
Snave: Yeah, they're really playing that “War on Christianity” card. In a way it’s hilarious to see people who make up 90% of the population, circling the wagons and battening down the hatches like they're some sort of persecuted endangered minority. But it’s scary that such a transparent tactic keeps on working.
I found Tualatin on the map. I couldn’t believe it’s right outside Portland. Right where 5 and 205 intersect, so I’ve driven past it a few times. I just assumed it was a small town out in the middle of nowhere, since the interior parts of Washington and Oregon can be pretty, uh, conservative. But the image of thousands of Biblethumpers whooping and hollering in a Portland suburb — should be interesting.
Jolly Roger: Hey, that’s a thought. It would be terrible to have the Rapture strike while you're visiting Sodom and Gomorrah. Much safer to stay in decent righteous areas and be ready to get beamed up to Heaven when that magic moment arrives.
Yes, I can relate to all these comments. It reminds me of the old saying that "hell would be spending eternity with the kind of people who are going to heaven."
I'm sure staying the hell out of Tulatin (now and in the future) in case that big ol' crack opens up and sucks me in.
You go, Tom!
Anonymous: Thanks. I like that quote; it sure fits.
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